‘Moderate’ or MAGA? Why dating app users are lying about politics post-Trump election.

Are fishing pics conservative-coded? Does blue hair mean they voted blue too?

These are the questions on some singles' minds as they navigate the minefield that is online dating. On dating apps, some users are looking for signs post-election, scouring each others' profiles and scanning for clues as to how the other person may have voted.

Some singles even go to great lengths to conceal their true political opinions − or at least that's what they're accused of. In certain liberal-leaning circles, for instance, it's assumed those who list their political affiliation as "moderate" are really lowkey Republicans.

"Yearly reminder 'Moderate' and 'Apolitical' on a dating app is just code for 'conservative but ashamed of it,' " wrote one X user. "We can all agree that marking 'moderate' on a dating app just means conservative but you don't wanna scare the feminists off," wrote another. "On dating profiles: 'Politically moderate' = MAGA," wrote another.

Dating experts say honesty is the best policy when it comes to finding love − and making assumptions about someone's beliefs based on limited information often isn't fair to them. After all, someone who says they're "moderate" on a dating app might indeed be politically centrist.

"Dating profiles, for me, is just another form of social media," says Sara Nasserzadeh, a social psychologist and author of the book "Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love." "If their political affiliation is not very clear to you, and that is something that is important to you specifically, then I would definitely bring it up on the first or second date."

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Why some people conceal their politics on dating apps

Politics has become an increasingly fraught topic in the realm of dating, with many people unwilling to date across the political aisle. In a 2020 Pew Research report, 71% of Democrats said they probably or definitely would not date someone who voted for Trump. About half of Republicans − 47% − said they probably or definitely wouldn't date someone who voted for Biden.

Amy Chan, a dating coach and author of "Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart," suspects that divide has only grown steeper since Trump's re-election − and it's likely only going to drive more people to lie about their beliefs on dating apps.

"Some people label themselves as moderate when they're conservative because they think there may be prejudice against conservatives on dating apps," she says. "In a way, it’s a similar reason to why some men lie about their height − they don’t want to be dismissed and want to access a larger dating pool."

Chan, however, does not recommend people misrepresent themselves on dating apps by lying about their politics, height or anything else. This usually just causes more problems later on, she says.

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If it's really important to you that the person you date shares your politics, the best strategy is to ask the person you're dating about their beliefs. If you're concerned someone may not really be "moderate," just ask them what they mean by that label.

"If they say moderate, that would be good ground for conversation: 'You mentioned moderate. Would you please explore this with me?' And also, it's not an interrogation," Nasserzadeh says. "You have to be able and willing and open to share about yourself too."

Does politics matter when it comes to dating?

The political divide in people's dating preferences raises an important question: Does sharing the same political views as your partner matter for a relationship?

It depends. For some, politics may not be very important. But if you know you have strong opinions − and politics is something you care deeply about − it's probably best to share that with a partner.

More important than politics, however, is core values, Chan says. Thinking in terms of values can help a dater discern which political topics they can tolerate disagreement on and which they can't. For instance, perhaps you don't mind if your partner thinks differently than you on taxes, but having similar views on abortion is a non-negotiable.

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"Two people with different political affiliations can have successful relationships if they share fundamental values about important issues," Chan says. "The key is understanding what specific issues are deal-breakers for you versus areas where you can accept differences."

Chan also says it's important to note there are many couples with opposite political views who have thriving relationships, thanks to respect and communication. Key strategies for maintaining these relationships, she says, include setting clear boundaries around political discussions, taking breaks when conversations become too heated and avoiding attacks on the other person's character or morals.

"The reality is there are a lot of couples who vote differently," she says. "This dynamic can feel complex and emotionally charged, but it’s also an opportunity to strengthen communication skills."

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If you're on a date and wondering if your political values are compatible, Chan says there are certain questions you can ask to respectfully broach the topic. Instead of flat-out asking "Who did you vote for?" it might be better to inquire about something deeper, like who someone's role models are and why.

"The goal is to understand someone's actual values and beliefs rather than making assumptions based on labels or surface-level indicators," she says.

Most of all, remember the person you're dating is a complex human being. If you find your political differences with them are too vast for a relationship, that's OK − just respectfully move on.

"Don't minimize the other person's ideas," Nasserzadeh says. "Just humanize it. This is a human with their own belief system, and that's OK."

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Trump and why people lie about politics on dating apps