People Are Revealing How Their Relationships With Their In-Laws Have Transformed, And It's Juicy
Recently, I asked the BuzzFeed Community: If your in-laws disliked you at first, what's your relationship with them like now? Some people said they're getting along so much better than they were before. Others said their relationship with their in-laws is still a work in progress.
Here are all their stories:
Some entries have been edited for length and clarity.
1."My SO was slightly older when we met and got engaged. His family was so used to having him be single and easy to force into their plans. So needless to say, my sudden appearance (and subsequent engagement and wedding) was inconvenient for them. We started at all the small things, little jabs about my housekeeping skills, cooking, clothing, makeup, money management, etc. Now, several years later, the little jabs are less frequent, but still very much there. We have actually graduated to nudges about my job, babies, and car choice. It's never big enough or serious enough to cause a scene, but I have literally never felt at ease."
2."Well, my in-laws were unsure of me when I first married my wife because I'm not an Irish-Catholic living in Chicago, but now, years later, they are still unsure of me because I'm not an Irish-Catholic living in Chicago."
3."When I first got with my now-husband, I didn't meet my 'monster in law' until a year into our relationship. His parents have been divorced for his entire life. Up until the second year, we got along great! One day, we were talking about how hard it was for me growing up on welfare while my mom went back to school when my MIL started talking crap about her. I told her, 'She did the best she could with what she had.' She told my husband, 'That's the day she lost her mind.' She had friends and family members that she suckered into paying for a lot of stuff (vacations, cars, etc.), so we grew up differently. I think a lot of it was fueled by her alcoholism because she talked badly about me 'til the day she passed away."
"She tried to talk my husband into divorcing me, and when we told her we were pregnant, she only said 'Oh,' because that meant I'd always be in the picture, and she wouldn't be able to get my hubby to give her money easily. She was a nightmare to me, to say the least!"
4."Oh boy. My in-laws were very 'protective' at the start. When my husband and I met, he had only been single for a month, he was depressed, and it was his first real relationship. I gave him time to heal and be his friend (even though I knew the moment we met he'd be my husband) before expressing how I felt. Well, let me tell you, I met his dad and stepmom the first week we became officially boyfriend and girlfriend. I was feeling very confident about everything. Well, what my husband (then-boyfriend) told me on our way to their town was that his stepmom had been very close with his previous girlfriend. We spent about five days at their place, and the whole time, they were standoffish. It was hard to make conversation and just so awkward!"
"Every time we began to visit with them, I had extreme anxiety, and he would tell me that everything would be good in time. Well, after six months of dating, we knew we wanted to get married. He expressed this to his parents, and they screamed at him.
They told him you have to know someone for two years before knowing if you even love them. My husband didn't have it and said it would be happening either way (one of the hottest things he has done for me). A week or so later, his stepmom sent him the nastiest texts about me in detailed paragraphs about how I was going to ruin his entire life and that I was the biggest mistake he'd ever make. Turns out she was drunk when she sent those. To top it, on the day we got engaged, she told him, 'Get ready to ruin the rest of your life.'
As we have been married, we have beat the odds and their remarks, and his dad loves me now. We recently went on a family vacay that made things a bit better between me and his stepmom. Now, his brother has met his match, and they are ever so loving and kind to her. Through processing and discussions with my husband, I think they learned that they can't control their kids once they become adults. My husband and I are hopelessly in love and grow stronger each day."
5."My in-laws were 'unsure' of me when my husband and I started dating. He'd left an abusive relationship and been slightly alienated from them. Obviously, they disliked his ex, but she was really manipulative, so when she contacted them and said she'd heard he was seeing me, that he'd had a nervous breakdown, and that I'd been stalking him and forced him into a relationship (all obviously untrue 😂), they clearly weren't sure what to think. Thankfully, eventually, they met me and loved me, and now, 13 years later, my husband is closer to his folks than ever, and my MIL is my surrogate mum after mine passed away."
6."My in-laws very much tolerate me. I’m the mother of their grandchildren, and they like me okay, but they do not love me nor are they happy my husband chose me. They would have loved it if he married a blond, blue-eyed, churchgoing, PTA member, wine-sipping book club member-type girl that was, like, a dental hygienist or something."
"Instead, he married the emo tattooed girl who's none of those things and whose chronic illness prevents her from working, so she is a traditional stay-at-home mom and wife (which they hate). After 18 years, we all get along, but they don't hesitate to point out my flaws when they want, say things, or dig at me when they feel it's necessary. They tolerate me, but if he wanted to leave, they'd be all for it!"
7."Very good now. They’re both dead."
8."My MIL and I have wildly different personalities. She is quite artistic and free-spirited, whereas I am usually grounded and practical. We always seemed to clash, although we never had an outright verbal argument. Things were just always tense between us."
"When my kids were very young, I decided on a trip to see her (just my two children and I - my husband/her son did not come), and instead of hoping she would engage with us (which she never really did), I would simply tell her our plans and invite her to join us as she was able. She joined us for a few things during that week. She seemed more at ease, and I was definitely less uptight. From that point forward, I realized she didn’t intend to hurt me by not participating in activities with my kids - she just had limited capacity for those types of activities. Since then, we have become very close, and we truly admire, respect, and love each other. She is honestly one of my biggest cheerleaders now, and I absolutely adore her."
9."Half of them like me, and the other half think I'm stuck up. I'm totally fine with both assessments. 🤷🏾♀️"
What's your relationship with your in-laws like? Tell us in the comments below.
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, you can call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) and find more resources here.
