A YouTube vlogger who literally broke the Internet after admitting to breastfeeding her baby while having sex has explained why.
ICYMI Tasha Maile, a vegan ‘spiritual mama’ created quite the scandal after a video of her discussing being intimate while her baby was latched on went viral.
Now that the dust has settled somewhat, the mum-of-three has decided to try and set the record straight by penning an essay on Romper to explain why she did, in fact, have intercourse while her baby was nursing.
In the story titled “I’m the Mom Who Breastfed During Sex & Here’s What You Get Wrong About Me’ she addresses the criticism she has faced since posting the video and explains the reasoning behind her actions.
“I made the nursing during sex video a while ago,” she writes. “In a lot of my videos, I’ll take questions that are asked frequently, and my viewers had asked me that question in many different ways. They wanted to know if I had done it, and there were people who had done it themselves who were questioning whether it was OK.”
She goes on to say that she has actually only ever had sex while nursing once.
“It was 3 months after my first baby was born. It was the first time [my ex and I] had been intimate since the baby was born, because the baby was literally attached me 24/7,” she explains.
“The baby was sleeping and if I happened to move or pull the nipple out of his mouth, he would wake up. If I put him down at any point, he’d flail his arms out and scream bloody murder, like I was murdering him.”
She wrote that her first born — who she believes experienced a traumatic birth — was only content when latched onto her breasts.
When she and her then husband had sex for the first time, the baby was latched (not breastfeeding) and sleeping while they had gentle sex from behind.
“It was one of those things that kind of just happened and it worked. But there was absolutely zero sexual energy toward the baby, who was sleeping,” she says.
The vlogger goes on to address some of the criticism she has faced since the video. One of the biggest issues for some was the idea that she was sexualising the act of breastfeeding, something the mum vehemently denies.
“I didn’t really enjoy [breastfeeding during sex],” she admits. “I haven’t had any feelings in my nipples since I was 18, so there’s no stimulation with the sucking.”
“I didn’t even know that breastfeeding could be pleasurable in any way, but I know that for some women, it is, the same way that eating a delicious mango is pleasurable,” she continued. “I think a lot of women have shame admitting that breastfeeding can be pleasurable, but as long as your intention is positive, that’s fine.”
Maile also addresses the thorny issue of having sex while the baby is in the same room, something she thinks is ok.
“I have had sex with the children in the room once. I’m completely single, but it’s happened with my former partner, because I have a family bed and a family room. For me, it works,” she writes. “…it’s like the child isn’t even there. You’re not even thinking about your child. The child isn’t involved in the act.”
And despite the controversy, Maile admits that her opinion about having sex while breastfeeding hasn’t changed
“I’m still all for breastfeeding during sex,” she says. “I say if the intentions behind it are to make love with your partner and you have to take care of your baby during or in the middle, I’m all for it.”
“They say it’s OK to have sex when you’re pregnant and make love during labor, but when the baby is actually there, it’s not OK,” she continues. “I don’t have a problem with the baby being in the room while we’ve made love. If the baby is not involved directly, I think it’s great. Those loving, beautiful vibes — that’s great for the baby to be around.”
No doubt the trolls are sharpening their claws for round two.
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