Words: Kristine Tarbert
The university sweethearts had already been together for 10 years and finally decided to get married. In anticipation of the wedding the woman explained she had invited her mum, a good friend, her soon-to-be MIL and her fiancé’s sister to go looking at wedding dresses.
“Overall we had a great day and I got the most amazing dress. My mom cried and my fiancé’s mum cried, it was special,” user Bamboo2u wrote.
At lunch a discussion came up about her taking on her husband’s name once they are married.
“My mom told everyone she suggested I keep my maiden name for work only, and take my fiancé’s name for personal life,” she said. “I want to keep my personal life private from my work life. And my fiancé’s mum agreed with my mum because that is what she does for work too.”
Later that evening she was left shocked after receiving a text from her mother-in-law, which she quickly realised had been sent to her by accident.
“I made the mistake of reading it in my car with my fiancé in the car. The text said the whole day was a s**t show and that my mum advised me to not take my fiancé’s name for career reasons,” she said.
“I’m so hurt and pissed that she would go around spreading lies about my mum. She knows that’s not what my mum said.”
After explaining the situation to her partner he actually asked his mum to apologise but apparently she refuses to do so.
“I’m not sure what to do at this point. I saw my future mother-in-law the other day and she refused to look at me or even talk to me,” the woman wrote.
“What do I do from here? How to I get her to speak with me about what is going on without making the matter even worse?”
Many were equally outraged by the text message and said she should definitely confront her.
“If it was me then she’d be put on notice I expect a full written apology and if I ever hear her talking crap or stomping boundaries again she’ll be uninvited to whatever the next big event is,” was one person’s suggestion.
“I would confront her,” another said. “Ask her to detail why she thought it was a ‘s**t show’ and why she thinks its a problem that you will keep your name.”
Others also pointed out the incident highlighted the kind of person she might be.
“She gave you valuable information about the kind of person she is. Believe her, and adjust your trust in her accordingly,” one person wrote.
“I think it’s hypocritical that she is passing judgment on your mum for the very thing she does,” another said.
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