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Should he call you when he’s on hols?

ladyandthescamp
Lady and The Scamp
12 November 2010

Dear Lady and The Scamp,

I've scored with a guy three times and he's four years younger than me but he's really nice and fun to be with. He's on a lads' holiday at the moment for a week and I texted him to know how it was going but I haven't got a reply. Now I don't know what to think. I know he's away with the lads and that what happens on hols stays on hols but it would be nice to think he could reply to me. Have you any advice for me or am I being silly?

Anonymous

Kevin:
A little silly, perhaps. There are innumerable possible reasons why he hasn't replied to you from his holiday: he left his phone back home, his mobile doesn't work abroad, it does work but he's too tight to pay 40p for a text, he got pickpocketed on the Metro, he's paralytic, he's snorkelling, he's snorkelling while paralytic... the list is literally endless. Basically, loads of people don't reply to texts while on holiday.

Having said that, there's also a fair chance he did get the text but can't be bothered to respond. I don't know anything about this geezer or the depth of the feelings that have blossomed between you during these three 'scores', but I'll take a guess that he's not spending each evening of his lads' holiday tucked up in bed early while tenderly caressing your photo. It's more likely that he and his mates are necking flourescent vodka jellies and leering at women in nightclubs with names like Zeus.

The good thing is that you seem to have already acknowledged this. So you're probably best off just waiting for him to get back... it's only a week. And when he returns and tells you all about the enriching travelling experiences he had and how hot it was, you can use your woman's intuition to work out whether he's leaving out any salacious details. And anyway, you're bound to eventually find out the truth when someone tags him on Facebook, disco dancing with a ladyboy.

Christine:

Yes, I mean he could have dropped his phone into a cocktail jug of Brain Crusher or it could have fallen out of his shorts at a foam party. But I think it's safe to say that probably didn't happen and if it did, he sounds like an idiot. The problem is you've 'scored' with him. Three times. Which, as romantic as it sounds, seems like quite a casual arrangement. If no boyfriend/girlfriend discussions have been had, he has probably entered into his holiday with the mentality that he is single, so feeling no pressure to reply to your texts.

Don't get me wrong, it is rude not to reply, and part of me thinks if he liked you enough then he'd be pleased to hear from you, but men don't always think like that. The very nature of the 'lads' holiday' is that it is a selfish, hedonistic, debauched getaway of sambuca shots, sick and sunburn. Most long-standing girlfriends get forgotten, at least for a time on such expeditions, but you don't even have that status.

You sound like you really quite like him, so my advice is to not get stroppy over the lack of attention, as you really don't have much ground to do so and it will make you look like a nag. When he gets back, look at all his holiday snaps of them mooning people on the beach, laugh at his stories of vomiting in the Jacuzzi and Jonno's shorts being removed by the wave machine. That's the moment you say how being away has made you realise how much you like him then maybe next year, you'll be going on holiday with him and not Jonno.

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