Dr Michael Mosley’s wife says she’s trying to ‘smile and laugh’ through grief
Dr Michael Mosley's wife has spoken of trying to also "smile and laugh" while she copes with the "overwhelming" grief following her husband's death.
An autopsy revealed the TV doctor died of natural causes last month aged 67 after he went missing on the Greek island of Symi.
Ahead of BBC’s Just One Thing Day on Friday in tribute to Mosley, Dr Clare Bailey Mosley opened up on social media about "putting their lives back together" after his death.
But as well as sharing how difficult it was, she also discussed how the family are also able to "smile and laugh too," as they also comfort each other through the sadness.
"We are trying to put our lives back together without Michael and it’s very hard," she wrote on Instagram.
"Not all the time. We can smile and laugh too. As well as comfort each other," she continued.
"Grief can feel overwhelming. Light and beautiful. Catch you by surprise. Feel like the weight of a stone or a sharp pain. It changes unexpectedly.
"As people often say, it’s a journey, not all sad and you take each day at a time."
Dr Mosley's wife went on to say they were incredibly grateful for the "heartfelt thoughts and kindness extended to us as a family".
"The extraordinary outpouring of grief and gratitude for Michael and how he has changed so many lives is very moving," she wrote.
Why it's ok to feel happiness while mourning
While many may believe they should act and feel a certain way when mourning the loss of a loved one, the truth is that grief is a complicated and highly personal experience, with each individual grieving in their own personal way.
Some of those going through a bereavement may feel like they shouldn’t have any happy times, others may feel guilty after experiencing moments of joy and laughter, as if it is somehow a betrayal of the loved-one they are mourning.
However, experts say finding joy during grief is not only possible, but it can also help with the grieving process.
"Laughter is important in dealing with grief as not all memories about the person are sad ones," explains chartered psychologist Dr Mark Rackley.
"Grief obviously fills our life with sadness, but this is not reflective of the actual life that the deceased had."
Dr Rackley says experiencing humour, laughter and happiness doesn’t mean that grief goes away. Instead, it can act as something of a distraction from the sadness.
That feeling of loss will remain with you, but experiencing happy times may offer a small dose of comfort while you continue to mourn.
"There are many happy memories of the person and times when we laughed with them," he explains. "It is important to connect with those happy times as they help dilute the sadness of grief."
How to find joy during the grieving process
Remember the good times
When dealing with grief, we may need to connect with physical reminders of the happy times we had with our deceased loved ones. "This can be photos, videos and messages from them," explains Dr Rackley.
"We can also as a group of friends and family talk about times when they made us laugh and share those memories."
Celebrate your loved one
Dr Rackley says the Irish have a wake tradition where bereaved friends and relatives sing and laugh about the life of the person.
"This is to celebrate their life and make the grief less intense," he explains.
Validate your emotions
Acknowledging and validating emotions without judgement is paramount. "Each feeling – be it joy, anger, guilt, or profound sadness – holds its significance and deserves recognition," psychologist Barbara Santini previously told Yahoo Life.
Find joy in normality
Danny Zane, therapist at North London Therapy previously suggested that it can help to keep to your usual schedule including work, any engagements and exercise regimes as much as you can.
"Though, of course, if you need some time first, that's okay," he said.
Seek support
Santini emphasises the importance of seeking support from a network of loved ones, friends, or professional counsellors, which can provide invaluable comfort and guidance, while also helping to find joy.
"Human connection serves as a lifeline in navigating the depths of grief," she says.
Practice self-compassion and patience
Cultivating self-compassion and practising patience is essential for the grieving process, particularly if you're feeling guilty about feelings of happiness. "Healing from bereavement is a nonlinear journey, and allowing oneself the grace to grieve at your own pace is crucial," Santini adds.
Read more about grief
Are there really five stages of grief? (Yahoo Life UK, 7-min read)
How to cope with grief as Kate Garraway confirms death of Derek Draper (Yahoo Life UK, 7-min read)
Michael Palin says he felt ‘lopsided’ after death of his wife: How to cope with male grief (Yahoo Life UK, 5-min read)
