"You Are Actively Harming Your Child's Well-Being": Teachers Are Sharing The Hard Truths That Every Single Parent Today Needs To Hear
Being a teacher these days is undoubtedly one of the most challenging and exhausting professions. Between being severely underpaid and overworked, teachers are choosing to leave their jobs at an alarming rate. Recently, redditor u/Holdtheline2192 asked teachers of the r/Teachers community to share one truth they wish they could tell American parents today with no repercussions. Here are some of the opinions they shared below.
1."Please read to your kids. Take them to the library. Sign them up for summer reading programs. Give them books instead of tablets. Help them find material that is suited to their interests. Remedial reading programs can help, but a lack of home support for developing literacy is the root of the problem."
2."Your 8-year-old shouldn't be on TikTok unmonitored or at all."
"My ex's little sister was this exact child. She could navigate TikTok like no other. But if you asked her to read, write, or count past 10, she couldn't do any of it. And my ex's mother saw no issue with that at 8 years old."
3."You didn't just have a 'baby.' You are raising a future adult who will need to be self-sufficient, responsible, polite, tolerant, and caring. Stop babying your kids! Teach them how to tie their shoes and that they aren't always right or in charge!"
4."Your kid is lying to you."
"I have had kids who bragged to me about how they lie to their parents and get away with it because their parents always believe them. And then they act shocked when their teachers don't fall for their BS and call them out on it. They also act shocked when I don't believe their BS despite the fact that they have bragged to my face about how they frequently and casually lie.
I've brought this up to them before. They just stare at me and have nothing to say. It's mind-boggling. I lied sometimes as a kid. We all did. But I don't recall any of us being this blatant and dumb about it."
5."We can't fix your failures as a parent."
"We can't undo the fact that you didn't say 'no' to your child for the first seven years of their life."
6."Just because I'm a professional doesn't mean you can scream at me."
7."You're the parent. Being a parent means you make the hard decisions. An elementary school child does not need the responsibility of deciding what to eat — you provide healthy food. They don't need the responsibility of deciding what to study — you sit down with them and help them learn. They don't need to decide if they take their medicine — you make that decision. You decide bedtime. You decide on screen time. Children cannot make these choices yet because they are children. They need the responsibility of deciding on broccoli or peas, bikes or the park, which book to read together, and which shirt to wear. So many parents seem to think 'gentle parenting' means letting them make all the choices, and it just isn't. Grown-ups have to be grown-ups and do the hard things so kids can be healthy and safe."
8."Please teach your kids basic manners and etiquette. The fact that I have to teach 14-year-olds about simple 'please,' 'thank you' is mind-boggling."
9."It's pay now or pay later when it comes to disciplining your kids. By the time you figure that out, they won't be in school anymore."
"I'm watching my parents face this now with my adult brother. My mom's a teacher and a pretty good one from my perspective, but she lacks boundaries and discipline with my brother. I (the oldest) have been telling my parents since I was a literal child that they should actually discipline him, and they would just shush me.
Now, he's in his mid-twenties, doesn't work, and is fully supported by them, among other issues. My mom is always stressed because of him but only vents to other people about it instead of actually being a little strict with him."
10."You were likely not parented well, and now the cycle is continuing with you not parenting your child appropriately. It's going to take some serious effort to correct this. It will not be fun, but it will be worth it for both of you (and our society)."
11."Stop doing your kid's work for them. It helps no one."
"I have students who will purposefully not finish work in class so they can bring it home. Then their parents do it for them. These same parents are then shocked when the kid is failing. Tests are worth more, and they can't pass the test!"
12."We are employees, and much of what we do is dictated to us. If you don't think Starbucks should put iced coffee in plastic cups because it's bad for the environment, don't yell at the barista. (And don't go on social media to tell everyone what a moron she is.) Parents often assume teachers have more power than we actually do."
"In the other way, I've tried to get so many kids intervention and special education help through the tier system that gets completely denied unless parents advocate. Unfortunately, we teachers have very little say and power over what's best for our students. I wish parents knew how much power they held to help their children who might be struggling."
13."Your kid needs to see an addiction specialist. They can't put the screens away."
"At this point, I agree with the Surgeon General. Put the damn warning labels on social media. Hell, let's go one step further: Make it straight-up illegal for a person under 16 to possess an iPad, tablet, etc. Treat buying a phone for your 8-year-old the same as buying alcohol for a minor."
14."Stop trying to be friends with your kids. You can be 'friendly' to your kids; minors don't have to be treated like transactional trash, which was (arguably) a prevalent parenting style with a disproportionate number of parents in years gone by. However, kids need structure and boundaries, so firm but fair is acceptable. Hold them accountable and set the bar high."
"Make kids accept responsibility for their mistakes and stop blaming everyone else or displacing blame when it squarely lies on them for making poor choices.
Read to them and with them at young ages. Instill in them a love of learning. Please give them a loving and supportive home environment and leave your toxic trauma out of their domain."
15."You are actively harming your child's well-being and development by not getting them the help and support that all of us educators, counselors, psychs, etc., are begging you to get. You may think your 10-year-old is using the Internet responsibly, but I promise you, they are not. I have yet to meet a single parent who understands Discord, game/streaming chats, etc. You have no idea what your kid is doing online."
16."I cannot teach at school what you don't encourage at home. If you expect to send your child to school in order for them to 'be a better person,' yet you mistreat them at home, then you get what you give. I can't teach a student whose parent doesn't value their kid or their kid's education. If your kid fails my class, don't get mad at me when YOU'VE been telling them, '[insert subject here] doesn't matter.' I'm not fighting the apathy that YOU, AS A PARENT, put in your kid's head. My 'passion' won't compete with it."
17."Tell your kids 'no,' and tell them often. No, they don't need a 'yes' day. No, it will not traumatize them. Tell them 'no,' and get them used to it — NOW, like, right now!"
18."Society has failed families, and the teachers and the education system are the only ones still trying to put up a fight. We're tired. Be nicer to us."
If you're a teacher, what's one hard truth you think parents today need to hear? Comment below or fill out this anonymous form.
Note: Some responses may have been edited for length/clarity.
