23 Shocking Stories And Confessions About What American Women's Lives Were Like Before The Women's Rights Movement
Just 50 years ago, women gained the right to open credit cards in their own name thanks to the Equal Credit Opportunity Act of 1974. Since then, women's rights in the US have come a long, long way. Recently, older adults on Reddit shared some secrets and stories that show just how much things have changed in a few decades. Here are their stories:
Note: this post contains mentions of domestic violence, abortion, and suicide.
1."This is about my mom, but I witnessed it in the '70s. My mom made enough to buy a house. She saved up and had plenty for a deposit. But no bank would give her a loan. She had every qualification except she was a woman, and where I lived (Tenessee), they were not going to give a home loan to a woman, especially not a single woman with children. So, she was forced to have my grandfather co-sign for the loan, which was humiliating. He made less money, and part of her reason for buying was to break from him. Instead he would lord it over her for the rest of her life how she couldn't even buy a house without his help, and he'd use it against her any time she tried to have an independent thought."
2."My mom needed a hysterectomy, and the doctor fudged the permission from her husband as she had kicked him out for being an abusive and alcoholic asshat."
—u/gadget850
3."My husband and I bought our first house in 1972 but my income couldn’t be included on the mortgage application in 1971 because I could — horror! — GET PREGNANT! A coworker and I were fired on the same day in 1971 because we were both married and could suffer the same fate. And back in the 1970s, women had to wear dresses, skirts, and suits to work, you know, before pants were invented."
—u/NANNYNEGLEY
4."My mother (47 at the time ) got breast cancer in the late 1960's. At that time, it was required that my father had to sign off on any surgeries she needed. Her doctors wanted to do a procedure to see if the cancer had spread. (Back then it was sort of the dark ages for treating cancer, and there weren't the diagnostic tools used now). He said no. He had been a manipulative, mean, and nasty drunk for many years previous. That was the last straw for my mother. She filed for divorce. My father committed suicide the day he was served the papers. My mother got the procedure and went on to live a much happier life for almost nine years."
5."When I was growing up in the 1970s, there were a LOT of women who'd been left high and dry by husbands who abandoned them or died. They had no recourse to get child support, particularly if they had not been married, had little or no work history because they had been 'lowly housewives,' and in some cases, didn't even know HOW to pay bills because their husbands had controlled everything and wouldn't let them see their finances."
—u/MsTerious1
6."When I first entered the job market in 1968, the employment ads in the newspaper were divided into 'Help Wanted-Men' and 'Help Wanted-Women.' Employment agencies and company HR departments also still designated jobs as being for men or for women. Even white-collar jobs, where there couldn't have been even an iota of a justification for this, were divided this way. This should have already been illegal due to the 1964 Civil Rights Act, but it took some years before the new law started being implemented and enforced and altered actual practices."
"Even in 1979, when I was newly graduated with a B.A. in Accounting, several employment agencies refused to submit me for accounting jobs, telling me the companies would not even interview women for these positions. I did eventually land a job as a junior accountant.
On my second day on the job, someone came to tell me that they were going to start training me to relieve the receptionist at lunch. I told her that could not be correct because I was an accountant. Her answer was that 'all the women in the office have to take turns doing this.' I took my objection to my boss and then to his boss and was told the same thing: do it or get fired. It was only when I threatened them with legal action that they relented. Great way to start a new job.
Discrimination in credit wasn't prohibited by law until 1974, but as a single woman, I obtained a credit card in my name before that, probably in 1970."
—u/QV79Y
7."My dad said the office secretary broke down crying at work because she found out she was pregnant. She and her husband had two kids and a new house and really needed her income. And the company was going to fire her because she was pregnant."
8."My dad died unexpectedly in the early '70s; my mom was about 35. Even though she was a brilliant woman, she had no idea he hadn’t paid taxes for years and that we had no savings. We ended up destitute and had to go live with relatives for a couple of years. But she rallied, got a job, bought us a house, and became a spokesperson for Planned Parenthood. My mom freaking rocked!"
—u/baskaat
9."I remember being paid less than men because men were 'breadwinners' and had to 'take care of a family.' When I started working in education, it was absolutely wonderful to know men and women were all paid the same. The salaries were public and based on years in the school district. I know a lot of people knock education, but I've been paid well and fairly in my district because we have a great union."
10."My mother (born 1927) was an MD in that time when not many women were. For her entire school period, college, medical school, residency, and early hospital jobs, all she heard was, 'When are you going to stop this nonsense and get married and have a family?' She got married at 27 and was at that point considered a desperate old maid. She married another MD because she said no other man who wasn't would have her."
—u/MrBreffas
11."All my money came from babysitting. The one dad who always wanted to walk me home was a groper. It was expected for men to get handsy, expose themselves, and shout stupid things. And we were expected to resist in a ladylike manner and ignore it."
—u/Poohgli16
12."Around 1960, my grandparents got a good deal on a lovely Victorian house because there had been a fire, and the small town considered the house haunted. The fire occurred when the former lady of the house set herself on fire after her husband caught and assaulted the man she’d hidden in a living room closet to act as a witness to her abuse — the only way she could get a divorce in those days. Her saying her husband beat her, the marks on her body, they meant nothing until a man witnessed it and spoke on her behalf. She tried to take the legal way out, and then she set a fire."
13."I had to have a male cosigner just for a checking account pre-1974."
14."I vividly remember trying to buy some clothes for my infant at Sears in the late '70s and being told, even though the Sears credit card had my name on it, that they had to call my husband to make sure I had permission to use the card. Yes, I left the pile of clothes on the counter and walked out. I also could NOT get a credit card in my name only."
15."I had three friends who had back alley abortions in the '60s. One was a friend whose family was wealthy, so she flew to Puerto Rico to have it there. That was pretty common for folks with money at that time. The second one also had money and got a Park Avenue doctor's number. He did discreet abortions on the side for wealthy clients. The third one was my closest friend. She had no money, and hers was a horror show of an abortion. I went with her uptown to get it from god knows who. I don't remember how she even found this supposed 'medical professional.' She was a mess and in great pain. She bled on the subway ride back downtown. I won't get more specific other than to say she was lucky to be able to have kids after that and to have come out of it alive."
—u/oldnyker
16."My mom was divorced, and everybody in our neighborhood looked down on her. She had a good job on the assembly line at Pontiac Motors, but she couldn't buy one of the vehicles rolling off her line. She had to have my grandpa buy it for her. She couldn't purchase a house. She had to have my grandpa buy it for her."
17."My mom was a teacher. While she was a US citizen, she spent years teaching in Costa Rica and traveling all around South and Central America. She came back to the US in the 1950s and decided to go for a graduate degree. While living in her college dorm, the dorm matron would lock her out and give her demerits because Mom's bio fieldwork was in biomes that required her to travel ways away, and she couldn't always get back in time for curfew. There she was, a grown adult who'd lived and traveled in multiple countries safely, being penalized for not getting home by 8 p.m. Mom had to take it to the dean because the dorm matron didn't think any respectable woman had any business being out past eight on a weeknight. I mean, it worked (and that's how she met Dad— he was waiting to talk to the Dean about something else). But you can bet the male bio students didn't have to deal with that nonsense."
18."One of my colleagues is an attorney. She's been practicing since pre-1974. In her first job as an attorney, she couldn't have her own bank account for her paycheck. It had to go to her husband. She's still salty about it, and I don't blame her."
19."My grandmother was physically abused by my alcoholic grandfather for their entire 30-year marriage. He had her committed to institutions multiple times to basically nullify any of her abuse claims. He gaslit her for years. A few times, she involved the police and had to go to court, where she was told, 'Stop using the court system to solve your marital issues,' while standing there with a black eye. Or, 'A man’s home is his castle.' The courts wouldn’t grant her a divorce. When no-fault divorce was legalized, she was one of the first women in our state to be granted one."
—u/Icy_Pass2220
20."A coworker grabbed my breasts at work and moved them up and down to make a joke, and I was the one that got fired."
—u/mladyhawke
21."I was adopted in the 1960s, and I met my biological mother when I was in my 30s. Upon learning this, some people (usually women) act shocked over the idea of any woman voluntarily surrendering her newborn child, like it's unthinkable and even evil. What they fail to (and can't) understand is what it was actually like to be, for example, 18 years old and pregnant in, say, 1966. There was no support system, there were no benefits, and there was no daycare. No one would even talk to an unmarried single mother, let alone hire her for anything. It was surrounded by cultural stigma and shame. Most of these women hid their secret and tried to go on as if it never happened. They really didn't have much of a choice. It illustrates how very different society was back then, even though it really wasn't all that long ago."
22.And finally, "My mom had her last child in her early 40s. Difficult pregnancy and birth. Her doctor suggested no more children as another would put her life in jeopardy, yet would not perform a tubal ligation without my father's consent. Her life was literally not her own. It was my father's. He did consent after she told him she would never have sex with him again. At least that's the story she told us all."
Do you have a personal or family story that shows how far American women have come? Tell us about it in the comments.
