People Are Sharing Stories About The Goofiest Ways They've Accidentally Hurt Themselves, And I'm Sorry For Laughing
We recently shared stories from BuzzFeed Community members who have accidentally injured themselves in extremely silly, random ways. We received even more replies from our readers that we just had to share.
Please note that some of these stories contain descriptions that may be disturbing. If you're squeamish, proceed with caution!
1."I ran into a glass door at the office while angrily texting someone. I slashed my eyebrow, and it was bleeding really heavily all over my face and shirt. While I was waiting for an ambulance at the reception, my boss arrived with some big partners. For whatever reason, I tried to hide behind the see-through divider when I spotted them. They looked really confused. Turned out I had a pretty nasty concussion and needed eight stitches."
2."I was at the doctor's office. I stood up in the waiting room when they called my name, got my foot caught on the chair leg, and fell, hitting my forehead on the door frame. At least I was at the doctor's office. No concussion, but I did have a black eye for a few weeks."
—Anonymous
3."I opened a car door into my own face because I was looking at the stars while opening the door and ended up needing stitches because my eyelid split."
—Anonymous
4."I tripped over a pinecone and smashed my knees into my concrete walkway a couple of summers ago. I've got a lovely, heart-shaped scar on my right knee now. Pinecones are dangerous."
5."I ran outside with a Christmas tip for my refuse collector only to be smashed on the head as the trashcan came down via the mechanized arm. I avoided a trip to the ER, but it proves the old adage: 'No good deed goes unpunished.'"
6."Not me, but my daughter. She was about 13, and I had just finished mowing the yard and raking the trimmings. My son left the hoe in the grass, and she walked across the yard and stepped on the blade edge of the hoe. The handle came straight up and smacked the dead center of her face. It was like a cartoon; I laughed so hard. She didn't speak to me for three days."
—Anonymous
7."I fell on some stairs, not down the stairs. I was wearing dress socks, and my feet slipped out from under me, but I kept hold of the railing. Big bruises on my back. I'd had a glass of wine, so all my friends still talk about the time I got drunk and fell down the stairs."
8."I was partially bent over while brushing my teeth over the bathroom sink, getting ready to spit/rinse when my back went out. I threw my back out while brushing my teeth. I had to go on muscle relaxers and lay flat on the floor for weeks until it improved."
9."I was carrying a heavy bowl of pho up the stairs with one hand, and it bent my pinky back. Dislocated it!"
10."My brother's giant bean bag chair was at the bottom of the stairs. I thought jumping down the stairs and landing on the bean bag would be great fun. I hit the ceiling over the stairs and fell down, one step away from the bean bag. I still wish I had it on video."
11."I went to hang my purse over the passenger headrest, pulled several muscles (apparently), and lived with a frozen shoulder for nearly a year. I couldn't even put my bra on normally. The therapist said it was a common postal worker injury."
12."When I was in high school, I bent over to tie my shoe, lost my balance, and stepped on and broke my pinky finger. Also, when I was in high school, I was putting away groceries. There was a folded-up paper bag on the floor. I tried to step over it, but I tripped and sprained my wrist. They still mock me for being the only person they know who can trip over a folded-up paper bag."
—Anonymous
13."I tried to go to work one magical December morning and had to drive my husband's lifted Jeep with a push button ignition starter. I started said Jeep, and it immediately began moving forward without me in it. I tried to stop it while hanging onto the steering wheel and running along the outside, but it just kept accelerating. Gravity took over, and I collided with the asphalt. One of the tires squished my upper leg. I got a concussion, blunt force trauma with internal bleeding on my leg, a broken finger, and lots of bruising. The vehicle finally stopped on the opposite side of our street after crashing into our neighbor's truck parked on the street. That's one way to get out going to work for a bit!"
14."I was playing foosball at summer camp. I did a fast spin on the handle. My hand flew off said handle, and I jammed my thumbnail into my eye. Had to wear an eye patch for the rest of the week."
15."I was in Istanbul with my boyfriend, and we bought at least five huge bottles of Reki (basically 80-proof delicious liquor, highly recommend). We were walking these home to somehow jam in our overstuffed suitcases to take home for the holidays as presents. Well, it was dark out, and we were returning to our hotel about a minute away. I got distracted by this lighting store and fell face-first into a pothole. Pothole isn't even the right word for it. It was more like a three-foot-deep trench from removing cobblestones. It was BIG. We had walked past, around, and driven over this thing for days. It's not like I didn't know it was there. Luckily, I had so many layers on that I didn't get seriously injured, but not one bottle survived. I landed on top of them."
"My boyfriend and some poor couple from the bed and breakfast across the street were horrified and hauled me out of the disastrous mess. All I ended up with was a bump on my knee and some cuts on my hand. I still think I have some glass in there to this day. My poor boyfriend was just looking at me like, 'How the hell did you even manage that?' TALENT! But also luckily, he's an ER doctor, so he picked out some glass and said I didn't need stitches. And the alcohol had disinfected the cuts! It was our last night, but I insisted on returning to the store to get more Reki for presents.
You can imagine the owner's surprise when we showed up five minutes after first leaving (me dusty and still bleeding) and purchased five or six more bottles. He didn't speak English, so it was hard to explain."
16."The night before I started a new job where I had to be on my feet all day, I was chasing after baby chickens to separate them from the full-grown chickens. My left shin hit a stump sticking out of the ground, and I had to get 23 stitches to close it up. I never missed a minute of the new job!"
—Anonymous
17."I was 40 years old and broke my toe when it caught on my pants cuff while I was running to catch a train (I did catch the train.) I've actually lost count of how many times I've broken toes. A couple of them no longer bend properly."
18."I used a not-so-sharp can opener to open a giant can of chocolate pudding (I worked at a daycare). The lid was stuck a tad, so I shoved my finger down onto the lid, thinking it would remove the last bit of the lid. My finger got stuck in between the lid and the can. I had to get five stitches. Years later, I was opening a can of green beans at home. I did it again. I got four stitches that time. I no longer use a hand-held can opener."
—Anonymous
19."I was talking to my mom and sister about my soon-to-be ex-brother-in-law, and I said I would flick him right in the face, did the flicking motion, and SNAP! I ended up tearing my middle finger tendon off my knuckle, which required surgery."
—Anonymous
20."I had a bag of trash I had tied up but left sitting in the kitchen by the sink because it was dark out, and I wasn't feeling up for a nighttime trip to the trash can. I went to fill up a water bottle, and when I stepped back from the sink, I lost my balance, and my foot landed on a pull-back can lid in the bag. Instead of a late-night trip to the trash can, I had to make a late-night trip to the E.R. for stitches."
21."I herniated a disc cleaning a toilet. I sprained my ankle my first time in Manhattan because I was looking at all the sights while crossing the street and stepped in a pothole. And I married a man who's clumsier than me. In six weeks, while we were getting our house ready to put on the market, he fell down the stairs and put his elbow through the wall, ran up the stairs (and took the corner too fast), broke his toe on some bathroom tile sitting in the hallway, and was horsing around with his son going up the stairs and ended up with a black eye."
22."When I was a kid, I ran into the bathroom because I had to go bad. I slipped on a bathroom rug, fell, hit my chin on the toilet seat, and had to have several stitches! I have a scar to this day."
—Anonymous
23."I was reading in bed and on my side so I could have the light (it was way past my bedtime). Naturally, I was leaning my head towards my right shoulder. The next morning, I woke up with huge pain and unable to move my shoulder down; I ended up having to wear a sling for a week and couldn't practice for two weeks."
—Anonymous
24."I broke two separate toes on two separate occasions on the SAME cat scratcher. It is carpeted, so it really doesn't move when placed on other carpeted surfaces. The first time, I just found out I had gotten into a half marathon, popped up to celebrate, and walked right into the cat scratcher, breaking my baby toe (all healed by the race, though!). Then, seven months later, I was on a work call, not paying attention to where I was walking, and the fourth toe on the same foot caught on the scratcher as I was walking by, and that one broke, too. Clearly, my cats are spoiled because I still don't have the heart to get rid of the scratcher they love so much, but it now lives tucked away in the corner."
—Anonymous
25."I tripped over a chair in front of my class of 2-year-olds while putting our classroom backpack away in the closet after coming in from outside. My left foot bumped the chair while my right foot got tangled in the rope I was putting away. I went down hard on a linoleum floor, bumping my right knee. I had a large bruise for a few days but was otherwise fine. My ego was sprained as I heard, 'Miss Dani, you fell. Watch where you’re going!'"
—Anonymous
26."Our emergency room thought my family was hilarious. While children, my brother had one of those push-down-on-the-top spinning tops and got it going so fast it became airborne. It hit him in the eye. He needed three stitches. Once, my dad was working in the backyard, chopping down a tree, and dislocated his shoulder so badly that he needed surgery to put everything back together. My mom twisted her ankle by stepping on a hand trowel in the grass. It wouldn't heal, and she ended up at the ER getting a cast for the broken bone. I had a new huge blow-up dinosaur that was almost as big as me. I played with it, went to dinner, returned, and threw myself onto its back. The front legs buckled, and I went, head over heels, into the wall. I got a concussion and five stitches in my right temple. All of this happened in three months."
—Anonymous
27."I was holding a knife over a flame to warm it to butter bread, and without thinking, I wiped the knife across my bum to clear crumbs and essentially branded myself. It's still there years later."
28."I was in college and had to attend an event early on a Saturday morning. The cafeteria was not open yet, so I decided to have Spaghettios for breakfast because that was all I had to eat. I was opening the can and didn't look as I was doing so. I sliced my thumb on the metal edge, and it started gushing blood. I had to go and get stitches and still have a scar six years later."
—Anonymous
29."I fractured my shin on the coffee table while playing the Wii. I have a dent in my shin to this day. That was about 15 years ago."
—Anonymous
30."I've had NUMEROUS accidental injuries in my life, but the one that has stuck in everyone's mind (and I still get teased about) is breaking my foot when I opened the dishwasher door. The door got stuck. I pulled, and as it opened, I let it go. At that precise moment, the door hinges decided to let go and bam! Broken foot."
—Anonymous
31.And: "I was in Peru, and after a few glasses of wine and feeling the elevation, we decided to continue to a bar. The bar had a fireman's pole that I decided to slide down. I broke the lower half of my right leg. Two surgeries, external screws, countless stitches, and one metal plate later, I still get sore when the weather is bad."
—Anonymous
Have you ever accidentally gotten hurt in a really ridiculous way? Tell us your story in the comments or share anonymously using this form.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
