An introvert's guide to surviving Christmas

Emma Clarke
·Contributor
·5-min read
Young sad woman sitting near the Christmas tree in kitchen
If the Christmas chaos becomes too much, fret not – we've got you covered. (Getty Images)

If you have an aversion to small talk and being surrounded by lots of people, Christmas can be a tricky time to navigate. Not only do you have to endure round-the-clock company over an extended period, you likely have less privacy and space to be alone and recharge your batteries.

Ironically, you aren't alone in, well, wanting to be alone, either – with 50% of Brits identifying as an introvert and a further 9% saying they are "very introverted". Of course, being an introvert doesn’t mean you are anti-social. Rather, it means you feel more energised by solitude than by social interaction.

As psychologist Dannielle Haig, director of DH Consulting, explains: "While extroverts draw energy from social settings, introverts need time alone to recharge. Despite what many think, introversion is not about shyness or social anxiety, but rather how someone’s energy is replenished. Introverts tend to prefer deep, meaningful conversations over small talk and may find prolonged exposure to large groups draining."

Psychiatrist Dr Sham Singh also states that preferring your own company or not having a "big personality" often means you thrive in environments where you can reflect, create, or simply enjoy the peace of being alone.

"It's not a sign of something being 'wrong', but, rather, a natural inclination toward internal focus and a preference for low-stimulation settings. It can also reflect a desire for authenticity since most introverts value substantial contacts rather than superficial interactions. Accepting your inner self can result in a more complete and whole life," he says.

Likewise, Dr Simon Le Clerc of HealthCare In Mind reiterates that introverts tend to add a quieter, thoughtful presence to interactions. "This can be a tremendous asset, as introverts often listen deeply, reflect carefully, and contribute meaningfully to conversations," he shares.

Friends Drinking Red Wine And Talking At Christmas Turkey Dinner Table
Introverts may find it difficult to be seen and heard – especially round a busy table. (Getty Images)

Haig says it’s okay to say no to events that feel too much. "Politely decline or suggest a smaller gathering that feels more manageable," she adds.

Haig also recommends driving yourself to events where possible, so you are not reliant on other people if you want to leave. She also states that by communicating beforehand that you’ll be leaving at a certain time, you will have peace of mind. This is especially key if you’re going to an event with a partner or friend.

Before or after social events, or during the big day itself, Haig says to try and block out time to be alone so you have space to recharge. "A 15-minute walk or some quiet reflection time can make a huge difference," she says.

Dr Le Clerc adds: "If you feel comfortable to do so, taking on a quick chore like clearing the table, doing a round of drinks or even the washing up can provide a great cover for breaking away from the group for a short time to recharge – and the host will appreciate the help."

A person is engaged in washing dishes in a small kitchen, wearing bright yellow gloves. The sink is filled with various dishes, utensils, and cleaning supplies, showcasing a busy domestic environment. Sunlight filters in through the window, illuminating the space.
Taking on tasks like the washing up can score you some much-needed alone time. (Getty Images)

Dr Singh also says that it can help to focus on meaningful interactions with one or two people rather than engaging with everyone. "Small, intentional interactions can also be more manageable than large, chaotic ones," he says.

"If you feel overlooked, assert yourself gently but firmly. Phrases like 'I’d like to share my thoughts' or 'I’m not comfortable with this, but thank you for asking' can help. Practising ahead of time can build confidence. Remember, your voice matters as much as anyone else's," Dr Le Clerc suggests.

Similarly, Haig suggests finding natural pauses in conversation to get your point across. ''In fast-paced group conversations, it can be hard for introverts to 'jump in'. Instead, wait for a natural pause, then share your perspective. You’ll often be heard more clearly in moments of quiet."

Dr Singh recommends practices such as deep breathing or meditation, which can help create a sense of calm amidst the chaos.

Young multiracial woman reading a book at home, drinking tea sitting on the sofa in cozy living room. Lifestyle concept.
If you can, take yourself off for some peace and quiet – and do something for you, like reading a book. (Getty Images)

"Engaging in activities that you genuinely enjoy, such as reading, journaling, or taking a walk, can also serve as restorative moments. And recognising that it's okay to put your mind first is key to balance," Dr Singh adds.

Dr Le Clerc reiterates the importance of sticking to your routine – even during the festive period. He also suggests creating a morning or evening ritual for yourself. "Even something as simple as a quiet cup of tea and 20 minutes of reading or gentle movement, like yoga, can provide a sanctuary of calm."

"Let family know you’re 'checking emails' or 'having a quick work call' if you’re struggling to find alone time. It’s an easy way to carve out privacy in a busy household," Haig says.

If you’re about to head into a busy day, start the day with a calming activity like a quiet breakfast alone, reading, or stretching, Haig suggests. This helps to "fill up" your energy reserves.

If you’re sharing a space with lots of people, headphones can provide a "bubble" of calm. Listening to music, white noise, or a podcast can help you reset.

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