"I Still Remember That Over A Decade Later": Women Are Recalling The One Thing A Guy Did That Made Them Think, "Oh, He's Different" (In A Really Good Way)
While some people use weaponized incompetence or gaslighting techniques in their relationships, there are still others out there who actually have a heart made of gold. So when Reddit user No-Buy-9382 asked: "Ladies of Reddit, what’s something a guy has done (intentional or not) that instantly made you think, 'Wow, he’s different' in a good way?" I wanted to share the stories because they are so dang heartwarming. Here are some of them below.
1."He broke up with me because he was moving out of state for a job, and I just wasn't going to be able to follow him. He brought me flowers, snacks, dinner, and cards, and I don't remember what else to soften the blow. When he came back to visit, I was struggling hard, as in I could barely afford to feed myself. When he stopped by to see me, he had arms full of groceries to stock my fridge and pantry for weeks. He also kept trying to give me cash, but I refused. After he left, I found money stuck under something on my counter (I can't remember what). He died a few years later in a car accident. Chris, you were one of a kind. I'll never miss the opportunity to tell the world what a uniquely amazing human you were."
"This made me cry.
My ex also passed away unexpectedly. Seizure. He was INCREDIBLE. I was in residency and would cancel dates all the time because I was exhausted and/or overworked. Not only did he understand, he would get a week’s worth of food delivered to my apartment every time I canceled. Flowers on almost every single date.
John was special. I hope you find solace and happiness after your ex’s passing."
2."When my husband was my boyfriend, I noticed that he always acknowledged everyone in the room. For instance, whenever we were in a room with my entire family, he would approach absolutely everyone: my dad, mom, sister, cousins, uncles, aunts, and friends, and be able to establish a conversation and a relationship with them eventually. Even my relatives’ dog knew him to be the only one who could set aside some time just to pet him."
"At first, I thought that my boyfriend was just a social being, which I was appreciative of seeing as how I personally have always been a socially inept, awkward individual, but eventually, this gift of his reaped dividends, too, as when a close cousin of mine, let’s say, fell in with the bad sort of crowd and was in desperate need of help and support, the only person she felt comfortable reaching out to, was my boyfriend, who was then able to pass word to the rest of the family, and also rescue her."
3."On one of our first dates, a teen waitress spilled a whole glass of water on him when it was super busy, and she was rushing about. She started apologizing with tears almost running down her face, and he took the time to console her, not even worrying about his clothes. He gave her a moment to breathe without the other customers by pretending to look busy with her before she went on her way feeling better. I’ve seen too many wait staff get treated poorly, but watching him take care of her leads me to believe he’s going to be an amazing father one day."
4."In high school, one of my guy friends who liked me baked me a big plate of chocolate chip cookies and randomly gave it to me one day. I finished the whole plate during one class, and he was impressed and also a bit horrified. I thought it was super cute and unusual for a dude to bake someone cookies. He and I have been together for 16 years, and we have been married for almost seven years. How he baked me cookies is one thing I'll never forget."
5."I’m a type 1 diabetic, and I wear a pump, which is basically a machine that helps track my blood sugar and give me insulin accordingly. When my blood sugar gets too low or too high, the pump makes noises (a low tone for low bs and a high tone for high bs). My SO figured those tones out."
"One night, I was sitting on the couch scrolling, and my pump signaled I had low blood sugar. He was in the kitchen and, without a word being said, went to the fridge and brought me a juice box. I didn’t know he knew, and it felt really good to feel understood and that someone was actually taking the time to know me and my disability. We had only been dating for two to three months at this point."
"I'm a type 1 diabetic, too. Three to four months into dating my now wife, she came to me one day saying she'd done research into the CGM I use and said if I ever wanted to, she would like to install the app that lets her see my levels via my phone. She said she knew I could look after myself, but she liked the idea of someone else one day also being able to help.
Fuck me, I fell in love so quickly. (One-year anniversary is coming up.)"
6."My husband genuinely listens when I talk about hobbies he doesn't share and remembers what I said about them. It makes me really happy."
"Listening really is a secret superpower. At some point in my early 20s, the 'aha' moment came to me, and I realized that listening was one of the most important skills you can develop.
And not just listening, but intently, honestly, with care and concern.
And man, what a difference it makes in relationships.
And if you need a whimsical illustration, watch this 90-second video.
Another bonus for developing good listening skills is that it's seemingly so RARE among guys that even if you're not the best at it, you stand out among a sea of people."
7."We went to pick up our puppy, and while I was getting the pup settled in the back of the car, I looked back and saw my guy bent down, thanking the mama dog, promising her we would take care of her baby. Been married over 15 years now."
"I went to my boyfriend's house for the first time early on in our relationship. As we were leaving the house, he shouted to his cat, 'Bye Tresy-girl, I love you!' on his way out the door. Not married but will be eventually"
8."When I started dating my guy, he knew how obsessed I was with rocks and beach combing. We live on the beach, and I’ll go look for shells for hours, and he never complains. During the first road trip we took together, he took me to the biggest natural rock formation on the West Coast. Morro Bay. I’m a grown-ass adult, and he never made me feel stupid for my love of rocks and collecting. When we got there, he said, 'I know how much you love rocks, so I brought you to the biggest one I could. You just can’t take this one home, unfortunately' (something along the lines of that). I start crying immediately because I was always made fun of by my previous relationships for it."
9."I went out with this guy I was newly dating, plus three other friends one time. We went to the food court to eat, and all five of us had different food choices, so we went on our own to order. Unfortunately, my food took longer to make, and eventually, I saw the four of them (including the guy I was dating) back at the table with all their food. Finally, when I got my food, I went to our table to see the three of my friends digging on their plates while his food was untouched. I asked, 'Is something wrong with your food? Why haven’t you touched it?' He said, 'I was waiting for you.' I swear, I never forgot that moment. I’m now married to him."
"Let me just add that my food took about five minutes longer than theirs. I was already expecting them to be eating ahead, and I DIDN’T nor EXPECT him or the group to be waiting for me. It was the gesture of him waiting for me while everyone else was eating that made me feel that this guy’s a keeper."
10."When we were young, dating and still living with our respective parents, my car motor blew, and I didn’t have rides to work. He would drop his car off to me after he got out of work in the middle of the night while I was asleep and walk home so I had a way to work in the morning."
"I'd say when we were young, but we’re still pretty young at 25, lol — but we just got married in September after 13 years of dating."
11."Broke into my house to prepare a casserole and leave a note with cooking instructions. I was a busy single mother, and we’d been dating long enough that this wasn’t creepy."
12."On our third date, he walked me to my car but then stopped and said, 'Wait, I have a present for you.' He pulled out a bag, and in it were Stella Ciders. I had told him in passing a couple of weeks prior that they were my favorite drink, and I hadn’t seen them anywhere since college. I was completely floored. We've been dating now for three months, and hopefully, this is it."
13."I was snipping the plastic ring thingie, you know, the thing that a six-pack of drinks comes in. He asked me what I was doing. He’d never heard this before, so I explained. A couple of weeks later, I walked into the kitchen unexpectedly and totally startled him… while he was snipping a plastic thingie. Melted."
14."I was out with friends and got super wasted. I was texting this guy and mentioned it, and he kept telling me to get home safely. While I was out, he asked where I was. I told him. We talked throughout the night and kept in touch. When I was getting ready to go, he had already made the 45-minute drive to me, told me he was outside, and was ready to drive me five minutes to my house — and then back the 45-minute drive home. I have been dating this man now for two years."
15."On my first date with my now husband, we were talking about our families. I told him how I had lunch every Sunday with my grandfather and also spent as much time with him as I could because he meant the world to me. My husband looked at me with such awe and love in his eyes, then proceeded to tell me he had a great aunt he had lunch with every week as well because she was like a second grandmother to him. I still think about how he looked at me that day all these years later."
"He also tried walking outside of me on the sidewalk in case a car came and splashed a puddle. My dumbass had no idea what he was doing when he was trying to switch me places on the sidewalk when we left the restaurant, lol — but it was a sweet gesture."
16."He squished a bug for me while we were in the middle of an argument. When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, I still love you!' He also just constantly thinks about me; it's just natural to him. He's always making sure I'm warm, well-fed, and happy... without being prompted or anything. Just does it."
17."I had a difficult childhood and, at one point, survived on cans of Spam and sardines. I offhandedly mentioned to him how I always keep at least a can of each in my pantry at all times because it gives me a sense of peace and safety to know there is something to eat. We weren't even dating at the time. I visited on the weekends to help with his garden, but the next time I visited, he showed me several cans of Spam and sardines he had bought in the pantry. He told me he wanted me to always feel safe with him and his home, and he would never let either of those items run out. Been together for a little over three years now."
18."When I came to his house one of the first times, it was pouring. He told me to call him when I parked. He came out with a huge golf umbrella, opened my door, and carried it over me. 12 years and a 3-year-old daughter later, it gives me such comfort knowing the kind of love she will know she deserves by watching her daddy."
19."Early on, when my partner and I were dating, we ended up with a moose on the trail in front of us. I stepped in front of her without even thinking about it. About six months later, we were hiking in a different part of the country, and I saw a snake. I screamed like a child, and she immediately stepped in front of me. We still laugh about it eight years later. I'll protect her from things with legs; she protects me from things without legs."
20."This seems small, but I dated so many guys who would bring up their exes, blaming them for everything, calling them crazy and names. When talking about past relationships, my boyfriend only spoke about how grateful he was to have experienced love and for the time he spent with his exes. He spoke with respect about the women before me. I still remember that over a decade later. And it did foreshadow how life would be with him. He's been the most kind, understanding, and patient man to have ever been in my life."
21."When I got my period at his place pretty early on in the relationship, he didn‘t make it awkward or act disgusted. He got me pads, made me a hot water bottle, asked me if I wanted snacks, and made sure that I drank water. The pharmacy was closed so he couldn‘t get me pain meds, but ever since, he has made sure that they are always in stock at home. I‘m gonna marry him someday. Almost two years together, and it feels like I met him just yesterday."
22."I ugly cried in front of him. He wiped my tears and picked up my wet tissues with his hand to throw them in the bin, and then he got me another tissue box. Gross, yes, but that was the moment when he first stood out to me. Okay, for those saying tears aren’t gross, I’m gonna be straight up. MY TISSUES WERE FILLED WITH SNOT."
23."I’m self-conscious about a big scar I have on my back. When my guy first saw it, he just kissed it gently and told me every inch of me was beautiful. He’s now my fiancé."
24."I had been with my now-husband for about six months when we did a road trip down south together. My dad is gone, so my husband never knew him, but he was a huge James Taylor fan, and I am, too, by association. We stopped in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, to see Mr. Taylor's childhood home, the bridge named after him, and we hiked along Morgan Creek, which was one of his favorite songwriting spots. It was something on my dad's bucket list, and he unfortunately never got to do it. While we were hiking along the creek, I mentioned to my husband that I wanted to bring a rock back to put on my dad's grave. I meant one from the shoreline or the trail."
"He immediately ripped his shoes and socks off and waded into the creek, pulling up rocks and tossing them back if he didn't think they were 'good enough.' Eventually, he held one up and said, 'This one is Bob's,' and trekked back up through the muck to dry his legs off. All for a man he never knew.
I knew for certain that he was the one, and we were engaged a few months later."
25."When I first started dating my now-husband, I had just come out of yet another relationship where I wasn’t treated well. I’d been with people who weren’t genuine and showed all the classic fuckboy behavior. At that point, I honestly thought there was something wrong with my ability to pick the right men, so I took a long break from dating to focus on myself."
"Then, my husband came along. On our 3rd or 4th date, he told me he had something important to discuss. My mind immediately went to, 'Oh fuck, what’s he about to drop on me?' But instead, he said, 'I just want to be clear — I really like you. I’m not dating just to date. I’m dating with the intention of marriage, and I want to make sure we’re on the same page.'
I was floored. In all my years of dating, no one had ever been that intentional or upfront with me. It completely changed the game."
26."My now-husband, on our first date, said to text me to let me know you made it home safe right as we went our separate ways. I had been on a lot of first dates, and not a single one had said anything remotely about checking my safety."
27."My husband and I had a seven-hour-long first date. At the end of it, he shook my hand and said have a lovely night. I definitely would’ve (and wanted him to) kiss me, if not more, lol. Anywho, married almost ten years now."
People who identify as women, share with us a thing a guy has done that made you think: “Wow, he’s different" in a good way in the comments below.
