33 Weird Father's Day Gifts Perfect For Your Strange Dad
Have you done your Father’s Day shopping yet? Whew! Glad we caught you in time.
Although there are lots of businesses that think they know your dad better than you do, don’t be manipulated into buying the same old boring ties and tools recommended by those, ugh, normal gift guides.
Chances are, if your dad is like you, he’s a weirdo, and he deserves gifts that reflect his innate nuttiness.
Luckily, HuffPost Weird News has once again taken charge and scoured the world looking for strange gifts that will be perfect for even the most bizarre dad.
You don’t have to thank us. Our reward will come when we see all the fathers wearing pagan breakfast masks this summer.
HuffPost receives a share from retailers on this page. Every item is independently selected by HuffPost. Prices and availability are subject to change.
AbracadabraNYC.com
Pagan Breakfast God Mask
You may think of your dad as, well, "Dad," but it's quite possible he thinks of himself as a god, a "Pagan Breakfast God," to be exact.
GentlemensHardware.com
Fish HipFlask
Although there are no scientific studies to back this up, doesn't it seem natural that booze just tastes better when poured out of a fish-shaped flask?
Coddies.com
Feathers McGraw Penguin Plush Slippers
If your dad gets cold feet, warm up his tootsie with the help of Feathers McGraw, the villainous penguin from the Wallace & Gromit films.
LuckyLine.com
Doggie Doo Key Hider
Sometimes the best gift you can give a father is peace of mind. If Dad can be absent-minded, he will feel secure knowing that if he can't find his house key, he only has to look under a piece of fake poop. However, you may need to emphasize to look for the fake dog poop.
SkynFeel.com/
Really Expensive Condom
Sure, giving Dad a condom for Father's Day might seem strange, but these are special -- a 10-pack of the Supreme Feel brand costs a whopping $100. It's also a subtle message for him not to add any more heirs to the will. It's understandable if you don't want to lead with that. (Not available until June 4)
ZigZag.com
ZigZag Rolling Papers Limited Edition Orange Velour Tracksuit
Has Dad left the corporate world behind for a life of leisure? He will feel most relaxed in this orange velour tracksuit featuring the logo of the ZigZag rolling paper company.
Especially if he uses the namesake product while wearing the outfit.
PlazaJapan.com
Square Enix Plush Doll Neck Pillow Morbol Seedling (Final Fantasy XIV)
Sure, neck pillows can take the stress off Dad's neck, but they lack personality. But this pillow with a Morbel seedling from Final Fantasy XIV will give a cuddly creature a cuddly creature to cuddle.
TheCordialCherry.com
Bigfoot Chocolates
Admittedly, the demographic of people who love Bigfoot AND chocolate-covered cherries might be niche, but if that's your dad, there's no sweeter gift.
GuitarCenter.com
Guitar Pick Table
If your dad is a musician, give him his pick of furniture.
54celsius.com
"Italian Gesture" Candles
If your dad is fond of pinching the fingers of one hand when exasperated, this candle made in the shape of the gesture will melt his heart.
Hallmark.com
Sonic The Hedgehog Pizza Cutter
After using this Sonic the Hedgehog Pizza Cutter (with sound!), your dad won't be able to go back to ordinary pizza cutters that don't make noises. Sorry, that's just how things go.
Lisa Peardon for Bosley.com
Baseball Cap That Also Treats Hair Loss
Sure, everyone will think you just got Dad a baseball cap for Father's Day, but in reality you got him a cap that uses laser light to promote hair growth. It's a secret that only you two will share.
AbracadabraNYC.com
Bacon Scarf
Fashionistas agree! Nothing looks more stylish on a dad than a scarf that vaguely resembles a strip of bacon. Nothing!
"What about ...?"
Nothing!
"Not even..."
No!
ArmySurplusWorld.com
Sniper Ghillie Suit
If your dad is the type who prefers to blend in, this Sniper Ghillie Suit will certainly do the trick. Why he wants to blend in might be a topic for another conversation.
$55.99 at ArmySurplusWorld.com
Sugar-Plum.com
Zombie Chocolate Bunny
"Oh, you got me a chocolate bunny? It's not Easter."
"No Dad, this is a zombie bunny. Different holiday."
"So, zombie rabbits are for Father's Day now?"
"Aren't we a stickler for tradition."
CrazyAarons.com/
Amazing Prediction Putty
Is your dad a little worried about the future? Put his mind at ease with Prediction Putty. Dad just has to ask the question on his mind, such as, "Will they find out I was at the Capitol on Jan. 6?" and the putty will let him know the "truth."
Tubbz.com
Rubber Duckies From Stanley Kubrick Movies
Does your film fan dad also love taking baths? Excellent! Hygiene is a great thing. But he can make it more fun by using these rubber ducks to act out scenes from his favorite Stanley Kubrick films, be it "2001: A Space Odyssey," "A Clockwork Orange," "Full Metal Jacket" or "The Shining."
WalkingCanes.com
Cane With Built-In Sword
Want Dad to feel a little safer when walking around the block? This cane will give him stability, and the built-in sword will give him protection from any dragons he might see on his stroll.
TorrasLife.com
Wearable Neck Air-Conditioner
Some dads get hot under the collar for no real reason. For those men, get a wearable neck air-conditioner.
izusek via Getty Images for PropsLuggage.com
Suitcase With Built-In Prop
Most suitcases do the job of holding luggage perfectly well, but they aren't so great when you need a portable desk. The Props Luggage brand allows Dad to make his suitcase into a mini-table so he can eat or watch TV comfortably while waiting for the plane to load.
Fun.com
Bert and Ernie Slippers
These slippers will keep Dad's feet warm, but, more important, seeing them on Dad's feet will warm the heart of the young child who will probably be the giver.
MyDinkBuddy.com/
Portable Pickleball Net
If you are tired of hearing Dad moan about how he can't play pickleball because of the crowds, this portable net will give him an alternative that doesn't involve screaming at neighbors.
HighNot.com/
THC Recovery Shot
As more states legalize cannabis, more dads are getting high. But if pop is tired of waking up too baked for anyone's good, HighNot, a THC recovery shot, will help him get back to normal.
GutterSense.com
Gutter Cleaner That Doesn't Require A Ladder
Chances are your dad's mind is in the gutter. No, not like that, silly. He's just really obsessed with cleaning the gutters on the roof, but standing on a ladder can be dangerous for old folks. GutterSense allows your father to clean the gutters while staying firmly on the ground.
VibationsCannabis.com/
Cannabis-Infused Hydration Drink Mix
It's good for active dads to drink lots of water, and the Vibations drink mix includes cannabis, which puts the "high" in hydration.
Store Locator at VibationsCannabis.com
ChubbiesShorts.com
Chubberalls
These patriotic shorts aren't for every dad, but if they are right for your pop, chances are you've already clicked on the link without reading all of this.
Razor.com
Crazy Cart
Do you drive Dad crazy? Well, now he can drive crazy all the time with the Crazy Cart.
EatYellowstone.com
Yellowstone-Themed Coffee
Sometimes a cup of coffee is all Dad needs while he contemplates the issues nagging our world, such as when the final episodes of "Yellowstone" will air.
PicklePower.com
Pickle Juice
Does your dad get hydrated at the most inopportune times? If sweet sport drinks leave a sour taste in his mouth, he can wet his whistle with pickle juice!
AutomaticTrap.com/
Rodent-Killing Lethal Plunger
A rodent problem at home can really make dad go squirrelly, especially if he doesn't want to accidentally poison the family pets. The Automatic Trap attracts rodents with a non-toxic paste and kills them with a plunger-like device. Imagine Pop saying, as he is surrounded by rat carcasses, "Best Father's Day gift ever!"
CampNCar.com/product/basic-bunk/
Bunk Bed For The Car
The way housing prices are going, we'll probably all be sleeping in our cars soon. You can give Dad a head start with CampNCar's basic bunk, a bed frame that fits in most SUVs.
"And think of it, Dad, you won't have to worry about spending my inheritance on things like rent!" you can tell your father proudly.
Wellbody.com
Massage Gun That Gets Those Hard-To-Reach Spots
"Dad, how did you like that massage gun I got you that hits those hard-to-reach spots?"
"It's g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-ooooood."
Chronicle Books
A Bathroom-Oriented Bathroom Book
Multi-tasking is a valuable tool, and this book will help your dad make the most of his, er, most private time.
