'What I Learnt From Going From Party Girl To A Sober Millenial In My 20s'

There are many things that I find ironic, one of them being Bradley Cooper, the Hollywood actor who has been sober for over 13 years, playing such a fundamental role in The Hangover movie franchise.

Still, on the 11 February 2018 I woke up in a state that I’d like to think that at least his character Phil, would have fully identified with. That morning, at 26 years old, with no recollection of my night and a mysterious hat that wasn’t mine, I vowed to never drink again. As well as sticking to it, it has become the best decision that I’ve ever made.

And I’m not alone. Recent research has shown that drinking rates amongst UK adults are at their lowest in 18 years, and a quarter of 16-24 year olds don't drink at all. But it's not just the stats, even my party girl idol Kate Moss has openly declared her teetotalism and my local supermarket has gone from offering nothing but Shloer and Fanta to a host of organic Kombuchas and alcohol-free spirits. Whether you're here for it or not, there is definitely a shift happening amongst us notoriously boozy Brits.

Here’s a few things (some quite ironic) that I’ve learned about ditching booze in your partying prime!

The party isn’t over

You wouldn’t be the first person to assume that not drinking means that I spend my Friday nights indoors with 15 cats and a boggle board but sadly, you would be mistaken.

Not only am I severely allergic to cats but I’m as sociable as ever – if not more.

My two excuses for not attending something when I was drinking were a) I’m broke and b) I don’t want to be hungover the next day – neither excuses are valid in sobriety. Believe me, I’ve tried.

You actually don’t need a holiday after your holiday

I used to come back from a week in Ibiza looking grey and more on edge than when I left. Sober holidays are a dream. No dying of a hangover in the blistering heat, no being sick into hotel shower caps and Piña Coladas taste just as good when they’re virgin.

Alcohol is actually a depressant

We all know it and we just like to pretend that we don’t. I spent a lot of my early 20’s struggling with anxiety and always feeling just a little bit sad. But a jumper told me that I should ‘let the good times be-gin’ and so I inevitably listened.

Turns out, jumpers don’t know shit…

And so, sobriety can make a huge difference to your mental health

As well as simply removing alcohol and the inevitable ‘hangxiety’ after a night out, sobriety has given me the time and energy to haul myself to the gym, get outside, read self-development books and take up passion projects that I’ve always talked about doing but never followed through with.

Cheesy AF but it’s helped me to follow my dreams, achieve my goals and the positive impact it’s had on my mental health has been drastic.

If you’re dating, sobriety is a good d*ckhead deterrent

You’ll get one of two reactions when you tell a date that you don’t drink. Either ‘Omg, that’s really admirable – well done you, I think that’s great and kind of cool. P.S. Did I mention how smart, funny and beautiful I think you are?’

Or ‘LOL, you must be well boring, what do you even do for fun?’ The latter puts them firmly in the bin and you don’t even have to waste time picking out the perfect eyeshadow that encapsulates your ‘super cute but runs her own empire and could potentially ruin your life’ personality.

You can trust people who don’t drink

I used to slur the party girl mantra ‘I don’t trust people who don’t drink’ like it was going out of fashion. It was largely ironic because drunk me couldn’t be trusted with her own house keys.

Sober people are actually a pretty trustworthy bunch. We keep secrets, never cancel plans, turn up to things on time and make sure you all get home safely when the night is over.

You have SO much more money

I dread to think about how much I spent over the years on Jägerbombs alone. Despite the fact that when I first stopped drinking I was on a pretty rubbish salary, I felt like an absolute baller. If I was the type of person who was good at saving, I could have probably bought a house with all my extra money by now but instead, I’ve given most of it to ASOS. I don’t have a humble abode but I’d 100% give you wardrobe envy.

Your parents might finally treat you like an adult

Regardless of whether I was living at home or not, my Mum was forever checking up on me when she knew I was drinking. She always warned me about standing too close to train tracks or warned me of horror stories about what might befall me if I didn’t double-check that my taxi was licensed.

Now, I rarely hear from her on a night out and the morning phone call to check that I’m alive doesn’t happen much either.

Real confidence is built when you learn to face scary situations without a drink

Us millennials are a funny bunch, while we’re more confident and ballsier than ever, we’re also more insecure and find it super hard to deal with stressful situations. When we drink because we’ve had a tough week at work, we’re nervous about a date or we’ve had our heart broken, we’re essentially replacing an uncomfortable state or emotion with a much more comfortable one and we’re doing it instantly.

Not working through these emotions from start to finish means that when the same situations arise again, we’re not equipped to deal with them and they still feel terrifying. Doing new and scary things sober has given me a confidence that I didn’t know I had within me and I carry it through other elements of my life too.

Not everyone will get it and that’s okay

People like to fling ‘everything in moderation’ at me quite a bit and ‘you’re too young to never say never’ or my personal fave ‘ReD WiNe iS gOoD FoR You’.

Sure, it might boast a few anti-oxidants but blueberries have them too and I’ve never thrown up in my handbag or slept with a stranger after a blueberry.

But on the flipside, more people will get it than you ever expected to

Since talking openly about my sobriety at @sobergirlsociety, I’ve become rather like a homing beacon for people having similar thoughts about their own drinking habits. From friends of friends to men I briefly matched with on Bumble – it’s astonishing the variation of people that have messaged me to tell me that they admire what I’ve done and have been thinking about changing their own relationships with alcohol.

Again, with the irony, the people who I thought would be first to unfollow me on Instagram when I started shouting from the rooftops about my new alcohol-free lifestyle have been the first to reach out. I never stop being surprised by people’s reactions and one of the biggest things I’ve learned from going sober in my 20s is that while I used to think alcohol was my biggest connector to people, talking openly about why I’ve given it up has been an even bigger one.