'My spiritual teacher helped me believe in myself - and achieve my dreams'
I left my Catholic comprehensive school overstuffed with religion, quickly distancing myself from the church, but I often felt something was spiritually missing within me. For many reasons growing up I’d also felt an outsider, not entirely sure how to be myself, trying on roles and characteristics as an actor would, all the while ignoring my own gut instincts, which often led to frustrations that would fester inside me.
In my mid-thirties, inspired by the tales of a good friend, who always emanated such peace after a visit to her spiritual teacher, I booked my first appointment with Sheena. I arrived at our appointment entirely guarded, but Sheena’s warmth soon eased my resistance as we began our session with meditation and mint tea, in her small therapy room which was alive with colour and crystals.
Sheena told me how she had discovered her spirituality as a child, taught by a guru, and as she shuffled her tarot, for the first time in my life my critical, insecure inner voice began to dial itself down, allowing me the opportunity to listen to my true self, and try facing the questions that I’d forever been too afraid of the answers to ever even risk asking.
I told her about my writing hopes, whether trying to get published was a waste of time, which we quickly sussed out stemmed from my lifetime hesitancy to ever believe in myself. But Sheena’s answer was definite. ‘I see a book with many names written in black; lots of little stories stacked in a row.’ About eighteen months later I was selected for an anthology; the cover art was the many contributor’s names stacked down the centre of the book, written in black. Though this was certainly proof that Sheena knew things, I felt in my heart from that very first visit, when she asked if I wanted to remain stuck that I’d met someone who completely understood me.
Sheena’s helped me rethink how my brain would automatically dismiss my wants, at the same time examining the horrible pattern of listening to other people instead of trusting or believing in myself. Each time we’ve met, I leave feeling entirely protected and safe, more certain of my own convictions. Putting my trust in the universe, as Sheena suggested, comes through finally trusting myself. It filled the spiritual hole in me, yet it also felt tangible, logical almost, to focus on mother nature for guidance to becoming more naturally awakened.
Manifesting, from colour visualisations to simply speaking aloud my deepest wants and anxieties and putting them out into the universe, has given purpose to my living journey, and as Sheena’s teachings became a practice, I adapted my own routine of morning meditations, weekly tarot and a more involved meditation around moon phases.
Sheena’s influence has rewarded me with incredible peace and insight. Her practices are linked to breaking cycles instead of repeating unhealthy patterns of behaviour. Meditative introspection has unpicked those unhealthy patterns of overthinking and selling myself short, allowing me the freedom to at last be comfortable with who I am, and I’m so grateful to Sheena for unlocking the cage I kept myself in. She predicted correctly how I’d help others like me too – another thing that’s also found its way into reality, since I began mentoring underrepresented emerging writers.
Lately, our relationship has blossomed further; I’m assisting Sheena with writing her first book, and it’s a privilege to help. As a spiritual guide and journal, the book’s full of Sheena’s teachings designed to benefit everybody, because the world certainly needs her guidance more than ever.
Eva Verde’s new novel, In Bloom, publishes in hardback on 31 August 2023
You Might Also Like
