Mum pens powerful Facebook post about not judging other women before you’ve spoken to them

Alice Sholl
Contributor
“But this other mum’s advice hit me with a big reality check” [Photo: Constance Hall/Facebook]

Today it’s all too easy to judge people before we’ve spoken to them.

And thanks to Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and the like, before we’ve even seen them in person too.

Which is why now more than ever, it’s important not to judge a book by its cover, as mum and blogger Constance Hall realised herself at her school pick up on a particular day.

Having noticed another “posh” mum regularly at school who “drove a nice car” and “held her head high”, Hall found that the woman amplified her own insecurities, prompting her to instigate gossip with another mum.


But when she finally spoke to the “posh” mum, her expectations were totally shattered, and the pair are now best friends.

“There was this women at school pick up everyday,” Hall wrote on Facebook a few days ago.

“I don’t know what it was about her, she drove a nice car, held her head high and always had a blow dry.

“She spoke in a posh accent, wore nice (non stained) clothes and barely ever spoke to me.
“There I was, with my tits out breast feeding my babies, smelling like dried milk, matted hair, a puffy face from a morning in tears, no shoes and a partial bogan accent…

“It was like she was put on this earth to amplify my insecurities.”


So she did what many mums would do in that situation, and tried talking about her with another mum – “partly out of intrigue and partly hoping to make my feral self feel better,” she admitted.

“But this other mums (sic) advice hit me with a big reality check.

“‘Talk to the woman not about her.’ So one day I decided to talk to her.

“I sat next to her on the brick retainer wall outside the kindy room.

“I found out she is an ex addict and holds AA meetings to help out other addicted women that want sobriety, I found out she struggles with her marriage, her kids and her health just like the rest of us. I found out that she is a million things, snobby not being one of them.

“She is one of the most inspiring women I know.


“Turns out I have a confident exterior too, turns out that while sitting there hating my life without the confidence to talk to these gorgeous mums, they didn’t have the confidence to talk to me, they thought I was too free too relaxed, that I thought I was too cool.

“And that mum, is now one of my best friends, we bitch about our men together, our kids and we laugh all the time.

“So now that I’m at a new school, I know that a lot of folks have their opinions on me these days and unfortunately a lot of the gossip has gotten back to me, I’d like to remind mums everywhere to..

“Talk to the woman not about her.”

Hall’s message has struck a chord with other mums, the post having gathered more than 90,000 reactions and almost 9,000 shares.

“We need so much more of this,” one of her fans commented. “Our next bestie could be a simple ‘Good morning’ away.”

And another suggested: “‘Talk to the mum (woman), not about her’ should be a sign in every kinder and school pick [up] areas.”

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