‘I feel I’m addicted’: readers on their relationships with their phones

Doomscrolling, mindlessly cycling through apps and feeling an urge to check your phone – does this sound familiar?

If so, you’re far from alone. Many smartphone users have difficult relationships with their screen time, a wide-ranging Guardian project has found, with many recognising they are unhappy with their dependence on their cellphone but feeling unable to cut down their use.

Concentration was a key area that the project’s 400 respondents, from more than 30 countries across five continents, felt had been affected by their smartphone and social media use. Respondents described a powerful mental impact when they had been sucked in by a notification or scrolling. “Hours will pass without knowing it, and when I try to look away or do something else, my brain feels numb and empty, mindlessly taking itself back to the phone,” Elliot, 28, in California said.

Others spoke of struggling to focus for long enough to read, despite previously having been passionate about books. Rather than being an easy way to unwind, for many, watching television without texting or scrolling has become a challenge. “Watching TV by itself is something I can’t really do, I’ll still have my phone in hand playing games, chatting, following up on emails,” said Louise Cooke, a 45-year-old in Bavaria, Germany.

The difference between using devices intentionally versus mindlessly was also emphasised – with people stressing how easy it was to fall into the latter category. “I sometimes catch myself mindlessly scrolling through Instagram videos and thinking to myself ‘why am I doing it? I’m not even paying attention to the content’ and … yet not being able to just put the phone down. It’s like someone else is controlling my body,” Alena, in her 40s in British Columbia, Canada, shared.

With its 10-second clips and fine-tuned algorithm, TikTok unsurprisingly ranked high among the apps singled out by respondents as corrosive to focus. While Patricia Finney mostly used her phone to read and was happy with her screen time, the 65-year-old from Cornwall, UK, identified TikTok as particularly compulsive. “When I’ve been staring at funny cat videos on Tiktok, I can’t focus so well. If I let myself, I go into a black hole with TikTok – I don’t find any of the other things so addictive.”

Research has linked social media use to adverse psychological effects, including body image issues. Earlier this year, the US surgeon general warned that it can pose a “profound risk of harm” to children and teenagers’ mental wellbeing, and readers shared concerns about their children and grandchildren’s phone use. Children’s screen time increased during the pandemic, with a study finding that UK primary-age children were using devices for 83 minutes a day more.

Parents raised concerns about very young children. “My nearly two-year-old son desperately wants to watch videos and listen to music on my phone and I am very concerned it’s harming his development,” Megan, 36, in North Carolina, said.

Predictably, parents with teenagers appeared most concerned. “I have a 14-year-old stepson whose eyes are constantly glued to his phone. We went to the cinema [a while] ago and he couldn’t keep his phone in his pocket. I’m worried about his attention span and mental health a bit since he uses TikTok all the time,” said Andy, in his late 20s and from Scotland. .

While research suggests generation Z clock up the most daily screen time, younger generations were not alone in struggling to moderate their screen time. “People use phones as a social crutch. My dad is really bad at leaning on it. If he’s grumpy he’ll just sit on his phone and not participate in conversation,” said one woman in her 40s from New South Wales, Australia. .

Olivia, 33 and from Pennsylvania, was concerned about her mother who “loses so much time to Instagram”, she said, adding: “She gets caught up in the suggested videos, just lots of junk. I worry about what impact it will have on her mind as she gets older.”

Some respondents shared that their excessive phone use worsened their feelings of anxiety, while a few even said they had suffered physical side-effects such as headaches and eye strain from spending too many hours looking at screens. “I feel I’m addicted and see no way out,” said Otavio Caixeta, 39 and from Brasília, Brazil. “I have developed an anxiety disorder which I partly attribute to smartphone usage.”

The reliance on technology to keep us connected and entertained during the pandemic appears to have continued long after measures were relaxed, polls of adults and children in the UK and US suggest. Many respondents confirmed their phone use “rocketed” at this time, developing into a dependence that has persisted as normality resumed. “Through the worst days of the pandemic, I was glued to my phone – particularly Twitter. I started to feel like my perception of humanity was shifting negatively and I felt anxious and depressed after long stretches,” said Kate, 41, from Toronto, Canada.

While messaging and social media apps can make us feel closer to loved ones, particularly those who are far away, a number of people described how their relationship to their smartphone made them feel less connected to the world around them. “I feel less present in my life than I used to, and that lots of my life is spent living in my head, rather than my body,” said a woman in their 30s from south-west England. Similarly, Em, 55 and from Kenya, described feeling “unhappy” about “not being in the moment” due to their cellphone use.

What’s more, several identified ways in which they felt an overreliance on their smartphone was damaging their relationships with their friends and family. Although she admitted her family were likely to accuse her of the same behaviour, Sneha, 34, from Ahmedabad, India, said: “It annoys me how some of my family members are constantly glued to their phone reading and watching news, videos, from the break of day, to the last thing at night.”

“It’s annoying when the only break in a busy day is lost to other family members scrolling instead of communicating,” agreed Jane Easton, 61 and in New Zealand – though she too conceded that others “would say the same about [her] on occasion”.

Mindless scrolling was something many had observed in themselves and others. “Some of my friends will be scrolling posts for no reason, it’s just a habit. They are not paying attention when they do that, they’re not even reading them - it’s just an automatic movement,” said Maha, 30, in Jordan. Maha says she has tried to limit her screen time by putting her phone in another room, but is still often tempted to use it, adding: “My mind plays tricks on me.”

The feeling of losing an hour (or more) to meaningless scrolling through Instagram or flicking through TikTok will be familiar to many – and respondents shared that it made them feel unproductive, low and even that they were “scrolling [their] life away”.

But there were reasons for optimism too, and many told the Guardian about the steps they were taking to achieve a healthier relationship with their devices. Quitting or restricting access to social media was a method used by several, using the “grayscale” function to make their screens black and white, as well as setting limits to their daily screen time.

Some however, went a step further, swapping their iPhone for an old-school flip phone. “I noticed how much the quality of my life improved,” said Dona Evans, in her 70s and in Dorset. “I never miss my phone and don’t need it.” Admittedly, opting for a “dumbphone” may not be practicable for all – and some people highlighted barriers to doing this, including their jobs and an increasingly digital society that requires smartphones to access, for example, banking.

And others stressed that not all screen time is equal. Language learning, news and podcast apps were prized by many respondents as useful and convenient ways to expand their knowledge of the world around them – as long as they are used mindfully.

“I’m happy with my phone use, contingent on how I use it,” said Toby, 34, from Galway, Ireland. “There’s a very different feeling to using your phone out of necessity versus out of impulse. When I use it to stave off boredom, it feels so hollow because I’ve already tended to all the essential and enjoyable aspects of it and now I’m just mining it for dopamine.”