Groom's Parents Want His Fiancée to Wear Same Wedding Dress that His Dad's Late First Wife Wore: ‘Gloomy and Weird’
A groom-to-be is fighting with his mom and dad after they suggested his fiancé wear the wedding dress worn by his father's first wife who died over 30 years ago
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A groom upset at his weddingA groom-to-be is fighting with his mom and dad after they suggested his fiancé wear the wedding dress worn by his father's first wife, who died more than 30 years ago.
In a now-viral post shared to Reddit, the groom-to-be says that his father lost his first wife (whom he refers to as "Mia" in the anonymous post) over three decades ago.
"It is a very long and complicated situation but to summarize it: my mother is the second on his heart because he's always said that the love of his life is Mia and he always made it clear," the man writes in the post.
The man's father even "still wears his wedding ring with Mia in one hand," he writes, adding that Mia is such a part of the family that his mom "bakes a cake for her birthday."
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"I've been raised that way, kind of having two mothers... Even if it wasn't like that. It was not a healthy childhood but luckily I have gone to therapy to work on all the issues that this caused," the man adds.
Now that he's getting married, the man writes that his fiancé has inquired about wearing the dress worn by his mother.
When he broached the subject with his mom, she was initially "very excited," even allowing his fiancé to try on her dress.
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Bride Trying on Vintage DressBut a month later, his mom had another idea: that his fiancé wear Mia's wedding dress, instead.
"My fiancée told her no, she feels a connection with my mother and not with Mia, she doesn't even know Mia," the man writes.
Now, his mother is "trying to convince" his fiancé to wear Mia's dress "to commemorate her and for her to be present too because she was someone really special."
"Again; I never met [Mia], I don't know who she was. My fiancée told me that Mia is a total stranger to her," the man writes.
He adds that he told his mother that his fiancé won't be wearing Mia's dress — "it even seems gloomy and weird to me but I have been raised around Mia's memory that sometimes I don't even understand if I am exaggerating or not."
"Being raised in this kind of way sometimes makes me feel confused about what is normal and not in a family, it would be normal to ask my fiancée to wear Mia's dress in my family dynamic, but I don't know what someone who was raised normally would do and if I am a bad person for not wanting to have done it," the man adds in his post.
Many commenters on Reddit agree that the request to wear Mia's dress is "creepy," with one writing, "Why would your fiancee want to wear the dress of woman neither you or she has a connection? No offense to your parents but it's a weird and creepy request and your father wanting you to have some sort of in memoriam at your wedding to his deceased wife is odd."
Others have argued that the behavior from the poster's parents is "toxic and delusional."
"I’m sure your mom is not happy, but the more her kids stand up against having to hear about 'dad’s first love' (which is just inappropriate to talk about SO often that the kids all know about this) the more your mom might realize how much she’s always been a stand in to the life your dad wanted to have," wrote another commenter.
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