20 Divisive Parenting Tactics People Couldn't STAND — Until They Had Kids Of Their Own
Nothing quite prepares you for parenthood until you're in it. I remember seeing parents with their young kids, silently critiquing their chosen tactics — thinking, for example, 'Does your two-year-old really need to watch TV at the dinner table?' But now I have a toddler of my own, and I know the answer is: whatever works!
Well, Redditor u/Ordinary-Broad asked, "What’s one thing you used to judge parents on before you had kids?" Here's what people said.
1."Cosleeping. I SWORE up and down my baby would never sleep with me... then the PPD/PPA hit. The long nights of waking up every two hours to breastfeed. Then, he woke up every time I set him down in the bassinet. I gave up and decided I needed sleep."
2."Gentle parenting. As strange as that sounds. I thought 'getting your ass whooped' was normal. I was raised in an abusive, neglectful home. I knew I had it bad growing up (my parents were alcoholics/addicts, and my mom overdosed when I was 21), but after having kids, I realized just how bad it was. Now that I'm a parent in a stable, healthy home environment, I see how seriously important it is to try to be calm and gentle with my kids. I would never 'beat them with the belt,' as I had heard SO many times growing up."
3."For me, it was leashes for toddlers. I’d ask myself, 'What kind of monster would chain their kid to a leash!' Now I have a toddler, and I can totally see why people might need a leash in public places. 😂"
4."Living a flexible life with baby. I'd see relatives with young ones who took hours to leave their house because of all the prep, timing naps, and feeds. I'd think to myself, wow couldn't they just do all that outside the home, like at the mall or in the car? Surely, when I have a child, they will fit into MY schedule, not the other way around. Welp... I was very judgemental and naive."
5."A kid cried through almost an entire eight-hour red-eye flight. Back then, I thought, geez, why don’t the parents do something? Now: those poor parents."
6."Older kids in strollers. My twins were still using the stroller at four. I didn't have a car, but if we're going out for a six-hour outing to the city, I'm absolutely taking the stroller. Crossing the road or walking through crowds is much safer, and there's somewhere to crash when they're ready for a nap."
7."Throwing tantrums or screaming in public places. I thought if they can’t behave, don’t take them out! Quickly realized the only way to teach them how to behave in public is to take them out!"
8."Dirty cars and car seats. Now I've learned that mess just comes with the territory 🤣."
9."Saying 'because I said so.' I swore I'd never use that phrase. I would explain things to my kid instead. And I do. But after the third or fourth time explaining the exact same thing, you just have to take a bath because I said so."
10."Carrying your kid in your arms when you have a stroller. 'Why do you even buy a stroller if you don't put your kid in it, stupid parent?' Yeah, I learned the hard way why."
11."I never understood why people brought children to breweries. Now I understand that breweries — with their beautiful wide open green grassy spaces where kids can run off their energy and parents can drown their sorrows in delicious ice cold beer — are MADE for parents 😂."
12."I used to tell friends, 'Just bring your kid to blah blah blah! They can nap in the car!' Umm no. It’s not that easy. 😵💫 I was so dumb, lol."
13."Screen time at a restaurant. We rarely hand over a phone, but sometimes the wait for food is long, and we’ve exhausted all our other resources. Screens are a tool."
14."Picky eaters. My kids weren’t going to live on chicken nuggets and pizza. My kids would eat whatever we eat. 🤣 I have one who will try whatever and eat what he likes and one who only eats standard 'kid food.'"
15."I silently judged parents that said their kid 'saved' them from their previous bad lifestyles or choices or mental health issues or whatever else. It seemed like a lot to put on a kid, and if you need help managing (which is normal and reasonable), you should lean on an adult, not a tiny person who will potentially feel responsible for managing everyone else's emotions once they're grown. But then I had a kid. All of my bad habits and questionable coping mechanisms became painfully obvious, and I realized I had to learn how to deal with life in a healthy way if I was going to be a good example and emotionally present parent. It's caused me to work on some things I wouldn't have otherwise and has kind of saved me."
16."I was never going to bribe my child. I was going to teach him to be respectful and behave without the promise of candy/fruit snacks/screen time. Ha ha ha ha. I was young, so full of hope."
17."When parents would decline invitations out for dinners/restaurants at night time, or want the dinner to start at 5 p.m. Oh, how naive I was! My sister and I would ask why don’t they just bring the baby? Now I realize one dinner/night out means a few days out of routine and catching up on already sleep-deprived parents!"
18."Making special food for the kids. I judged my parents so hard for that. Now, I’m a short-order cook. Oh, well."
19."Using iPads or their phones when they were out. I said I wouldn’t let her watch videos on an iPad until she was at school. Hahahahahaha. Giving her the phone has saved my sanity while I was out in public."
20."Letting them eat cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I was a great parent before I had a kid."
Do you have one to add? What is something you judged other parents for before you had kids of your own? Tell us in the comments or in this anonymous form.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
