Kate McKinnon was "scared and sad" about leaving 'Saturday Night Live'.
The 38-year-old comic announced earlier this year she was leaving the long-running sketch series after a decade and though it had been on her mind to quit "for a while", she eventually knew it was time to step down because she was struggling with the "gruelling" schedule, particularly the late finishes.
She admitted: "I definitely was not sure when the right time to go was. Leaving was in the back of my mind for a while, because it’s just a gruelling schedule. I mean, I could do it for the rest of my life, happily, if the schedule were not so gruelling and if I was not naturally a person who liked to wake up at 8 a.m. and go to bed at midnight..."
Asked what made her stay through the last three seasons, she tearfully said: "Part of it was the pandemic and how strange production had become, and wanting to wait until it was normal again. And mostly I hate change and I hate good-byes and I love those people. Sorry, I’m going to start crying …
"It was really hard, and I really am not good at saying good-bye to stuff. Whoa.
" I was having trouble staying up until 1 a.m. And I was like, Okay. I have to go. As scared as I am and as sad as I am, it’s time."
Kate found it particularly "hard" telling creator Lorne Michaels she had decided to leave.
Speaking on Vulture's 'Good One' podcast, she cried again as she said: "Telling Lorne was really hard. He knew it was coming. He was very sweet. But he has been a father figure to me, and so much more. It was just really hard — simple human emotions, not wanting to say good-bye to something you love.
“This is fresh. It only happened two months ago.”
The 'Ghostbusters' actress will miss 'SNL' "forever".
She added: "And especially the people — just the greatest people, and an absolute family of people. But I’m also excited to join new families and explore other parts of myself.
"I mean, I think that as you could maybe tell from listening to this interview, I also have sadness. I have joy and I have sadness, and maybe I’ll see if I can do something with that. I don’t know.”