Bride's Single Friend Tells Her to 'Tone Down Affection' with Fiancé, Feels 'Confronted' by Their Love

"I tried to be sensitive and understanding, but I also felt uncomfortable with the request," the bride wrote on Reddit

• A bride on Reddit shared that she has asked her close friend to reconsider attending her wedding after she told her to "tone down" her "physical displays of affection" with her fiancé

• The bride explained that her friend messaged her a week before her wedding, expressing that since she broke up with her boyfriend and became "a single person," she has been "struggling" with seeing the bride and her fiancé happily together

• The bride concluded her post by noting, "I tried to be sensitive and understanding, but I also felt uncomfortable with the request. She also hasn’t made this same request of other couples in her life"
  

A bride has asked her close friend to reconsider attending her wedding after she told her to "tone down" her "physical displays of affection" with her fiancé.

In a post on Reddit's "Am I the A------?" forum, the bride explained that her friend messaged her a week before her wedding, sharing that since she broke up with her boyfriend and became "a single person," she has been "struggling" with seeing the bride and her fiancé happily together.

"She mentioned feeling like being single is a failure, and that seeing the love between us is hard to process," the bride wrote, before sharing her friend's exact message.

The friend wrote to her: “I’ve been struggling with being single, especially since moving to a new home and starting at a new job and it’s affecting my daily life. Seeing you and your fiancé together is very hard for me. While I’m happy for you, my body reacts poorly. Could you, when we’re all together, maybe tone down the physical displays of affection? It would help me feel less confronted with it.”

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The bride then provided some context about their shared friend group, explaining that "physical closeness has always been normal and accepted" among them. She noted, however, that she and her fiancé "aren't overly affectionate" and don't "engage in intense displays" in front of others. "Light physical affection is common for everyone in the group," she wrote.

Even her now-single friend "openly showed affection" with her previous partner. "That's why I didn't expect this request, especially from her," the bride said.

The bride took some time to talk over the situation with her fiancé and reached out to the friend to talk by phone — but the friend said she was feeling "too emotional" and preferred to communicate via text.

So the bride messaged her: “I empathize with how difficult this must be for you. However, I want to be honest that what you’re asking is significant. We don’t see our interactions as overly affectionate or intense. … Given that our wedding is a day entirely about celebrating our relationship, I also want to be open about my concern. If it’s already painful for you to see us together, the wedding might be even more difficult."

The bride concluded her post by noting, "I tried to be sensitive and understanding, but I also felt uncomfortable with the request. She also hasn’t made this same request of other couples in her life."

Now, she is looking for feedback from the Reddit community on whether she is wrong "for asking my friend to reconsider attending our wedding and refusing to tone down affection with my fiancé."

The majority of commenters sided with the bride, saying she's being "selfish" and unfair to her friend during what should be a happy and special time in her life. A few even went so far as to suggest that the friend is "jealous" and intentionally "trying to ruin things" for the bride.

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"Your friend is making everything about herself and is asking you to change how you interact with your soon-to-be husband to make her feel less insecure. That’s selfish and controlling," one person wrote. "Since she’s single right now, she wants you to act like you are, too. That’s awful."

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"If your friend were a considerate person, she would not have put herself first by requesting that you and your fiancé change your acceptable and normal affectionate behavior, especially right before your wedding (when you are literally about to enter the honeymoon phase of your relationship)," someone else chimed in.

While some commenters sympathized with the single friend — "It's hard to be single when you don't want to be," one wrote — they agreed that she made an "unreasonable" request of the bride.

"It sucks that she's sad, but she needs to learn to manage those feelings, not demand that the world bend around her," one person argued. "That's not how it works."