Groom in His 60s Marrying Woman in Her 40s — and They Expect Bride’s Retired Art Teacher Mom to Pay for Wedding

The couple's alleged demand has spurred an online debate, with one Reddit user noting, "I can't help but feel like this isn't right"

One engaged couple expects family to fork over cash for their wedding, even though they have the means to pay for the celebration themselves.

In a recent post on Reddit's popular "Wedding Shaming," a user explained that the bride in her 40s and groom who is in his 60s are expecting the bride's mom, a retired art teacher who is financially struggling, to pay for their wedding.

The user notes that the couple are both financially successful in their respective careers, speculating that he “must be making around $200-300K/year,” and the bride “also makes probably around $200k/year, maybe more.”

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They went on to explain that the bride's mother lives on a fixed income and is, as a result, “always budgeting her groceries [and] stressed about finances.”

Although the mother is “happy to pay for her daughter's wedding,” the user remarks that because the couple is older, they should not have asked her to “pay for everything except the rehearsal dinner the night before.” The user also added that they canceled the rehearsal dinner, speculating to “save money.”

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“They are well into adulthood and have a double-income of around 1/3 to 1/2 a million/year. Despite this, they are always stressed and complaining about money,” wrote the Reddit account. Additionally, the post said that the couple asked the bride's mother to help them buy a new home, “which she obviously cannot afford to do.”

The poster explained that the bride’s family “feels that this is wrong considering how much the bride's mother is struggling.” The user added that they are personally “shocked” the groom “isn’t just offering to foot most of the bill, since he's had a 40-year long career and makes a ton of money.”

“I wish them both happiness, but I can't help but feel like this isn't right, especially for the much older and wealthier groom,” the user concluded.

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Several others were quick to agree with the original poster. "No offense, but the mother of the bride needs to grow a spine and refuse," wrote one user.

Another added: "If you are getting married at 40 and 60. You pay for your own wedding."

One commenter proposed that the mother could offer to contribute to the cost in a “transparent” manner and “if the couple wants a more extravagant celebration, they can pay for the rest.”

But the couple did have defenders. "Maybe the bride or groom have debts that you don’t know about?" said one. "If they’re always stressed about money, it doesn’t sound like they’re very good with it. Obviously, it’s not for the mother to be paying for the wedding. She doesn’t need to, and if she pays more than she can afford, that’s on her for going along with it.

"The bride and groom should be having the wedding that they can afford," they said. "It’s all a very strange situation."

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