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The cine files! Everything you need to see at the cinema in March

 (handout)
(handout)

80 for Brady

A group of life-long friends make a pilgrimage to the Super Bowl to meet their hero (real-life superstar quarterback Tom Brady). So what, you say. These old buddies just happen to be Hollywood grande dames Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Sally Field and Rita Moreno, so there. Charming, easy-going giggles that won’t trouble your brain cells too much…

Out 24 March

God’s Creatures

Foreboding lingers weightily in a remote Irish fishing village… so too do Paul Mescal and Emily Watson. He is the prodigal son; she the overly loyal mother who provides an alibi for him. Amid the gloomy, slo-mo turn of events, we learn rather too much about oyster farming and fish processing. Will the scales fall from Watson’s eyes so she can see her son for what he really is?

Out 31 March

Creed III (AP)
Creed III (AP)

Creed III

There’s no Sly Stallone in the ninth edition of the Rocky franchise, but that’s a sideshow. This is a big-hitting drama with hot property du jour Jonathan Majors as Adonis Creed’s old friend/new foe putting in a knockout turn.

Out 3 March

Close

You know those European movies where almost nothing happens? Belgian Oscar nominee Close is one of those, but even more restrained. If extremely slow is your thing, this quietly devastating tale of the intimate friendship between two young boys is your foreign language movie of the month.

Out 3 March

Scream VI (Paramount Pictures)
Scream VI (Paramount Pictures)

Scream VI

Scream if you want it to stop. Scream louder if you don’t. Good news for horror and NYC fans, now Courteney Cox (yes, she’s still bloody in it!) et al are heading to the Big Apple for the ritual slaughter.

Out 10 March

Champions

It’s not sophisticated, but this comedy has got adorable ol’ Woody Harrelson in it, which is never a bad thing. Here he plays a basketball coach who reluctantly agrees to manage a team with intellectual disabilities. Cue the cast delightfully running rings around hapless Woody.

Out 10 March

Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey

That title is just dripping with promise. However, this mega-low-budget slasher following Pooh and Piglet as they butcher a cabin full of women is probably only for the curious. What next, Peter Rabbit Rips Your Face Off?

Out 10 March

Pearl

Praise your blood-splattered dungarees, the pesky pitchfork is back for a supporting role in Ti West’s X prequel, which takes us back to axe-wielding Pearl’s youth. But the real star is Mia Goth, who’s totally on fire (not literally, although other cast members may well be) from start to finish. The utterly freakish closing shot alone is worth the ticket price.

Out 17 March

Rye Lane (handout)
Rye Lane (handout)

Rye Lane

London film alert! Yes, this goofy Peckham-set tale might not reinvent the romcom genre, but the freestyling ‘friendship’ between two jilted Gen Zers should be a perfect Sunday-afternoon serotonin pick-me-up.

Out 17 March

Shazam! Fury of the Gods (Warner Bros. Picture)
Shazam! Fury of the Gods (Warner Bros. Picture)

Shazam! Fury of the Gods

Remember when superheroes were fun, not brooding repositories of darkness? Well the dork who turns into a (albeit amateurish) caped crusader whenever he bellows ‘shazam!’ is back for another lolz-loaded adventure. Oh, you want a juicy villain too? Say hello to none other than Helen Mirren

Out 17 March

Infinity Pool (Courtesy of Sundance Institute)
Infinity Pool (Courtesy of Sundance Institute)

Infinity Pool

In Brandon Cronenberg’s brutal satire, the ultra-wealthy at an exclusive resort discover a fiendishly twisted get-out clause for their ultraviolent tendencies. Alexander Skarsgard and Mia Goth - red-hot again this month - as the leads are incredibly good. The central conceit (let’s not spoil it) is brilliant; the skull-smashing and adult breastfeeding less so.

Out 24 March