How being a single parent affects mental health, as Geri Horner admits she was 'lonely'
Geri Horner (nee Halliwell) has said that her experience as a single parent to daughter Bluebell was ‘lonely’.
The Spice Girl, 51, shared Bluebell, 17 with her ex-partner Sacha Gervasi. She went on to marry Christian Horner in 2015 and they have a six-year-old son together called Monty.
Speaking on Giovanna Fletcher’s Happy Mum, Happy Baby podcast, Horner compared the experience of raising Bluebell by herself to raising Monty with a partner.
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"Being a single parent, mother you don't have to answer to anyone, but it's all on you," Horner explains. "And that can be quite stressful and you have to be responsible. All the responsibilities are on you in every way.
"Broad shoulders are needed and sometimes it's lonely. So I've experienced that. And then, you know, having the blessing of having a lovely husband or partner, which I've experienced. That's amazing.
"So it's not all on you, but then you've got to compromise, we might have, you know, we're all different in the way we think things should be done. So learning to be a team, which has been a challenge for me."
It’s common for single parents to feel lonely
Horner is not the only single parent to encounter feelings of loneliness. A recent report from One Parent Families Scotland found that a third of the 900 single parents it surveyed said they were lonely ‘most’ or ‘all’ of the time.
Over half (58%) of those who felt loneliness said that they experienced social loneliness ‘intensely’, while 42% also felt emotional loneliness intensely.
"It's a layered loneliness," psychologist Barbara Santini explains. "It's not just about missing adult company, it's about yearning for someone who understands the nuances of your child's laughter or the weight of their tears.
"It's about wanting a sounding board, a co-decision maker. Emotional fatigue might set in, where even the idea of explaining things to someone feels tiring."
Double the mental load
Another compounding factor on a single parent's mental health is the extra mental load they need to take on, which Santini says isn’t just doubled but is “exponentially heavier” due to the convergence of roles without respite.
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"The unending loop of tasks, decisions, and emotions can be draining," she says.
Santini adds that the cocktail of balancing daily tasks with the emotional needs of children when parenting on your own can "erode mental reserves".
"The brain is in a perpetual state of hyper-awareness, ready to manage any potential challenges that arise," she adds. "Over time, this heightened alertness can strain mental health, leading to issues such as chronic fatigue, anxiety disorders, and depressive episodes."
How to look after your mental health as a single parent
Santini says one thing single parents can do is to actively seek out meaningful and in-depth conversations with their loved ones, be it friends or family.
"Surface-level chats might feel unsatisfying. Actively seek out meaningful conversations," she says.
If you don’t have people you are close enough for in-depth chats to, Santini recommends going on a solo parenting retreat to meet like-minded parents and form bonds this way, or engaging in group therapies to make more emotional connections.
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Something such as journaling, or a form of intense reflection can help too.
"Journalling is a way to communicate feelings without needing a response. It offers a form of release," Santini says.
"Regularly set aside time to deeply reflect on emotions, challenges, and aspirations.
"Every single parent's experience is unique, but there's a shared depth of emotion and challenge. It's essential to recognise this depth, address it, and find pathways that offer genuine solace and strength."
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