Juno Birch on new show Probed and potential movie project: ‘I’d be a blue, genderless body’
Juno Birch is back, crash landing at the Soho Theatre this November for new one-woman show Probed, which promises to hold a mirror up to the “absurdity of life on this planet.”
In this exclusive chat, everyone’s favourite blue queen sits down with drag photography extraordinaire Greg Bailey, who’s also captured a stunning set of new snaps for the occasion.
The pair talk probing audience members, the joys of rice pudding, and a potential upcoming movie project for Juno. You heard it here first!
I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the looks you get when walking down the street with Juno Birch. Today, I’m shooting in central London at my friend’s offices and then making a six-minute walk across Oxford street to the second location which looks across the rooftops of London. It’s giving subtle Mary Poppins vibes and I’m totally here for it.
That short six-minute walk is filled with bemusement and awe from countless passersby, a smattering of double takes, several gasps, a handful of selfie requests. And one “Oh my god you look amazing; I love your dress” to which Juno politely replies, “Thank you so much my darling”, then quietly says to me with a kind wink, “That means the world coming from you Becky in your Primark outfit”!
As always, the shoot goes smoothly. I never really have to direct Juno much, as she knows how to deliver a brilliant photo. She just seems to read, or should I say “probe” my mind. We wrap up, then head back to the first location to de-drag and catch up.
How have you been m’love? What’s been happening in your life?
I’ve been good. I’ve been in America on holiday – I love going to the desert. I am a desert girly at heart. The heat is a lot, but it just feels like I’m at home. We went to Joshua Tree, Vegas and Sedona. Sedona Is the most magical place I’ve ever seen. It’s really orange, red rocks, it’s so beautiful. We went on a hike. Can you imagine me hiking? I nearly died.
Well, considering I just watched you stack it just now simply going for ciggy in your flats, yes I can imagine you going for a hike!
Oh shut up, you! But yes Philly and I filmed it all. So there’s going to be a fun video coming out on YouTube soon for everyone to watch.
Sounds like a brilliant TV show. Would you ever want to create something like that? Say Juno TV?
Oh, absolutely. I’ve wanted to do the Juno show for years. It would basically be a big chat show where the set is a spaceship, and I’ve abducted celebrities to probe them in interviews. That’s the idea we’ve always had. And then have little snippets of me wandering the streets with a microphone. But also, over the years, I’ve been writing a film. Just in case I ever get to the point where I could actually make a movie, y’know?
Showing how this alien became Juno. Crashing into the desert in Arizona with literally no makeup, nothing, just a blue body, no hair, nothing. And then gradually, as the film progresses I pinch things from people like hair and glasses from a 60s style salon. It wouldn’t be set in the 60s but kind of like in a Tim Burton movie when you can’t quite tell when the movie is set.
Also, as you know, I like to wear a hot dog costume sometimes. I had this story in mind that I am basically wandering the streets of New York at some point in the movie, starving, hungry, and I steal a hot dog from a hot dog stand. The vendor chases me down the street, and instead of paying for it, I have to work for him as a sign spinner in a hot dog costume.
Just little bits like that, stuff in the street and in the real world, kinda Rowan Atkinson-esque. Like that scene in Mr. Bean where he’s in a restaurant and he’s been given that disgusting meal, oh what was it? Steak tartare! That’s it. He has one taste of it. Oh, it’s disgusting, and then he starts shoving it in random places in the restaurant. It’s brilliant, that kind of humor, very Rowan Atkinson. I do see myself kind of a bit like Mr. Bean to be honest, in the way that he’s speechless, but visually comedic.
So in your movie you crash land in the desert, your favorite place. Where would you absolutely hate to crash land, but would be equally entertaining for people to watch?
Oh my god. Probably Florida. Just because of the whole thing with drag and trans hatred there, Republicans etc. But at that point in the movie, I wouldn’t even be a drag queen. I’d be just kind of a blue, genderless body.
Kinda non-binary – yeah that would go down really well in Florida. So in your new show Probed will it be similar in essence to this concept of you adapting/evolving in this Alien form?
My stand up has changed over the past couple of years, because a lot of the stuff I’ve done on say the Attack of the Stunning tour or The Juno Show, they were very in character as an alien. Whereas this is actually quite personal, deep stuff, like about growing up transgender. But the way I talk about things that I’ve been through in my life is always delivered in a big fat joke. So that’s just what I’m really excited to do, is to go through things that have happened in my life that people don’t actually know about me.
So obviously Probed is kinda the perfect name for it then?
Yes – absolutely. But don’t worry – the audience is not going to be probed. I’ll be arrested if I did that.
You could get them to sign something at the door.
No, no. I will be probing myself
Oh, Juno!
No, Greg – don’t be vile. Goodness me! I’m just really going deep into my life and kind of taking the piss. I’ve come to realise stand-up is my favorite thing to do. I just feel that it’s my comfort place.
Do you enjoy the interaction with the audience?
Yeah – I love that! I love taking the piss out of people in the audience. And I love intimate comedy clubs as well, because the tours that we’ve done in the past have been in big “wow” venues. These little seated comedy clubs where you can see the audience are great. You can pick people out so easily, like “the fuck are you wearing Becky?”.
Do you know what? I knew you’d say Becky.
There’s been a few Beckys today.
So have you been work-shopping stuff in preparation for the show?
Yeah. I’ve been testing out new material at little stand up comedy clubs recently. Going over things that I just don’t get about Earth, things that don’t make sense to me as an alien. Probing the absurdity of everyday life on Earth.
What kind of absurdities?
Rice pudding? What the fuck is that?
I thought it was gonna be deeper than that, but let’s go with it. I love rice pudding.
You dirty bastard! You know, I’m just really excited to make people piss with laughter. I did a Pride gig recently, which was just pure stand-up comedy, and the audience were in stitches during the bit of me trying to quit smoking.
You know, in the UK, those warning images that you get on the packets of cigarettes, I actually collect them, like Pokemon cards. I’ll be like, er, I’ll trade your black lung for a missing teeth.
I love that. It’s got real Ab Fab energy.
Oh yeah. I am a bit Eddie, a bit of Shirley Bassey, a bit Mr. Bean, and a bit of Lily Savage.
And out of drag?
Big Pete Burns energy.
Juno Birch appears in Probed at the Soho Theatre from 4-16 November. Tickets are available now from the Soho Theatre website from £23.00.
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