I Asked 15 People How They Love to Spend Valentine's Day Solo
At some point in my 20s, I learned that there are several different words in Greek to describe love. There’s philautia, which translates to compassionate self-love and agape, a type of selfless, universal love. As a lover of language, this realization really reshaped how I viewed Valentine’s Day traditions, and it made me feel comfortable celebrating all these different forms of love.
Over the years, I’ve spent countless Valentine’s Days alone as an act of self-love (and, one year, because a guy I was dating asked me which day Valentine’s Day was … on February 15). I’ve taken myself on solo dates, splurging on a great seat at a Denver Nuggets game one year, enjoying a warm bowl of pho another, and sidling up to my favorite now-closed bar to sip a margarita and dunk chips in guac another year.
I’ve also embraced the idea of celebrating a love for humanity, and spent several Valentine’s Days volunteering, revising résumés for women who survived domestic violence and were ready to start their next chapter and, because basketball season overlaps with Valentine’s Day, I’ve also spent lots of February 14ths coaching youth basketball.
Ahead of the day of love, I asked others who have been alone on Valentine’s Day to share with me their favorite ways to spend the day.
15 Solo Valentine’s Day Ideas
Spoiler: Spending Valentine’s Day single does not equate to being lonely for Valentine’s Day. Here’s how 15 people have spent the holiday alone and absolutely loved it.
1. Buy Yourself a Gift From Tiffany’s
“I have been a widow for five Valentine’s Days. This year will be my sixth. Last year I started a new tradition. I called a shopper at Tiffany & Co. and told her what I was looking for. Last year was a purse, this year will be a bracelet. She has selections waiting for me along with champagne. I then proceed to buy myself a gift from my late husband. Then I head across the street to Capital Grille and have more champagne and shrimp cocktail or the tuna stack. I toast Eric and chat with people around me. I love this because I am healed enough not to be devastated and to take care of myself.” —Lisa Woolery, 56, Kansas City, Missouri
2. Cuddle on the Couch with Your Pet
“I truly love being an introverted homebody so I’ll spend Valentine’s Day waking up early and enjoying my Nespresso while doing the daily Wordle and Connections. I then take a bath, go for a nice long walk, and then watch a movie on the couch with my cat. But this year on February 14 I bought myself a ticket to see one of my fave girl pop groups, Moody Joody, so it’ll be nice to get out of the house for a change! I’ll likely go out and grab some pizza before the show, as a treat.” —Natalia Buia, 36, Toronto, Canada
3. Take Yourself Out for Pizza and Wine
“I once ended up on a work trip over Valentine’s Day in New York City, and my meetings finished early. I took myself out to a pizza and wine lunch and then got lost in the Met for three hours just exploring. Ended the evening with a bag of M&Ms in a hotel bed with a rom-com on the TV. It was absolutely perfect.” —Katie Knoch, 41, Denver, Colorado
4. Celebrate Your Dog’s Birthday
“Valentine’s Day is a special day for me because it’s my Cavapoo Ozzie’s birthday! Each year, I celebrate him and how grateful I am to be his mom. He has brought so much joy to my life and has helped me through the highs and lows. He is always there for me with unconditional love. I celebrate my love for him on each Valentine’s Day by giving him his favorite pupcake and putting him in a cute party hat!” —Alexandra Rosenzweig, 37, New York, New York
5. Embrace Your Inner Gremlin
“There’s truly no better way to spend Valentine’s Day than in your finest pajamas (aka the same sweatpants you’ve worn all week), sprawled on the couch like the majestic gremlin you are. Hair up, face mask on, wine in hand, and a heart-shaped pizza. No one to judge as marinara dribbles down your chin, no one to fight over the remote, and best of all — no one to steal the last slice. This is self-care at its peak.” —Kim Irwin, 37, Denver, Colorado
6. Take Yourself on a Solo Movie Date
“One of my favorite solo Valentine’s Days was when I took myself on a movie date. I picked a film I knew I’d love, grabbed my favorite snacks, and just enjoyed the experience without worrying about anyone else’s preferences. It was simple, but it made me realize that Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about romantic love — it can just be about love, period. Love for myself, for my life, and for the things that make me happy.” —Stephanie Edenburgh, 36, San Diego, California
7. Go to the Gym (and Buy Yourself Flowers)
“I have learned I don’t need a partner to buy myself flowers (Miley Cyrus wrote the perfect song for me!) or go to the movies solo. So the silver lining? Learning to be comfortable with myself and realizing that, at the end of the day, the most important relationship I have is with me. This year, I’ll be hitting the gym on Valentine’s Day (I bet it’s going to be empty) and maybe grabbing some chocolates for my friends.” —Raul Quiroz, 29, Southern California
8. Do Something You Love Outdoors
“I’ve been single for the past few years up until this year, but in the past, I’d always used Valentine’s Day to treat myself to self-care and a barrel of great times. In years past, I’d go surfing on Valentine’s Day, as I’ve often found solace, refuge, love, and joy in the ocean. A gift I’ve given to myself on Valentine’s Day is being outside in nature in places that I love, specifically at the ocean.” —Aaron Wertheimer, 33, Costa Mesa, California
9. Treat Yourself to a Massage
“I love flowers, so I’ll usually treat myself to white and pink roses, lots of them! My favorite patisserie on the Upper West Side usually has a Valentine’s Day special. This year, I booked myself a spa experience to slow me down and feel indulgent. Post-massage, I’ll likely enjoy a glass of low ABV rose (I love Fria Frio), order something yummy, and spend time reflecting and celebrating the various forms of love that exist in my life.” —Ruhi Thakker, 31, New York, New York
10. Have a Love-Themed Movie Marathon
“My ritual starts with a letter — not to a crush, but to me first. I jot down moments from the past year that made me proud, like finally mastering sourdough or setting boundaries at work. Then, I curate a ‘Nostalgia Marathon’ of films that shaped my idea of love (Pride & Prejudice for hope, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind for messy realism), paired with a charcuterie board I don’t have to share.
But my favorite twist? Playing ‘Secret Cupid.’ I mail anonymous, handwritten notes to friends: ‘Your laugh could power a city — thanks for keeping mine lit.’ No name, just a red heart stamp. It’s my rebellion against the idea that love must be loud or coupled.” —Naomi Clarke, 29, Austin, Texas
11. Send Cards to Friends and Family
“Leading up to the day, I’ll break out my stationery and mail off cards to coworkers who keep me sane and friends I consider family. I try to get ahead of the price jump by purchasing flowers from a local shop ahead of time so I can appreciate the blooms on the actual day. Valentine’s Day itself usually includes a facial, extra long and hot shower, a trip to a local pastry shop, a massage at the local spa, mani-pedi, and scattered phone calls to family and older friends.” —Lynelle Nicole, 33, Kansas City, Missouri
12. Run a Marathon
“In 2016, after the ending of an exhausting on-again off-again relationship, I spent Valentine’s Day alone (but with thousands of others) running the Fort Lauderdale Half Marathon. I signed up spontaneously, a week before the race, as a casual runner, and it made me fall in love with the sport and myself again!” —Danielle Vazquez, 31, West Palm Beach, Florida
13. Make a Home-Cooked Meal and Read a Book
“I’m choosing to go solo this Valentine’s Day — not out of loneliness, but out of self-love. I’ll start by cooking myself a gourmet meal, savoring every bite instead of rushing through my meal while doom scrolling through social media. A glass of white wine in hand, I’ll write a love letter to my future self — something I can read next year as a reminder of my growth, resilience, and worth. After that, I’ll indulge in a home spa night, letting the stress of the world melt away. And finally, I’ll curl up with a book I’ve been meaning to read for ages.” —Kathryn Parsons, 51, Stamford, Connecticut
14. Go for a Drive and Sing Along to Your Favorite Songs
“I have so much love for friends and family, and I also now celebrate the love I have for myself. I’m in therapy, and I went from dealing with a lot of self-loathing to now having a healthy self-love. So, every year, I try to find some new way of celebrating the love I have for myself.
Last year to celebrate Valentine’s Day, I went for a drive while singing along to empowering music, then I stopped by the beach to savor vegan chocolate while journaling about what love means to me. Taking the time for simple things that bring me joy is my favorite way of showing love to myself.” —Robin Raven, 45, Mobile, Alabama
15. Take Yourself Out for a Champagne and Lobster Dinner
“A few years ago after I had dumped my boyfriend in January, I spent Valentine’s Day buying myself a piece of jewelry, flowers, and had a solo candlelit champagne and a lobster dinner. A few years ago, I found my soulmate, a private pilot who lives in Belgium. So we have a long-distance relationship and never get to spend Valentine’s Day together. This year I’m doing a beachy trip on the west coast of Mexico, and he and I will be doing a video call together.” —Kelly Magyarics, Washington, D.C. metro area
Further Reading
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