When did Valentine’s Day become a full-time job for moms?
It’s the week of Valentine’s Day, which means that, as a mother of school-age children, I am expected to:
Decorate a Valentine’s Day box (or force my son to).
Buy the exact number of Valentine’s cards for my five kids’ classrooms.
Script names onto all of them because kids under a certain age refuse to do it.
Order V-Day flower deliveries to the classroom because our school layered in extra projects.
Plan a cute holiday treat for the family because #memories.
Think of a gift for my husband because the mental load doesn’t stop at kids.
Send love to friends and extended family because, as always, keeping relationships alive is somehow my job.
Valentine’s Day is a holiday about love—built on the invisible labor of mothers.
Which is why when I watched the following viral TikTok, I felt so deeply seen.
The viral TikTok that hit a nerve
Mom creator @regular_megan summed it up perfectly in her video, questioning how Valentine’s Day went from simple card exchanges to miniature gift bags for every child in a class.
“Last year my kids came home with like a full-blown goodie bag from every kid in their daycare… and I’m just not doing that.”
She breaks down the sheer scale of the task, noting that as a mom of three, she’d be assembling three classrooms’ worth of elaborate Valentine’s bags—a completely unrealistic (but socially expected) workload.
So this year? She’s keeping it simple:
“I just bought Nerds Clusters that we can write our name on. Like, is that good? Is that enough?”
And then, the real question:
“Can we set the bar lower, parents? Please?”
When did Valentine’s Day become another Pinterest-worthy competition?
If you’re a millennial mom, you probably remember the old-school Valentine’s Day routine:
Grab a box of $3 Valentines from the drugstore.
Sign your name.
Hand them out at school.
Fast forward to today, and somewhere along the way, we turned it into a full-scale production. Now, kids come home with treat bags stuffed with personalized cards, stickers, mini Play-Dohs, and custom snacks—all curated and assembled by moms already juggling a million things.
When did Valentine’s Day become a second Halloween—but with less fun and more obligation?
Related: All I want for Valentine’s Day is a break
The mental load of holidays—even the “small” ones
This is what mom creator Regular_Megan’s video captures so well: It’s not just about Valentine’s Day cards. It’s about how every holiday, big or small, adds to the mental load of mothers.
Because when there’s a holiday—even a minor one—who’s expected to make it happen?
Who buys the supplies? Mom.
Who remembers the deadlines? Mom.
Who makes sure everything gets to school? Mom.
Who absorbs the unspoken pressure of keeping up with what other moms are doing? Mom.
Related: This mom is over classroom treat bags and TBH, we get it
Let’s set the bar lower (no, really)
So here’s a radical thought: We don’t have to do all this.
We can give out a single piece of candy and call it a day. We can skip the elaborate treat boxes and opt for whatever is easiest. And we can, like Regular_Megan says, collectively agree to stop turning Valentine’s Day into a high-stakes production.
Because moms already carry enough. We shouldn’t have to prove our love with glitter, treat bags, and handwritten notes on a random Tuesday in February.
Happy Valentine’s Day. May your candy be store-bought, your cards be minimal, and your mental load be light.
