Jessie J Reflects On The 'Overwhelming' Pain She Felt Following Her Miscarriage Last Year

Photo credit: Matt Winkelmeyer - Getty Images
Photo credit: Matt Winkelmeyer - Getty Images

Article updated on 22/08/22: Jessie J reflects on the pain she felt following her miscarriage while reiterating her yearning to become a mother

Jessie J has reflected on the pain she felt following her miscarriage last year.

In a post she shared to Instagram on August 19, the 'Nobody's Perfect' singer wrote out the list of things she wanted by the time she reached 30.

The now 34-year-old began: 'When I was 16 years old I wrote a list of things I wanted by the time I was 30 [sic].'

She then revealed: '1st thing on the list was to be a Mum.

'Now I’m nearly 35 and some days the grief of losing a baby and it not being easy to have one, and wanting my life in that way to look completely different to what it looks like right now just overwhelms me.

'I know it’s healthy and normal to have days of complete sadness and to honour all the feelings that come up, good and bad. The bad isn’t often at all and yes I could go through this moment right now today alone in private and usually do, but today I am here.'

She concluded: 'Because I know thousands of people around the 🌎 feel just like I do. Maybe you read this and feel the love I have for you. I hope you can. Connecting is key. Hugging you all [sic].'

Her post, which has received a lot of love from fans, including Daisy Lowe who wrote: 'Massive hug- I feel you babe! [sic].'

Ella Mai commented: 'We love you! [sic].'

Article updated on 13/12/21: Jessie J has shared a heartfelt message alongside a selfie weeks after her miscarriage.

On Monday the British singer shared a photo of herself on Instagram, which was the first picture she had taken of herself since finding out about her miscarriage last month.

'First picture I’ve taken of myself in weeks. Honouring all my heavy emotions but holding on tightly to hope, happiness and joy the most,' she wrote in the post's accompanying caption.

A few days earlier the singer has posted a video in which she opened up in depth about her emotions.

The accompanying caption read: 'I posted about losing my baby just hours after I was told. I reacted in work mode. It’s safe to say I sometimes pour more energy into creating an unhealthy process of my own pain in front of a camera, than I do acknowledging it behind one in real time. "The show must go on" mentality reacted before the human in me did. [sic]'

Writing about her live performance in Los Angeles, which she carried out hours after learning of her miscarriage, she highlighted what she really wanted to do at the time.

'I just needed to f*cking cry and fall into someone’s arms and sob,' she said. 'I have never experienced physical pain and trauma or felt loneliness like it. This has changed me forever. In the most, heartbreaking, but beautiful way.

'It’s put life into perspective in a way nothing else ever has.'

The singer concluded her caption by warmly addressing women who have gone through a similar experience. She also shared touching words and series of quotes.

On of the quotes read: 'I believe that every single person has to go through something that completely destroys them in order to figure out who they really are.'

Article originally published on 25/11/21: Jessie J has been seen out for the first time in public since revealing the devastating news that she has suffered a miscarriage of her first pregnancy.

On Wednesday, the 33-year-old performer shared a heartbreaking photo on Instagram. In the post, the 'Price Tag' singer can be seen holding up a positive pregnancy test with a tearful face.

The caption accompanying the photo reads: ‘Yesterday morning I was laughing with a friend saying “seriously though how am I going to get through my gig in LA tomorrow night without telling the whole audience I am pregnant”. By yesterday afternoon I was dreading the thought of getting through the gig without breaking down after going for my 3rd scan and being told there was no longer a heartbeat.

‘This morning. I feel like I have no control of my emotions.’

The songstress, who announced her split from dancer boyfriend of seven months, Max Pham, in October, had planned to ‘have a baby on [her] own,’ because a baby is 'all [she] ever wanted and life is short.'

Jessie J had previously opened up about her fertility struggles. She even revealed during a concert in 2018 that, when she was just 26, doctors told her she may not be able to have children.

She also wrote in her recent Instagram caption: ‘To get pregnant was a miracle in itself and an experience I will never forget and I know I will have again. I’m still in shock, the sadness is overwhelming. But I know I am strong, and I know I will be ok.'

The Nobody’s Perfect singer described her loss as ‘the loneliest feeling in the world’, before sending a message to other women going through a similar tragedy.

‘I also know millions of women all over the world have felt this pain and way worse. I feel connected to those of you I know and those of you I don’t,’ she concluded.

Despite her loss, Jessie J went on to perform a concert in Los Angeles on the same day she learned that she had miscarried.

‘I will see you tonight LA. I may crack less jokes but my heart will be in the room,' she said.

Fans have posted videos of the singer performing an intimate gig at The Hotel Cafe in the Californian capital.

Though many in her shoes would have cancelled the appearance, by way of explanation for going ahead, J said: 'I know singing tonight will help me'.

‘I started singing when I was young for joy, to fill my soul and self love therapy, that hasn’t ever changed and I have to process this my way,' she said.

A guide published by the New York Times states that a third scan might typically be required when an expectant mother experiences bleeding or cramping.

In the UK, there are an estimated 250,000 miscarriages every year, most of which are thought to be caused by abnormal chromosomes, causing the baby not to develop properly. However, most women can go on to have a successful pregnancy in the future, confirms the BBC.

Jessie J concluded her Instagram post with a message for other women, sharing a quote from poet Şeyda Noir, which read: 'Sometimes love won't be enough to make it work, and that's OK. It doesn't mean that you've failed.'

The Voice coach has also said: ‘I want to be honest and true and not hide what I’m feeling. I deserve that. I want to be as myself as I can be in this moment. Not just for the audience but for myself and my little baby that did its best.'

This isn't the first time Jessie J has championed positivity following sad news.

After her break-up with Pham, the singer took to Instagram to let people know that ‘nothing dramatic happened’, between the pair, before adding that Pham is an ‘amazing’ man.

At the time, she also reassured her followers that ‘we are both happy, living and loving our lives'.

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