The most thoughtful condolence messages to write in a sympathy card
Expressing condolences is never a task one looks forward to, but it’s so important to show sympathy when someone in your life has lost a loved one.
It can be difficult to find the right words to say to someone who is experiencing grief, but taking that extra step to acknowledge someone else’s hurt and pain through a handwritten note is a small gesture that shows them that they aren’t alone.
“Handwritten notes are one of the most personal forms of communication,” says Tanea Smith, owner of She’s Got Papers, an online stationery boutique. “The recipient may forget the day you called or visited, but a card is a keepsake. It will be kept and reread.”
Need some help putting pen to paper? Here are a few things to remember next time you go to write a sympathy card or note.
How to write a condolence message
Whether it’s a friend coping with the sudden loss of a spouse or a colleague whose mum recently passed, you can't go wrong expressing heartfelt sentiments, like the ones listed below, along with an authentic and a personal memory or anecdote. But more importantly, there are some things you shouldn’t do.
“Never write, ‘They're in a better place and there's no more pain,’” says Smith. “While you may feel this way, any phrase that brings attention to the death can produce more grief and sadness. You want your words to do the opposite, not highlighting the death but celebrating the life… just be sure to avoid writing things that could be upsetting or misinterpreted.”
Shirley Enebrad, an author and certified grief recovery specialist agrees. “Never make it about you and your experience with loss,” she says. “Focus on the griever and his or her feelings. Absolutely never say, "I know how you feel.” Additionally, it’s always best not to ask how you can help. “Do not ask them to contact you if they need anything” says Enebrad.
Also, remember to send your sympathy card within the first couple of weeks. However, if you miss that opportunity, it’s never too late. In fact, it might have a positive impact on the grieving recipient who may feel like everyone has moved on while they’re still grappling with their loss.
Condolence messages for a friend
“I know there are no words that can ease your pain. Just know that I’ll always be here for you no matter what.”
“Thinking of you during this difficult time.”
“Sending healing prayers and comfort during this tough time.”
“You’re not alone. I’m here to be a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen to anything that you may want to share.”
“My heart goes out to you for the loss of your dear friend. I know how much they meant to you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.”
“I cannot imagine the pain and heartache you’re feeling. I am praying for your peace and comfort.”
“Losing someone so close is so hard. I will be here to support you at any time and any hour. Sending you so much love."
“I know that grief comes in waves. That’s why I intend to be with you throughout this difficult journey.”
“Be kind and gentle with yourself. Take your time and know that you have my full support.”
“I recall how much time you two spent together. You were virtually inseparable. May all your wonderful memories comfort you during this heartbreaking time.”
Condolence messages for a colleague
“Thinking of you and your family as you celebrate the life of your beloved.”
“May your happy memories give you peace and comfort during this challenging time.”
“I am sharing in your sadness as you remember your loved one.”
“Praying for you during this difficult time. If you ever want to talk, I’m here.”
“Deepest condolences to you and your family for your loss.”
“Words cannot express how saddened we are to learn of your loss. Please take your time. We are all here for you.”
“My heartfelt sympathy to you and yours at this sad time.”
“Please accept my sincere condolences.”
Condolence messages for someone who lost a parent
“I didn’t have the pleasure of knowing your mom, but I’m sure she was a special person because she raised an amazing human being: you. Wishing you peace and comfort during this unimaginable time.”
“Your dad’s amazing personality lives on through you. Sending you love during this difficult time.”
“There is no one in this world like your mother. She was a special person, and she will always be with you.”
“Your mother will forever remain in our hearts and memories.”
“Your father was such an inspiration in my life —I’ll never forget the valuable lessons he taught me.”
“Nothing I can say will take away the pain you’re experiencing. Just want you to know that I care about you, and I share in your sadness.”
“May you look back on the precious memories and find peace in knowing that your father raised an amazing person.”
“A mother’s love is eternal. Hold on to that infinite love and let it be your guiding light.”
“I will always cherish the wonderful memories I have with your dad. He will be forever missed.”
“From what I’ve heard, your mother was a phenomenal woman. What good memories you must have. Lean on them to remind you of the joy she brought into your life”
“I’m a firm believer that when we lose someone close to us, like a father, they continue to live on through us and give us unbelievable strength. They’re so connected to us that they become a part of us.”
Condolence messages for someone who lost a spouse
“Love never dies. Your wife’s love for you is everlasting.”
“Your husband was such a wonderful man. He was also an outstanding partner who will live in our hearts and memories forever.”
“No words can express how sorry I am for the loss of your wife. I didn’t know her personally, but I know how much you loved her, and I am here for you.”
“I know your husband must’ve been an amazing man because you always beamed with pride whenever you spoke of him. Sending you an abundance of love.”
“It was such a privilege and honour to work with your wife. She was an incredibly smart and thoughtful woman. May her memory live on forever.”
“I’ll always admire the love shared between you and your husband. You shared a one-of-kind bond that can never be broken.”
“I’m deeply sorry for the loss of your beloved partner. You complemented each other like no other couple I know. May your precious memories bring you comfort.”
“I was incredibly saddened to hear about the passing of your dear wife. She was always so thoughtful and kind. She will truly be missed.”
“Your partner was such a special person. They will live in my heart forever.”
“Someone who shared so much life with you will always be a part of you. Bonds like yours are forever.”
Condolence messages to someone who lost a sibling
"Your sister/brother was such an important part of your life, and her/his loss is felt deeply by so many. Please accept my sincerest condolences."
"Your sister/brother will always be remembered for the amazing person she/he was. May her/his memory bring you comfort and peace."
"Your sister/brother's spirit will live on through all the lives she/he touched. She/he was an incredible person and will be greatly missed."
"Losing a sibling is never easy, but please know that you have a friend in me who will always be there for you."
"Please know that you are in my dearest thoughts and prayers. I hope that you find comfort in the memories you shared with your sister/brother."
"Your sister/brother's memory will always live on through the love she/he shared with others. May her/his light continue to shine on through you."
"I was both shocked and saddened to hear about the loss of your brother/sister. She/he was an incredible friend and I know the best sibling anyone could ask for. Please accept my sincerest condolences for your loss."
"Hearing about your sister/brother’s unexpected passing has left me heartbroken for you. No one is ever prepared to say goodbye under such tragic circumstances. Stay strong and lean on loved ones who can offer comfort during this unimaginably painful time. You are not alone."
Condolence messages for someone who lost a child
"There are no words that can express the depth of sorrow I feel for your loss. Your precious daughter/son's memory will forever remain in our hearts."
"From our family to yours, we cannot tell you how much we are going to miss (insert child's name). She/he was truly an incredible child that we feel honoured to have known."
"I pray that as the months and years pass, you find peace in the beautiful memories you created together as a family. She/he will live on in your hearts."
"I so appreciate you opening up to me about your miscarriage. I know I can't do anything to make this better, but I am here for you for whatever you need at anytime."
"The loss of a child is a pain that words cannot heal. I offer my heartfelt condolences and hope that the cherished moments you shared will bring you some comfort."
"I’m so deeply sorry for your loss. Please know that my heart aches for you and your family during this unimaginable time of grief."
"During this time of grief, may you find solace in the love and memories you shared with your son/daughter. Her/he spirit lives on in the lives she/he touched."
"Your daughter/son had an incredible impact on the world in their short time here. She/he will always be remembered and cherished."
"I offer my deepest condolences on the passing of your beloved daughter/son. Her/his time with us was too short, but her/his impact was immeasurable."
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