You be the judge: is my wife wrong to want to get rid of the fox in our garden?

The prosecution: Danny

In the garden of our house in south London we have a lean-to covered in ivy. A fox lives there. He will often just lie on top of it, and whenever one of us goes outside, he heads into the nearby bush. He’s no trouble and we don’t really see him that much, mainly just at night.

The problem is that we have a three-year-old and a five-year-old, and my wife, Cara, is worried about their safety. She wants to cut down the ivy and the bush, with the aim of making the fox find somewhere else to live – but I’m against it. I think we have to look after animals wherever they are, even if it makes us a bit uncomfortable.

It’s not as though I love that fact that he lives there, but I do find him cute. Though a fox isn’t a pet (and we certainly don’t feed him), the thought of him coming back from a night-time raid to no home makes me sad. I just can’t do it.

Cara worries about the kids playing near a wild animal, but whenever we go near, the fox runs away. He’s far more scared of us than we are of him. I know some people will say our kids’ safety is more important, but if the fox came near our house or got remotely close to the kids, I would cut the bush down. But he hasn’t.

I like the fact that we are able to offer the fox a good home. I like looking outside and seeing him all cosy. Yes, he could go and find somewhere else, but I like doing my bit. It’s his little paradise in the city. Our neighbours had a litter of four fox cubs last year, and we were obsessed with looking at them.

I don’t think we would be having this argument if we didn’t have children – Cara and my views on wildlife align in most cases. Cara sometimes complains about fox poo in the garden, but I only come across it very rarely, and in any case we only use the garden for a few months of the year.

For now, we’re at a stalemate. Cara says she sometimes considers trimming down the bush and the ivy while I’m away. Maybe one day she’ll do it, but I’d be quite upset.

The defence: Cara

I want to get rid of the fox because I don’t feel comfortable leaving the kids outside to play when there’s a wild animal capable of hurting them right there. Why run the risk?

Our neighbours had bad problems with foxes stealing shoes and toys, and they found foxes in their children’s bedroom at one point. The foxes even peed inside. I don’t want that. It’s also unsanitary to have a fox living on our lean-to. There’s been an increase in the amount of fox poo in the garden, and I’m worried about germs and diseases around the kids. I like animals, but I don’t want them there. I don’t think we bear the responsibility of finding that fox somewhere nice to live, and besides, we live right near a common. He has options.

The lean-to he lives on goes right up to our bedroom window. That’s also why I want to get rid of the fox – the noise comes into our room. You can hear rustling as he comes and goes. Danny says that we need to “do our bit” for wildlife, but he insisted on having artificial grass when we moved in. We all know that artificial grass is awful for wildlife.

Also the lean-to has recently become home to another fox. Just because our usual fox scuttles away when he sees us doesn’t mean every fox will. What if they start a family? Or get into a fight with other foxes? I’m worried that the kids will throw a ball into the bush while playing and rile the foxes up – they can be territorial. Stories about foxes attacking children are rare, but they do exist. I want to get a cat but I don’t think we can for now, as the fox is a potential risk. I don’t want us to curtail our lives because a fox lives in our garden.

We did a renovation years ago and installed bifold doors out into the garden, as we wanted to let the outside in, but now I’m scared to leave them open. I want to enjoy the house in summer. I just want to trim the ivy back so there’ll be no cover for the fox and then he might go away. I do think about doing it when Danny is isn’t around. It would disturb him for a while, but I think he’d get over it.

The jury of Guardian readers

Should Cara let the fox be?

Not guilty. It’d be one thing with no children, but young kids supersede the fox’s rights, no matter how low the risk of an incident. Cara is not trying to get rid of the fox inhumanely, just motivating him to move on to somewhere he’d be welcomed, like my garden!
Louise, 30

Foxes are pests, not pets. What’s next? Naming bedbugs? Cuddling rats? Foxes are dangerous, territorial and often carry diseases such as rabies. Your wife and children should come first, no matter how cute the furry freeloader may be. If you are truly starved of animal companionship, consider getting a dog.
Leonard, 28

While I haven’t really heard about foxes attacking people, infections from fox poo seems to be a real risk for young children. Also, Cara is only proposing to cut the bush to encourage the fox to go away – I don’t think that counts as hurting wildlife.
Nonoka, 34

Cara is catastrophising. A bifold door will make your home a free-for-all, and a pet cat will seek fox poo to bathe in. Teach your children to safely enjoy wildlife.
Elizabeth, 41

Cara is not guilty, and trimming the ivy is a good way to deter foxes. There are so many other things Danny could do for local wildlife: ditch the astroturf, put in a hedgehog highway, plant some wildflowers, get a bird feeder …
Melissa, 37

Now you be the judge

In our online poll, tell us: should Cara learn to love Mr Fox?

The poll closes on Thursday 6 June at 9am BST

Last week’s result

We asked whether Edith should take her partner Eddie’s parents’ furniture for their new flat, even though she thinks it’s ugly.

39% of you said Edith is guilty – she should put the issue to bed
61% of you said Edith is not guilty – Eddie is being an armchair critic