Long sex a struggle for time poor parents: How to fit it in

Couples with children have sex lasting an average of just two minutes and 15 seconds. [Photo: Getty]
Couples with children have sex lasting an average of just two minutes and 15 seconds. [Photo: Getty]

It is no secret becoming a parent affects your sex life, and a new poll suggests the situation is worse than we thought, with couples spending just minutes in the sack.

According to the poll by parenting website ChannelMum, couples who have had children spend an average of two minutes and 15 seconds having full sex, while one in 12 couples even admit to sessions lasting under a minute.

Given the pressures of parenthood, 71 per cent of parents said they were having ‘quickie’ intercourse as a way of keeping the chemistry alive after having children.

Unsurprisingly, three quarters of couples interviewed admit they have less sex since becoming parents – but it isn’t all bad. Some 47 per cent of fathers claimed their sex life was better than ever, although only 29 per cent of mums agreed.

Cathy Ranson, Editor at ChannelMum.com told Yahoo Style UK: “Sex after parenthood isn’t spoken about enough, so we carried out the research to find out what’s hot, what’s not and what we can do about it.

“The good news is most parents are still keeping the magic alive in their relationships, to the point that half of dads say their love lives are better – with just one in six saying it is worse.

“However the mums aren’t all getting what they want, with a third saying sex is worse as a parent. Mums are worried about a lack to time to get into the mood and feel stressed trying to work, be a good mum, carry out all the chores and find time for a fulfilling love live.

Cathy shared her tips on how to improve your sex life as a parent.

  1. Schedule sex. Everything else in family life tends to be timetabled so don’t forget about your own satisfaction. Pencil a time – even once a month – to make it happen.

  2. Remember it won’t be like pre-baby sex and it doesn’t have to be perfect. As long as you’ve had fun and enjoy yourself, that’s all that matters.

  3. Bodies change after having babies, so what worked for you before may not now. Go easy on yourself and take the time to find out what you enjoy again.

  4. A locked door is your friend. Pop a lock on your bedroom door or try a session in the bathroom where you can’t be disturbed.

  5. Go on date nights. Fan the flames of passion by remembering why you are together.

  6. If your children are old enough, see if a grandparent or family member can look after them for the odd night now and the. Not only will you be able to have more uninhibited sex, you’ll also get a morning lie-in! Winner!

  7. Need a bit of help? Spice things up with sex toys, lube or porn. Everyone is at it – they just don’t talk about it!

She also shared the survey participants’ favourite positions for ‘quickie’ sex, so if you’re a fan you should try the following:

  • Doggy style – 58%

  • Missionary – 53%

  • Spooning – 24%

  • Cowgirl – woman on top facing man – 23%

  • The Eagle – woman lies flat while man kneels up and holds her legs up high – 16%

  • Standing up, your partner behind – 13%

  • The Toad – woman clasps legs around man as both of you lie flat – 9%

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