Shia LaBeouf was 'suicidal' before finding faith

·2-min read
Shia LaBeouf has turned to religion credit:Bang Showbiz
Shia LaBeouf has turned to religion credit:Bang Showbiz

Shia LaBeouf was suicidal before turning to God.

The 'Transformers' actor studied Catholicism while preparing for his upcoming movie 'Padre Pio' - which is about the saint of the same name - and admitted it came at a time when he was overwhelmed with "shame" after being accused of sexual battery by ex-girlfriend FKA twigs in 2020, resulting in him checking into rehab and parting ways with his agents.

Speaking to Bishop Robert Barron of the Word on Fire Catholic Ministries, he said: "I had a gun on the table. I was outta here. I didn't want to be alive anymore when all this happened. Shame like I had never experienced before — the kind of shame that you forget how to breathe. You don't know where to go. You can't go outside and get like, a taco.

"But I was also in this deep desire to hold on."

The 36-year-old star's research gave him "hope" that he could get back on the right path.

He added: "It was seeing other people who have sinned beyond anything I could ever conceptualise also being found in Christ that made me feel like, 'Oh, that gives me hope.'

"I started hearing experiences of other depraved people who had found their way — in this — and it made me feel like I had permission..."

Shia felt drawn to a more spiritual life and explored various traditions to see which felt the best, including living in a monastery alongside Franciscan Capuchin friars.

He said: "I know now that God was using my ego to draw me to Him. Drawing me away from worldly desires. It was all happening simultaneously. But there would have been no impetus for me to get in my car, drive up [to the monastery] if I didn't think, 'Oh, I'm gonna save my career.' "

And the 'Honey Boy' actor explained Catholicism appealed to him because it "requires full immersion".

Discussing his working process after being asked if he considers himself a method actor, he said: "I don't identify with that school of thought, really.

"I feel a whole lot, I've got a big heart. I don't know if I'm a method guy — and I think some of that stuff is ridiculous.

"I like to be immersive. I like all immersive experiences, not just acting. That's probably why I like Catholicism as well. I like adventure, and that requires full immersion.

"I would consider myself an immersive actor, but method acting has like a bad smell to it. Kind of douchey, kind of, just like, mean."