5 signs your partner is undergoing a full blown male midlife makeover
My partner’s walked in with what can only be described as an ‘undercut’. He’s been fairly predictable in his hairstyles up till today but now has the same hair as Cillian Murphy in the cult BBC show Peaky Blinders. I love Murphy as much as the next midlife woman in hormonal free fall, but I worry that this is the first sign that he’s having a ‘MMM’. A male midlife makeover.
Recently Daniel Craig has been spotted front row in various fashion shows looking slightly out of sorts. Or, more accurately, he’s been looking like Anne Robinson when she presented The Weakest Link. As the star in Loewe’s recent fashion campaign, he sported a jumper and yellow tinted specs that were perfectly aligned with Robinson’s fashion aesthetic. It would have been wonderful if he didn’t look quite so… uncomfortable perhaps?
David Beckham also came into some criticism recently because he appeared to have drawn his hair and eyebrows on with one of his daughter’s brown Sharpie pens. It looked like a last minute panic move rather than something he’d mulled over and discussed with Victoria over a few matcha lattes. So what are the five classic signs that your male partner is undergoing a ‘MMM’? For ease I’ve listed them below:
1. Radical hair transformations that go against anything you’ve ever witnessed before
In the old days we had the classic low ponytail when men hit midlife. Worn by academics and advertising agency execs alike, this look signalled to the outside world that you were rebellious and weren’t ready to walk straight into a campaign for ‘super-comfortable-polyester-slacks-with an-adjustable-waistband’ just yet.
Some men still sport this look, but now there is arguably a far broader remit if you’re feeling a bit meh in the midlife hair department. Daniel Craig has chosen to wear Anne Robinson’s wig. Actor Chris Pine has opted for the iconic ‘The Dude’ - based on the character of the same name from the Coen Brothers film The Big Lebowski - sporting a silver beard and highlighted shoulder length hair. The toupee is old hat and now anything goes. It’s all about closing your eyes, flicking through a magazine and seeing where your finger lands. The hair world is your oyster! Chop those ponytails off and go wild!
2. Throwing unexpected outfits together that are borderline bonkers
Pine also showed all the true signs of a ‘MMM’ at a film premiere for his film Poolman, when he accessorised his new hairstyle with corduroy shorts, hiking boots, slogan tee and a blazer with a pink peony brooch. This look was described by one commentator as ‘creating a striking visual that defied convention...’ (I can’t help thinking that a woman wearing this ensemble wouldn’t have been tagged in such a respectful manner.)
My partner is obviously not a Hollywood actor and recently purchased a cream pair of jogging bottoms with a matching cream sweatshirt. The jogging bottoms have the words ‘Glamour King’ emblazoned on the side (to be fair he hadn’t spotted the slogan when he ordered them online). He hasn’t worn this ensemble in public yet, but I’m worried that the undercut might have been the gateway drug - essentially just warming him up for embracing his MMM in earnest. Anything goes and this look very much says: take all the things you were warned not to wear together and wear them together… why not?
3. More colours, more of the time, all over the place
Brad Pitt is another one in the middle of a MMM. He recently wore a yellow jacket over a white shirt and cream pants to the British Grand Prix. He completed the look with a houndstooth check bucket hat. Like Pine, it was far more colourful and experimental than outfits he’d previously sported. It said - I’m stepping into my yellow budgie era and loving it.
Midlife men appear to be taking a leaf out of Harry Style’s fashion bible and saying YES to colour, and YES to wearing the clothes that they perhaps stuffed in the back of the cupboard once they turned 25.
I’ve also seen this reflected in my partner’s colour palette, as he’s integrated salmon pink and mustard T-shirts into his style mix, which up until a few months ago was universally black or navy (the kind of navy that might as well be black).
4. Dating women who could be their grandchildren
This isn’t anything new. Sadly stars like singer Antony Kiedis and actor Leonardo DiCaprio continue to fly the flag for this old school midlife male power move. There seem to be fewer men choosing older women as they hit midlife.
Thankfully I am already 10 years younger than my partner and he doesn’t seem to be interested in young women as we are currently both in the ‘rush hour’ of parenting and barely find time to brush our teeth most days (let alone look for younger partners).
5. Suspiciously perfect teeth
Talking of teeth, we have all upped our expectations these days. Traditionally British people were famous for having very bad teeth, but it’s now become the norm to have white, polished, perfectly square teeth. This is obviously a good look most of the time (nobody wants to look like that old 80s children’s TV character, Worzel Gummidge), but it can look peculiar if the person sporting the perfect set of gnashers has never traditionally cared about their visual appearance (Shaun Ryder, I’m talking to you right now). Also there are some teeth that just don’t look quite right (an ex-male colleague of mine was often referred to as ‘Easy Jet teeth’ after we’d just come off a Zoom. The teeth were just too white if you get what I mean).
I’ve gone hard on the ‘MMM’ here but really am just dishing out some of the classic critique women have faced through the ages as they’ve got older (‘mutton dressed as lamb’, ring any bells?). Truth is that age is just a number, and men experimenting with their look is a good thing. It suggests an open-minded, fun-loving, growth mindset kinda guy. It is also joyful to see. And so the MMM is in fact a good thing. Unless it’s translated as dating younger women all the time. Then it’s just a sad thing.
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