People Are Sharing The Reasons Why They're Still Single, And I'm Genuinely Curious If You Can Relate

A little while back, I wrote up a viral Reddit thread sharing why people were still single — from being heartbroken and independent to inexperienced and more. The responses were so relatable they inspired even more responses from the BuzzFeed Community. Here are a few that show that a lot of us are dealing with the same experiences.

1."I'm single because every time I do date someone, they choose someone else, and I am tired of thinking that I found them, and then they choose someone else, and I'm tired of being used."

2."The men my age I am attracted to are not looking for a strong, intelligent, independent, self-confident, relatively attractive 60-year-old. They want a young, malleable woman without enough life experience to challenge their ego and 'needs' them. I want to be with someone I 'love and want' to be with, not because I 'need' to be with them."

—Anonymous

3."Why am I single? I'm funny, smart, sweet, amazing — I keep getting told. In reality, I'm just a time filler, someone to keep dudes' ego boosted until they move on to someone else. It's cool, though. I started to recognize the pattern and what my role in it was. So I worked on myself and just watched everyone fade away. Just as well, I'm done dimming my light to make someone else feel brighter. If you can match my energy, sweet. If not...you aren't worth my time or attention."

4."My dog is much better company, accepts me as I am, and doesn’t stress me out."

—Anonymous

5."I have a young daughter, and I watch a lot of true crime. I'm not willing to ever have my daughter in a bad situation with someone I brought in. Also, I'm not willing to give up time with her to start dating. Relationships take a lot of time and work, and I would rather have that time with my baby."

6."I think it's because I’m autistic. Maintaining friendships is hard enough, while finding a romantic partner is impossible. More times than not, I have faced rejection from peers as I tend to be too clingy. When someone shows me basic kindness, it makes me feel safe and accepted, making me want to spend as much time as possible with them. Then I get dropped without reason. I want a romantic partner so I have someone I can do things with, as being by myself can be dangerous. I also want children, but with the disability pay gap, it may be hard to provide for even one kid on my own."

—Anonymous

7."It's hard for me to open up and accept that someone might have feelings for me. After seeing what my mom has been through with dating a narcissist, I don't want to risk being taken advantage of like that, either."

8."Those that I like just don’t like me back. No one seems to want to choose me."

—Anonymous

9."There isn’t anything wrong with being single. Being alone doesn’t mean one is lonely. I couldn’t imagine playing the dating field at this point in my life. It seems absolutely exhausting. And with the way the world and economy are, people are working themselves to death just to make ends meet. Student loan payments are sucking up everyone’s money; no one can afford to buy a home, and kids are out of the question for so many. How would anyone find the time to add the stress of finding a relationship on top of all that? I completely get when people say their home is their safe space and they don’t want anyone in it."

10."I have been in two long-term relationships in my life, and they both ended in lies and broken promises; one cheated. Never being able to figure out what I did to deserve that kind of treatment and not recognizing the character flaws in those partners before it went bad have made establishing trust and intimacy nearly impossible. I guess, in a nutshell, I find it easier to be alone. I’m grateful I’m not lonely."

—Anonymous

11."Perhaps it's different for younger people, but for 45+, it's a gender war. Plain and simple. The open hostility toward women from men who have had a sour divorce and yet want to get laid is astonishing."

12."No one ever wanted me that way, and the last guy I asked out (I texted because I was shy) texted back, 'LOL. You must be drunk.' Why even try after that?"

—Anonymous

13."I'm single mostly due to my mental health. I hate being single, but I know for a fact no one could stand my mental health issues in a relationship. I've been through so much trauma in my life that I'm honestly just a walking mental illness at this point, and it wouldn't be fair to a partner. I would just cause them to burn out, and I would probably traumatize them, too. It sucks to be totally alone, but it's for the better."

14."Any messes I clean up are mine alone; I have sole ownership of the remote when I watch television, and when I need/want it quiet, I turn it off, and I get the entire bed. I enjoy the solitude. I can’t understand people who feel they need another in their life to feel complete. I’m 65 and loving my life."

—Anonymous

15."In my case, I approach women often every week, but it has not worked for me. I dress well, communicate well, and have money and houses. Girls either ignore you, don't text back, or give you the runaround. They have zero intentions of getting to know you."

16."For starters, I am a 65-year-old widow and haven't been in a relationship since my mid-50s. I will not subject myself to the potential humiliation or safety issues of online dating, and I just don't go places that would create a 'meet cute.' I am still working in higher education, so the men in my life are young enough to be my grandsons! Men my age seem old to me, and since I feel closer in age to my adult daughters than a senior citizen, the attraction isn't there. I know that isn't fair, especially since women in my demographic are also overlooked and not considered romantic partners. I've done a great deal of healing and personal growth, and I'm open to a relationship, but if there is another partner in my future, he will have to be pretty great for me to allow into the carefully crafted life I've created for myself. It's been hard-fought, and I refuse to settle for someone who doesn't give at the same level I do."

—Anonymous

17."I want the freedom to be able to spend my weekends doing nothing, but watching YouTube in my dark room and just not think of anything. I also have the fear of having to integrate into another family, having expectations put on me by strangers, and the drama it entails. It's easier to be alone; life is already hard as it is."

18."I enjoy my own company and don’t feel like dealing with the minefield of men — men who practice strategic incompetence, mansplaining, and entitlement. They're exhausting. I am not your mother, therapist, or housekeeper. What can you offer me? A mess. That’s all. They don’t know how to have a back-and-forth conversation and have crazy expectations for women. I’ll just stay here with my books, go to the theater with friends, and do my cooking for myself, thanks. The only thing I need a man for is occasionally to open a jar of olives for me."

—Anonymous

19."Dating costs money and time. However, a relationship with someone who will live with you and share expenses is worth it. Just being able to split the rent and grocery bill is awesome. Getting started is always the hard part."

20."I realized I was putting so much time and effort into meeting either nice strangers but no chemistry, didn’t have their life together and wanted a mom more than a girlfriend, or they hated women. I realized I’d be better-served spending that time and effort in my friendships and relationships with my family. It’s been eight years, and I rarely regret that decision."

—Anonymous

21."I tried online dating, and it was trash. I don’t go out either, so unless I meet him pumping gas or at the grocery store, I am screwed."

22."Anxiety and low self-esteem. I'm very selective in the people I want to date because I fear ending up with the wrong person (see my parents' relationship for further details). Also, I still feel something for the last girl I dated, but she wants to be friends and has a weird situation with another ex of hers."

—Anonymous

23."I don't have the time nor the energy to devote to a houseplant, let alone a partner. And I'm fine with that. I don't have a burning need to be coupled with someone."

24."I'm still learning how to manage the chronic illnesses I was recently diagnosed with. Consequently, I don't have the time or energy to meet new people or socialize, not to mention my mobility issues, which make it difficult to make it to social events in the first place."

—Anonymous

25.Finally, "I'm in my 40s and have been single for over 10 years. I feel like I’ve gotten to the point where I’m too comfortable in my solitude, and the idea of having someone in my space constantly just gives me claustrophobia now. Maybe something long-distance or with someone who travels a lot for work could work. Either way, I can only take people in small doses, then I’m drained and need alone time to decompress. So that doesn’t help."

Do you relate to any of these responses? Or, if you thought you'd be single forever until you found your partner, I want to hear how you met.

Note: Some entries have been edited for length/clarity.