Bride’s Mother Upset She’s Rejecting Their Family Wedding Traditions, Including Engagement Ring and Bridal Party: ‘Cruel’

A woman is grappling with her daughter's decision to set aside old family wedding traditions.

In a letter to Slate's 'Care and Feeding' column — an advice outlet for parents — a mother shared that she feels hurt after her daughter rejected a number of wedding practices. The matriarch added that she had been looking forward to experiencing these various milestones with her daughter.

After her daughter got engaged to her partner of five years, she told her mother that she didn't want to wear an engagement ring because she felt diamonds are "ugly" and not "politically correct."

Her daughter also opted out of an engagement party and bridal shower, as well as a bridal party — which came as a shock to her sisters, because they were "really looking forward" to joining her on her wedding day as bridesmaids.

Related: Woman Attends Strangers' Weddings and Receptions as Seat Filler: ‘I Always Give a Gift’

"They refuse to create a registry, so my friends have no idea what to get them for wedding presents — turns out she is not even inviting my friends to the wedding, just their own friends and family," the mother wrote.

Her daughter won't go wedding dress shopping, opting instead to buy a plain white dress, and refused to let her father walk her down the aisle because she's "not property to be given away."

The mother continued, complaining of a lack of a first dance, wedding dinner, toasts or bar.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. 

She noted that while one of her other daughters turned "into a bridezilla," she still had a beautiful wedding, paid for by her parents. The mother said they were willing to do the same for their daughter getting married now, though the woman and her fiancé are both doctors and are able to pay for the event themselves, she said.

Now, the woman's husband "is ready to stay home rather than be ignored, and I'm not sure I want to be there, either," the mother wrote.

Related: Woman Wants to Stop Bringing ‘Homebody’ Husband to Weddings as Her Plus-One

Slate's advice columnist, Nicole Chung, was firm in her defense of the woman's daughter. "The only thing to do here is to get over yourselves," she wrote, adding, "Their special day is not about you; it's about them and the life they want to build together."

The columnist noted that the traditions the mother listed were "arbitrary and ultimately unimportant" compared to the true meaning of the day, and pointed out how the mother's concerns were heavily self-centered rather than focused on her daughter's happiness.

"I understand feeling a little regretful that your daughter’s wedding won’t be just as you expected," Chung wrote. "I don’t understand getting so worked up about it that you’d consider boycotting her day entirely."

Read the original article on People