Man Proposes to Girlfriend Early Because He Wants Dying Mom at Wedding, Gets Rejected

A man is contemplating whether or not it was wrong for him to propose to his girlfriend earlier than planned.

In a post on Reddit's popular "Am I the A------?" forum, the man explained that he recently popped the question to his girlfriend of more than four years — but was promptly rejected by her. She told him he was "wrong for proposing" early because his reasoning was for his mother, not for her.

The man wants his mother at his future nuptials, but she has stage 4 cancer and "the doctors have said she likely has less than two years left to live." So he would need to speed up wedding planning for her to attend, and the first step is him getting engaged.

"She is my only close family member so obviously I want her to be at my wedding," the man wrote.

He added that he and his girlfriend have spoken about getting married before, but they agreed at the time that they wouldn't pursue it until after his exams finish in December 2025. This would allow him to fully focus on his exams and not stressfully split his attention between studying and wedding planning.

"I realized that my mum being at the wedding is more important than not splitting my focus with wedding planning and exams and just told myself I'd just have less free time to manage to do both of them at once," the man said. "I bought a ring and planned a nice night for me and my girlfriend and proposed to her."

Related: Bride Says Mother Tried to Steal the Spotlight at Her Wedding by Wearing a 'Burlesque'-Style Gown: 'Wanted to Be Sexy'

But his girlfriend repeatedly said no, noting that they previously agreed to wait.

"I explained my reasoning and pointed out we've both agreed we want to get married and that we've been together over four years so it's not like we're rushing into anything," the man wrote. "She still said no and said I shouldn't have proposed and should have waited until when we agreed. I explained again why I didn't and she just said no again."

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Reddit users in the comments section were sympathetic toward the man but agreed that he went about the proposal in the wrong way.

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"I think the way you did it was wrong," one Redditor wrote in part. "Given that you had both discussed marriage and agreed, you should have been able to say, 'Hey, given my mum's situation and me wanting her at the wedding, can we move things up?' "

Some people argued that prioritizing his mother's timeline over his girlfriend's might have made her feel "less important" or that her opinion wasn't respected. Others said that her reaction could have been more considerate, with one person even calling her rejections "heartless."

"I understand why you'd want your mom to be there, but I also see why she might feel upset you didn’t stick to the plan," another person commented, adding, "It’s a tough situation."

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