How to stop saying 'I'll be happy when' and start believing 'I am happy now'
Have you ever found yourself stuck in the sticky cycle of 'I'll be happy when...'?
When I get that promotion, when I lose 10 pounds, when my relationship improves – these future-focused desires can put happiness on hold, leaving us feeling unfulfilled in the present. But what if happiness wasn't a destination but a journey we could actively participate in right now?
The good news is, you can shift your mindset and start finding joy in the everyday. Here are four practical steps to break free from the 'I'll be happy when' mentality and embrace happiness in the present:
Step 1: Identify your 'happiness when' triggers
The first step is becoming aware of your own 'happiness when' patterns. Pay attention to your internal dialogue. When do you find yourself saying things like 'I'll be happy when...' or 'Once I achieve X, then I can finally be happy'? Notice the situations, emotions, or desires that trigger these thoughts.
Self-awareness is key to change. By pinpointing how your 'happiness when' mentality shows up, you can start to challenge its hold on you.
Step 2: Reframe the narrative: 'I am happy because...'
Once you identify your triggers, practice reframing the 'I'll be happy when' narrative. Instead, focus on what brings you joy in the present moment. Challenge yourself to replace those future-focused statements with affirmations that begin with 'I am happy because...'
Here are some examples:
Instead of:'I'll be happy when I lose 10 pounds.'
Try: 'I am happy because I am taking steps towards a healthier lifestyle, and I appreciate my body for all it does.'
Instead of:'I'll be happy when I get that promotion.'
Try: 'I am happy because I am learning and growing in my current role, and I am grateful for the opportunities I have.'
Benefit: Gratitude cultivation. Shifting your focus to present-moment appreciation allows you to savour the good things already in your life, fostering a sense of contentment.
Step 3: Find joy in the journey
Happiness isn't a single destination; it's found in the small moments throughout your journey. Instead of waiting for external validation or a future milestone, start incorporating activities you genuinely enjoy into your daily routine.
Maybe it's spending 10 minutes reading before bed, taking a walk in nature, or connecting with a loved one. These small joys add up and create a foundation for overall happiness.
Benefit: Increased well-being. Engaging in activities you enjoy reduces stress, boosts your mood, and fosters a sense of purpose in the present moment.
Step 4: Celebrate the small wins
Often, in the pursuit of big goals, we overlook the smaller achievements. However, recognising and celebrating these milestones is crucial for staying motivated and feeling happy along the way.
Did you finally master that yoga pose you've been working on? Did you have a productive day at work? Did you spend quality time with a friend? Take a moment to acknowledge these accomplishments – big or small.
Benefit: Enhanced motivation. Celebrating small wins reinforces positive behaviours and keeps you moving forward on your goals, which in turn fosters a sense of accomplishment and happiness.
Remember, happiness is a journey, not a destination. By following these steps, you can cultivate a more present-moment focus, appreciate the good already in your life, and find joy in the journey itself.
Bonus Tip: Practice gratitude regularly
Gratitude is a powerful tool for boosting happiness. Start a gratitude journal and write down 3 things you're grateful for each day. You can also try a gratitude meditation, where you take time to appreciate the positive aspects of your life, big or small.
Embrace the present and find happiness now
Shifting your mindset from 'I'll be happy when' to a more present-moment focus takes time and effort. However, the benefits – increased well-being, a deeper appreciation for life, and a stronger sense of happiness – are well worth it. By incorporating these steps into your daily routine, you can ditch the 'happiness when' mentality and start finding joy in the journey of life, right now.
Georgie May is a wellness activist and author of new book Lucky Girl: Unveiling the Secrets of Manifesting a Lucky Life (out now, published by Capstone, £14.99)
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