Praise kinks and outercourse: 7 sex trends to watch out for in 2023
Looking to spice up your sex life and feel more sexually empowered in 2023?
Well, there's good news on both counts as sexual wellness is going to be the bedroom buzzword du jour this year.
According to the sexperts, 2023 will see a continued shift in attitude toward being more flexible and open-minded when it comes to our sex lives.
Those in the know believe this new sexual liberation will be reflected through normalising certain sexual acts, desires and attitudes that have previously gone unnoticed or unspoken about.
Keen to find out more about how this new found freedom could impact your love life? We spoke to sexual wellness brand LELO and its in-house sex and relationships expert, Kate Moyle, to break down the biggest sex trends of the year.
Sexual Mindfulness
While we all know about the benefits of mindfulness when it comes to our mental health, psychosexual therapists believe the technique can also help to boost our sex lives by intentionally focusing on the sensations in the body and directing attention towards sensuality.
"Modern life is stressful and busy, and importantly, distracting – something that often negatively affects our sex lives," explains Moyle.
And it seems that people are catching on to the plus points with 2022 seeing the launch of Headspace's Women's Collection including mindful exercises and content to focus on sexual wellbeing and desire, whilst apps like Ferly are helping thousands of women with audio-guided mindful content that's especially helpful for those who don't know where to start.
"Our mindset plays a big part in our sexual experiences and so getting our minds and thoughts on our side can really help us to tune into our desire, arousal and pleasure," Moyle adds.
Read more: Sex coach shocks Holly and Phil by claiming she can orgasm ‘on demand’
Outercourse
Since 40-60% of women masturbate, and only 18% of women can orgasm from penetrative sex, it’s no wonder we are seeing a surge of non-penetrative practices.
"Touching, kissing, teasing and rubbing all form part of 'outercourse' and are an essential form of pleasure and sexual wellness," explains Moyle.
"Indeed, 45% of Brits find it easier to reach orgasm if they have engaged in outercourse; 56% of them see it as an important part of their sexual experience."
Moyle says that a greater focus on exploration of the erogenous zones emphasises the pleasure and play in sex, expanding the focus past penetration.
"What’s more, moving away from penetration is the perfect opportunity to explore the sensations on the clitoris," she adds.
Watch: Sex coach can 'orgasm on demand' - using only her mind
Mutual Masturbation
While traditional sex with your partner is a tried and true form of intimacy, there’s something salaciously hot about the “look but don’t touch” aspect of mutual masturbation.
"Grab a toy for yourself and have your partner use a sex toy of their own while you both enjoy the show – and sensations," advises Moyle. "Try facing each other, either standing or kneeling, as you pleasure yourselves; not only does this stance provide the best visual opportunities, but you’ll also be in the perfect position for mid-masturbation smooches.
"Listening to each other panting and moaning as you reach an orgasm will intensify the entire experience and deepen the connection," she adds.
Read more: Eight ways to know you’ve just had an orgasm
Pelvic Floor
While you may think of your pelvic floor as something you need to work on after childbirth or as you get older, it is just as vital while being sexually active, as it can be consciously controlled and used for pleasure.
And it isn't just women who should pay attention to their pelvic floor, Moyle says both genders should give it consideration.
"Practice both relaxing and tensing your pelvic floor," she advises. "People with a fundamentally high level of body tension, who may also often clench their jaw or are used to pain in the area of the eyebrows and lower back, can really benefit from relaxing the pelvic floor. For others, it’s simply another avenue to increase pleasure."
Specifically, during sex, the movement of the pelvis, in combination with the tensing and relaxing of the pelvic floor, can increase arousal and powerfully support the path to orgasm.
"You have a clear advantage if you already know your pelvic floor and can use it without thinking too much," Moyle continues.
"If not, there is always time to practice during foreplay or solo play; and build longer, stronger orgasms."
Squeezy is an app, recommended by the NHS, helping thousands regain confidence in their pelvic floor through pre-set, guided plans to help people through the exercises.
Anal Masturbation
As we now know 2023 is going to be all about self-love and self-exploration, so it’s no surprise that exploring all areas of the body is becoming more accepted.
"When thinking about masturbation, vagina-owners typically consider the clitoris or the vagina," explains Moyles. "But this year is about expanding the horizons and trying new, more outside of the box techniques."
According to Moyle there are many ways to explore this new arena of pleasure. "Beginners already have the tools on hand (literally), as using a lubricated finger is a great way to begin practising," she says.
"Once more comfortable, using sex toys for anal masturbation is the next step – something that we’ll be seeing a lot more of this year."
Read more: The 11 different types of female climax - and how to achieve them
Praise Kinks
It’s common to blush when getting a compliment, but what if you experience a physical response in other areas of your body? Praise kinks are set to be a growing trend for the rest of the year, and already have over 510 million views on TikTok under the hashtag #praisek1nk.
The kink encompasses being turned on by compliments, affirmation and general praise, before or during sex.
"As much as most people love receiving compliments, someone with a praise kink will be sexually aroused by them," explains Moyle. "Common phrases used amongst those with praise kinks include 'your [insert body part] is perfect', and 'I love it when you [insert sexual activity]'."
Upgraded Missionary
In a year of new kinks, sexual practices and relationship styles, whatever happened to good old missionary? Turns out, not too much. People are still keen as ever for the long-time favourite, with searches for “missionary” having increased by 22% over the past year.
Of course, everything old can be made new again, and classic sex positions are no exception.
"To take missionary into 2023, there are opportunities to be more mindful while in the position; making intentional eye contact with your partner, focusing on all the erogenous zones, and synchronising breathing together to take things into tantric territory," advises Moyle.
"Partners can also use the position as an opportunity to explore power play or incorporate new sex toys," she adds.
Some sex toy shipping inspiration
Wild Weekend Mega Couple's Sex Toy Kit | £39.99 (Was £79.99) from Love Honey
Tiani 3 Deep Rose | £111 (Was £139) from Lelo
Sona Cruise Cerise | £99 from Lelo
