The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Nov. 2-8)
Kids may say the darndest things, but parentstweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humor lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
Told the toddler that if she finished her veggies, should could have some candy and she immediately threw the veggies in the trash
— Trey (@treydayway) November 8, 2024
Have kids they said pic.twitter.com/CRHdUBZ7GZ
— meghan (@deloisivete) November 3, 2024
My kid says there aren’t enough pajama days in her life, and same, girl, same.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) November 4, 2024
My daughter and I are currently fighting because, and I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, I don’t “care about her enough to buy the expensive toilet paper”
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) November 7, 2024
yo my daughter took her first steps just the other day and now she’s walking around the the house like she’s been doing it her whole life
The audacity— ᔕᴀᴍᴀɴᴛʜᴀ ᗰᴀʀɪᴊᴜᴀɴᴀ (@Sammi_Sativa) November 7, 2024
My daughter was doing a project where she had to make a cell for a science project so I reminded her that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell and her eye roll was audible.
— Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) November 5, 2024
Thanks to daylight savings time, my kids now have an extra hour to fight with each other.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) November 4, 2024
As a parent I have the skills of a drug smuggler but for the good snacks I don’t wanna share with my kid
— Lottie-pop 🍭 (@Lottie_Poppie) November 4, 2024
It’s my birthday morning and both my kids are mad because we are making them eat homemade cinnamon rolls and taking them to a playground. 🙏🏻
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) November 2, 2024
Went to P-T conferences yesterday and my 9yo was a hit with her teachers. She’s sweet, kind and hardworking. They even said “Great job mom and dad”.
This is the same 9yo who I once told to stop being loud, so she spitefully told Alexa to fart 47 times.— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) November 7, 2024
Autumn with kids and dogs, when you rake as many leaves out of your yard as you sweep out of your house
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) November 4, 2024
The kids woke up and asked who won the election. I told them and my 5yo looked distraught and said "but what if he poops in our laundry?" And I wanted to say "he's not gonna poop in our laundry" but can I honestly promise that??
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) November 6, 2024
A mom at the park told me she simply put her kids to bed at their normal bedtime and they slept until a normal time today, if anyone else needs help coping with daylight savings
— sarah (@sarahradz_) November 5, 2024
[church]
[reverent, soft music]
Me, sotto voce: This cracker is called unleavened bread, and we are going to eat it to remember Jesus' body and how He died for us.
4yo, fortississimo: IS IT A PEANUT BUTTER CRACKER?— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) November 3, 2024
My husband wants to know why the kids are his and not “ours” when they do something wrong, as if I make the rules.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) November 2, 2024
mom, can you pick me up? i said "that's dope" in front of people in their 40s & now i am getting mocked at this public park
— Em (@EmAsInMoney) November 5, 2024
me: did you see all of the leaves have changed colors?
8: you know I’m not blind, right?— Dan (@dadopotamus) November 4, 2024
Apparently this is Godzilla and not a rooster, and now my 6yo is mad at me pic.twitter.com/woEHCuK5CB
— meghan (@deloisivete) November 7, 2024
8: mom, there’s a giant peanut in my new bathing suit
me: that’s a panty liner sticker— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) November 8, 2024
The scariest part of teaching a kid how to drive is all the driving.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) November 8, 2024
In search of a lawyer who handles the most heinous of crimes. My 4yo woke me up at 5:30 this morning by sneezing in my face and then hopped away like a bunny.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) November 4, 2024
My daughter was talking about Bono from YouTube and now we need an emergency family meeting.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) November 4, 2024
9yo: Mommy, what’s your superpower?
Me: I can run on zero sleep and still be polite now would you please just fucking get dressed.— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) November 4, 2024
