‘I’m a clown in a war zone – I never thought my work would be so important’

I have a very unusual life.

I’m an 18-year-old circus clown, a children’s entertainer decked out in exaggerated makeup and silly outfits. The point of my performance is to make kids laugh by looking and acting really silly.

I started very young; I was 12 years old when my uncle introduced me to the world of circus arts and entertainment. He was a trainer. It was his job to teach people how to do tricks and how to be funny. He’s since moved abroad to Germany to continue developing his skills, but he picked my performing name, Uncle Tito, which the kids love.

For the six years I’ve been training, I never could have imagined that the work would be so important – and that it would become a lifeline for hundreds of children through unimaginable horrors.

I was born in Gaza, Palestine, and my training was with the Gaza Circus School. Right now, I live in northern Gaza, and almost all of it has been destroyed by Israeli bombing. Life is very difficult here.

That’s what makes my work so strange at this time. I’m one of the few people who still has something to do other than survive. I have to keep people happy while the war continues. I do my best because I don’t know if I will see the children again.

My daily routine consists of waking up like usual – it’s very difficult to get food and water – and then getting myself ready to travel with my group to various centres in the north. I wear bright red overalls with huge coloured spots on them, a black top hat with colourful flowers and, of course, the white face paint and bright red nose. Sometimes I wear red and white pinstripes, or other colours like my bright blue, yellow, and green jacket.

The point of the work is to provide psychological support to all the children in the region. Gaza has one of the youngest populations in the world: almost half of the people here are under 18.

We travel around to various places in the north, including schools where thousands of displaced kids are sheltering. A recent report, by a Gaza-based NGO sponsored by the War Child Alliance charity, found that 96 per cent of children here feel that death is imminent.

Over 79 per cent of children suffer nightmares and 72 per cent display signs of aggression. Forty-nine per cent actually want to die, according to the report. It’s estimated that more than 17,000 children are unaccompanied because their parents have been killed or displaced through bombing.

Mental health support is everything right now for the kids. It might be the only time they smile in the day, and it might be the only good thing in their life. I put on performances for them, doing silly things, riding my bike, making objects disappear, and playing with the children. I do competitions and give them gifts. Because the schools have closed in the area, I sometimes bring an educational angle to what I do – like teaching numbers through my bits.

But there is a dark side, too. As I speak to you, I am very, very, sad. Today was more difficult than usual; we didn’t eat. I was struggling to find food for my little sisters. My house was destroyed by the war so now I live in a district centre, where lots of people are sheltering. Over 90 per cent of the population has been displaced. There are seven of us in the family, and we’re lucky to be alive.

The situation here in the north of Gaza is very dangerous. We can be bombed at any time, anywhere. As we speak, you can hear the sound of the drones, and now here comes the sound of the bombs. Once, we were in a school when it was bombed. We were also injured in our house before it was destroyed.

But then the worst thing happened. Today, we found out that my older sister Shahd’s husband was killed. I can’t describe the pain we felt.

It’s difficult being here but I’ve found my purpose in life through this work: providing joyful childhood experiences to the kids experiencing extreme hardship. I love my job. I love to see the kids laugh. I feel like I am giving them hope.

My hope for the future is to be able to make all the children in the world happy. I hope people can help us and I hope they can save us. Children in Gaza deserve joy and life. I believe that each child is honoured and protected through the art of the clown. Laughter overpowers the sound of drones.

This interview was translated from Arabic