What the Godmother of Rom-Coms, Nora Ephron, Taught Me About Style

During my twenties, spent gallivanting around North Brooklyn’s finest (er, divy-est) bars and music venues, my style was proudly vibrant color-clashing chaos with a side of cleavage. I yearned to be hip, chic—a “cool girl.” I had to fit the image. But, naturally, as I got older—and through the pandemic—my affinity for Reformation going-out tops, Free People blouses, and skinny jeans evolved into sports bras, oversized sweaters, and leggings. Somehow, I found myself at the extreme other end of the proverbial sartorial spectrum: I had found contentment in my own, slightly more elevated version of pajamas. Essentially, the former “giving up” section of my wardrobe had become my safety net, especially post-Covid—after so much social distancing and isolation, these clothes felt, at times, like my closest friends.

Then, in early 2022, I began writing what would become my first book: Nora Ephron at the Movies. There’s nothing quite like diving into Ephron’s psyche to make you psycho-analyze your own sartorial choices. None of the revered writer-filmmaker’s female protagonists would have been caught dead in a tube top and a mini skirt or a sports bra and leggings. How were they able to embrace peak-coziness and still look so en-vogue?

Ephron, who reinvented the rom-com in the ‘90s, crafted love stories both aspirational and attainable. The familiarity of Harry and Sally’s will-they-won’t-they relationship in When Harry Met Sally is like throwing on your chunkiest sweater; the longing between Annie and Sam in Sleepless in Seattle feels like sinking into a favorite pair of joggers under a thick blanket; and Joe and Kathleen’s early digital romance echoes the embrace of a knit cardigan.

The wardrobe of Ephron’s characters feel as lived-in as the relationships. In When Harry Met Sally, Ephron embraces the late ‘80s spectrum of sweaters (chunky, cable-knit, fisherman, turtleneck) and mom jeans, straight-leg denim and boxy blazers. Sleepless in Seattle was more representative of the early ‘90s, and raised her signature coziness to another level with cotton sweatsuits, maxi skirts, cardigans, and trench coats. In You’ve Got Mail, Ephron’s aesthetic took on a bookish twist with sweater sets, turtlenecks, jumpers, and pencil skirts. Notably, Ephron’s own style mirrored that of her characters—her favorite item of clothing was a black Chanel turtleneck.

What added to this approachability was that Ephron’s leads were notably not models. Ryan, while inarguably conventionally beautiful, is the ultimate girl-next-door; Hanks and Crystal are more everyman than heartthrob. It’s been 35 years and the general public is still thirsting over Harry crouched down in a cream fisherman’s sweater. Women are still vying to look as chic as Kathleen in a ¾-sleeve turtleneck or Sally in a bowler hat.

There is an endlessly timeless appeal to the looks Ephron touted in her films—so much so that they’ve become annual internet fodder. Once the leaves begin to fall and Starbucks announces the return of its Pumpkin Spice Latte, TikTok, X, and Instagram flood with memes celebrating “Nora Ephron” (or “Meg Ryan”) fall. Seeing an influx of images featuring Kathleen bundled up and carrying a pumpkin or Annie gripping a pen in a cocoa-colored blazer on my timeline is like watching the leaves change in Central Park.

While diving into the breadth of Ephron’s work, I learned that the aesthetic of her films never really went out of fashion. There was nothing spectacular or extraordinary about her wardrobe decisions, and yet, every year like clockwork, we aspire to embody the snuggly, smart ease of Ephron’s characters. What I learned was, not only did she redefine the rom-com, but the style icon, too.

So, instead of shaming myself for my pandemic-era shift to my personal brand of cozy, I have reframed my thinking. Maybe my turtleneck and leggings look is the 2020s version of Harry and Sally’s fisherman sweaters and straight-leg jeans? Perhaps I could elevate my outfit with a designer knit and ease back into real pants with palazzos? Maybe, if I’m feeling really inspired, adding a tweed blazer à la Sally or Annie could make me feel a little more put-together and a lot less like I’d given up. Just swapping one item of my outfit—like a blazer or a hat—could take me from rut to somewhat stylish human. I realized that whenever I was feeling fashionably lost, returning to Nora Ephron’s aesthetic was the best way to re-center my style—and perspective. All I had to do was add a little bit of that rom-com magic to my wardrobe.

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