How To Cope When Your Best Friend Hates Your New Partner

[Photo: popcosmo]

So, you’ve found yourself a new squeeze and you’re completely smitten. There’s just one problem, your bestie doesn’t like them. 

It’s a profoundly upsetting experience when the two people who matter the most to you don’t get along . You hang out with one, you feel like you’re betraying the other, yet spending time in a group seems impossible. 

Then there’s the fear of losing your friendship or maybe you get mad at your buddy and push them away, or perhaps you feel the desperate need to prove your partner’s a good person. 

Unless your bestie’s a sociopath, their reasons for not liking your new partner probably come from a place of genuine love.

Give your friend a second chance.

It could be your significant other made a terrible first impression on your bestie. We’re only human and from time to time we get misunderstood. 

See if you can make it work.

Gently try to change your bestie’s mind about your new partner. Give them the opportunity to really get to know one and other by planning a fun outing and seeing what happens. Unless they’re sworn enemies there’s no reason they shouldn’t be up for giving this a chance.

Don’t force things.

If the second chance and the hangouts don’t work, don’t fret. You can’t force your friend to like your partner and too much pressure might push them away.

Talk. 

If you reckon your buddy genuinely has your best interests at heart it might be worth asking them exactly what it is about your significant other they don’t like. Check in with yourself - do they have a valid point? It may just be they’re trying to protect you from harm. 

Let your bestie know how you’re feeling.

If your bestie’s behaviour is getting you down talk to them about it. They may have no idea the way they’re acting is making you feel bad. Choose your words carefully, this isn’t about pointing out each other’s shortfalls. You guys don’t have to agree but carefully worded honesty is way less toxic than letting hard feelings drive you apart. 

Have you neglected your friendship?

Sometimes we get so caught up in the excitement of a new relationship we ‘disappear’ from our friends, forgetting there’s a world outside. Your bestie might be feeling a little left out since you got involved and may just need some TLC. Give them a call, hang out, let them know you care.

Keep things cordial. 

If you’ve tried all of the above you might just have to accept these two aren’t going to get along. Keep your love life and your friendship separate. You don’t have to hang out in a threesome. Okay, so this scenario isn’t the stuff that dreams are made of but if you value your friendship hold on to it.

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