Single Dad Excited After Buying a New House. Now His Girlfriend of 4 Months Is Mad He Didn’t Consult Her First

A conflicted Reddit user is struggling with his decision to purchase a home without taking into consideration his new girlfriend's opinion — and wondering if he did the right thing.

The user, a single dad who goes by the name Swimming-Age-2944 on the website,posted in the popular AITA (which stands for "Am I the A------?") forum that he’s been looking for a home for over a year for himself and his two sons. The user said he bought the home they’ve been living in when his children were little and he has since grown unhappy with its location.

“I absolutely hate living where I am living,” the user wrote. “My work is 30 minutes away and the boys' school is 45 minutes away.”

The dad said he finally came across a listing that was seemingly perfect for him and his boys.

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“A house came on the market in a neighborhood five minutes from work and 10-15 minutes from the boys' school, and was listed well below market value,” he said. “My realtor called me, I saw it that same day, and made an offer. The offer was accepted.”

That's when an issue arose. The original poster said that before purchasing the home, he began dating a new woman in February 2024. He described the relationship as both casual and non-exclusive until September, when he wrote that things became more serious. In those four months, the topic of starting a family was discussed, the user wrote.

“My GF has indicated that she wants to have kids, she has no kids currently,” he said. “I am definitely open to that, but have told her only after dating at least a couple of years.”

So when he broke the “good news” about the home purchase to his girlfriend, the original poster said she didn’t share in his excitement.

“She was less than thrilled. She asked why I did not 'consult' her,” the user continued.

The dad shared how difficult it’s been for him to find an available home given the current real estate market, and said he felt a sense of urgency to make an offer.

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“I had to move quickly. I explained all this, but she is still upset,” the user wrote about trying to explain the situation to his girlfriend.

He said his sister offered some perspective on what might be going through the girlfriend's mind: "My GF is thinking that this is the home her kids are potentially going to be raised in,” the user wrote. “I can see that, but I feel that it is a little premature to expect I will consult my GF of 4 months before buying a home. That is moving a little too fast from my perspective.”

The original poster also hopped into the comment section to affirm that his girlfriend "knew" he had been looking at houses for over a year, and had even accompanied him to view some of them.

In the comments, users generally affirmed the original poster's decision to buy the home for himself and kids — without his partner's input.

“You’ve only been exclusive since September, sure she might be imagining a life with you but doesn’t mean she has a say in your housing now,” wrote one user.

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“As a single dad, your primary responsibility is to your children,” said another AITA commenter. “You have the right to make choices that prioritize your and your kids' well-being."

Yet another user commented, “It’s too soon in the relationship for her to force an opinion on a house you bought with your money, regardless of her biological clock.”

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