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Do you really sleep better if you don't share a bed with your partner?

Is it better for your health to sleep together or apart? (Getty Images)
Is it better for your health to sleep together or apart? (Getty Images)

While the idea of sharing a bed with the one you love may seem perfect, the reality – in terms of sleep – is often quite different. However compatible you are in everyday life, when it comes to sleep habits you may be the opposite.

Yes, from sleep-talking to snoring, the range of sleep issues afflicting couples is as varied as it is contentious. In fact, one study of 3,000 American adults in 2018 found that nearly a third (30.9%) of respondents would even prefer a ‘sleep divorce’ so they can sleep separately from their partner.

Snoring is the real killer. After infidelity and financial issues, snoring is one of the most common reasons for marriages failing, with it often cited as an example of ‘unreasonable behaviour’ in divorce proceedings. Around 41% of the UK adult population snore (or around 15 million people) and one study by the Mayo Clinic even found that a partner can lose as much as an hour’s sleep a night because of their other half’s snoring.

Read more: World Sleep Day: 10 ways to get a better night’s sleep

Men are the worst offenders, outnumbering female snorers by over two to one and snoring more loudly too. It’s also why the actor Tom Cruise reportedly had a separate sound-proofed bedroom made in his house – a so-called ‘snoratorium’ – just so his wife Katie Holmes didn’t have to suffer his snoring. Not that it did them any good – they split up in 2012.

Woman pinning man's noise as he snores next to her in bed. (Getty Images)
Is your partner's snoring making you tempted to get a 'sleep divorce'?

Nor did it work for actor Helena Bonham-Carter and her husband, film director Tim Burton. For so long they were seen as the perfect showbiz couple and their secret? Not just separate beds but separate houses, right next door to each other. Again, though, they went their separate ways.

While the downsides of sharing your bed with your partner can prove problematic for a relationship, the many benefits for your health and wellbeing can actually outweigh the irritations, no matter how numerous they are.

In 2012, for example, a report by the Wall Street Journal revealed that sleeping in the same bed as your partner provided several psychological boosts for couples.

Not only did it increase the body’s production of the so-called ‘love hormone’ oxytocin and reduce levels of the stress hormone cortisol, therefore helping to ease anxiety and aid better sleep, but it also signalled a decline in cytokines, those tiny proteins that play a significant role in inflammation.

Read more: Could sleeping apart from your partner lead to more sex?

They’re not the only chemical reactions taking place when you share a bed with your partner (assuming they don’t snore).

From increases in serotonin and dopamine that help with wellbeing and happiness to a rise in prolactin, the hormone that, among other things, regulates the immune system, sleeping in the same bed can lead to a contented night’s sleep.

The fact that it also boosts norepinephrine and vasopressin, that regulate and increase sleep quality respectively, is another big win.

Man and woman in bed together. (Getty Images)
It seems sharing a bed with your partner outweighs the negatives... would you agree? (Getty Images)

In 2010, meanwhile, Wendy Troxall, an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry and Psychology at the University of Pittsburgh conducted a study examining the effect of marriage or co-habiting on sleep and found that those women who described themselves as being in happy, stable relationships not only fell asleep faster than their single counterparts but also enjoyed better quality sleep throughout the night.

The results of Troxall’s research reinforced existing theories that sleeping in the same bed as your partner did, for the most part, increase the likelihood of a better night’s rest.

Researchers at the University of California, for example, carried out an experiment examining sleep quality, where they asked 59 women to keep a diary of all the intimate moments they shared with their partners in bed during a specific period.

During the process they also had their blood pressure and their oxytocin levels measured with the results showing that those with the highest levels of oxytocin also had the lowest and healthiest blood pressure. In short, they were at a lower risk of developing serious cardio-vascular diseases.

Read more: 20 fascinating facts about sleep

Two women in bed together. (Getty Images)
The way you sleep in bed with your partner can have a positive impact on the way you feel, and bring you closer together. (Getty Images)

But it’s not just sharing a bed. Even the way you sleep in relation to your partner can impact your relationship. It's thought that skin-on-skin contact helps to prevent your adrenal glands from producing cortisol, thereby reducing anxiety, one of the biggest blocks to a sound night’s sleep.

In 2014, Professor Richard Wiseman, a psychologist at the University of Hertfordshire, conducted a study of 1,000 people in a bid to determine what effect their sleeping positions had on their relationships. He found that couples who maintained a physical connection with each other during sleep were more content than those who didn’t.

“94% of couples who spent the night in contact with one another were happy with their relationship, compared to just 68% of those that didn't touch," he concluded. “The closer the couple spent the night, the better their relationship, with 86% of those who slept less than a centimetre apart from their partner being happy with their relationship, compared to only 66% of those who slept more than 75 centimetres apart.”

It’s proof, perhaps, that unlike Tom and Katie or Helena and Tim, it’s those couples who sleep together that are more likely to stay together. Now if we can just do something about that snoring…

Watch: What your sleeping position reveals about you