29 Wedding Mistakes That Are Still Haunting People Longggggggg After Their Big Day
We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the biggest mistake they made on their wedding day. Between getting the wrong dress, inviting the wrong guests, and marrying the wrong person, people had lots of regrets! Here's what they revealed:
1."I originally didn't want kids at my afternoon wedding. The only ones originally allowed were the flower girl and boy. My mom and I got into a huge fight in front of my apartment building, and she yelled, 'You can't invite some and leave others out!' Although we were paying for the wedding ourselves, I gave in to her. This was my usual M.O. at the time. I completely regret it because my gorgeous wedding day turned into a daycare! Everyone brought their kids! Yup, I definitely regret that."
2."My dress arrived too late to wear to my wedding. A few days before the wedding, I had to buy something off the rack to wear. Luckily, I found something great. The original store would not refund me for the original dress, but she did offer to consign it for me with her getting a cut. I said no thanks and ended up donating it. My advice to brides is to tell the store your wedding is at least a month earlier than it is."
—Anonymous
3."I think my biggest mistake was not enforcing my boundaries. My husband and I only invited people we thought we were on good terms with who really cared about us. Instead, my uncle yelled at us at the rehearsal dinner when the restaurant mixed up a few orders, and my husband's best friend from college showed up in a champagne dress with white floral designs all over it. My husband and I had a great time on our wedding day and were grateful to have the wedding of our dreams. The only thing that could've made it better was if we had called out my uncle for being disrespectful over an easily fixable mistake at the rehearsal dinner instead of just taking the embarrassment. Also, I wish we had told my husband's best friend that she needed to change or she wouldn't be allowed to stay."
"I had multiple other guests point out the rudeness of her wearing a dress like that, and they told me she was bragging about how if she hadn't rejected the groom two years before I met him, we wouldn't be getting married now. I wish we had confronted her and kicked her out."
—Anonymous
4."Not looking at the cake the day before. My baker decided to add color, which went against what was discussed, written down, and paid for. I didn't see it until the reception."
5."I should've been more firm with my mother-in-law! She has a strong personality and even stronger opinions. I'm more of a people pleaser and really had very few things that were super important to me for the wedding. My wedding was her vision and nothing like I would have chosen. To her credit, it was beautiful, but not 'me.' For example, I've never wanted to walk down the aisle; my dad was pretty scummy, and sharing that moment with him never held any appeal. My MIL insisted that I walk down the aisle (it was a small backyard ceremony, so it was unnecessary). I did, by myself, to the most random song I could find to make it as unimportant as possible. I hated every moment and still feel so foolish for giving in to her. If you don't want to do something traditional, don't! I tell everyone getting married to do what they want, even if everyone rolls their eyes."
—Anonymous
6."We forgot to eat! We were so busy talking to friends and family at the reception that we probably only scarfed down a few hundred calories. We hadn't eaten anything since breakfast because of all the excitement and nerves. We did not, however, forget to drink. I drank more wine than usual and on an almost empty stomach. I didn't get sick, thank goodness, but I was a lot more silly-happy-drunk than I'd planned to be around my grandparents and new in-laws...who mostly don't drink. When my husband and I got home, we realized we were starving and ordered pizza."
"My other regret is that I didn't ask one of my best friends, who is a guy, to be in the wedding party. It just never occurred to me to challenge gender norms on the bride's side or ask my husband to add him to the guys' side. So, if I had it to do over, I'd ask my best guy friend to be part of the bridal party, and I'd eat more at the reception. Other than that, though. No regrets! We are still together after 14 years and counting.
What we really don't regret? Going DIY and spending as little money as possible. For example, we got flowers from the grocery store. We also told our friends and family that gifts really weren't necessary. For the folks who insisted on a gift, we asked for money to help pay for the wedding and reception or a potluck dish for the reception or rehearsal dinner. I asked my bridesmaids to wear a dress they liked instead of shelling out for an expensive bridesmaid dress. We didn't match in the pictures, but oh, well! We all looked great in dresses that fit our bodies and styles, and the bridesmaids had dresses they could actually wear again."
—Anonymous
7."Inviting the wrong guests! We had a super small COVID wedding. Due to crowd-gathering restrictions, we couldn't even have all of my in-laws, nieces, and nephews attend. My mom insisted that we invite a family friend in honor of my brother, who had passed a few years prior (he was his best friend, so the idea was that he would represent my brother). Oh, the family drama that ensued! This man was a bigoted racist who had insulted half my very diverse family in private. My brothers and sisters, whose spouses and children had been harassed by this man, chose my wedding as the last straw and brought up what he'd been doing. It made a very intimate gathering awkward as no one wanted him there and gave him the cold shoulder. To my family's credit, they attempted to insulate me from most of this on my big day, but I can't help but get a pit in my stomach every time I see him in my wedding photos. I should have just stuck with my immediate family!"
—Anonymous
8."Spending money on things people (including the bride and groom) don't really notice. I had a small, informal wedding and wanted everyone to feel comfortable. I hired a harpist to play during the period before the short ceremony. People were milling about, enjoying a glass of wine, talking. No one could hear the harp! It was a complete waste. I've seen this at other weddings. Lots of money and effort are spent on things that fall flat. Think about the venue and the people. While harp music is beautiful, is it right for the event?"
—Anonymous
9."Allowing my husband to have it at his parent's home. His father was ill and possibly couldn't attend the wedding. I agreed to have the wedding and reception at my future in-laws' home. My wedding ended up being a memorial to my father-in-law-to-be. My future MIL invited many people I didn't know to say goodbye to her husband (who never came downstairs for the wedding or reception). I had to limit my guest list because of their home. My photographer was summoned upstairs to take pictures of him with the family. My redo would be not to give in to my husband's mother."
—Anonymous
10."My husband and I had two wedding planners coordinating and 'handling' us through every step of the arrival, ceremony, dinner, and reception. We were told where to stand, when to do everything, what outfits to wear, and what to do next. There was even a sound tech un-miking and miking us during outfit changes. We thought it would take a lot of stress out of the day, and it did, but at the expense of us having any candid photos, meaningful interactions with friends or family, or silly memories. It felt more like running through a play than a significant day between us."
—Anonymous
11."I should've had a discussion with my father about his drinking habits BEFORE having to wake him and his wife up as they passed out in the corner of the reception bar."
12."Where do I start?! I likely wouldn't have had a wedding. From the get-go, I had said I wanted a small elopement. Just me, my hubby, our parents, grandparents, siblings (and obviously their partners), and a handful of our closest friends. Instead, we were guilt-tripped by family members to invite other family members. Once you invite one aunt, you have to invite all the aunts and uncles, and it ended up turning our wedding into a bigger event than we ever wanted or could afford with people we didn't really like. My entire side of the family (parents included) ended up leaving early, and it was devastating for me. If we'd kept it small, we could've saved me the heartbreak, had a better party with just our closest friends (who actually wanted to celebrate us), and saved money for a honeymoon."
—Anonymous
13."My dress. We paid for everything, and our budget was less than $5,000. I was/am happy with all of it — the low-key decorations, skipping a DJ and just using a playlist on my laptop, using a local community center for the reception, and so on. The ONLY thing I look back on and cringe at is my appearance. Because we had a tight budget, I bought whatever dress fit me and was on sale at David's Bridal. The dress was fine, I guess, but I definitely didn't love it, and I don't think it flattered me as much as another dress could have. I wish I had looked more."
14."Definitely the person I married. We met young, and I had been so in love with him for so long that even though things were bad heading into marriage, I thought it would get better. I thought he was 'the one' and was just checked out because he was in grad school. I thought that afterward, it would be good again. Nope. It got worse until we divorced 20 years later with three kids. And up until I finally asked for a divorce, I was still waiting for it to get good again."
—Anonymous
15."Letting my husband tap the keg too early and missing my reception because he was too drunk to attend. I found out he barely remembers the entire event at all."
16."Not hiring a professional photographer. My wife was looking for ways to save money on our wedding because we basically had to pay for it ourselves. A woman my wife worked with seemed to be a decent amateur photographer. She had taken pictures of her husband, who was a model, for his portfolio. The pictures looked pretty decent, so we hired her for a reduced rate compared to what professional photographers were charging. Well, it turned out to be an almost complete disaster. This amateur photographer showed up at our wedding with a basic SLR camera similar to mine. I am strictly an amateur who took vacation pictures and pictures at family gatherings. This was also in the days before digital photography."
"The pictures she took were terrible and strictly amateur. She incorrectly loaded the film into her camera just before taking photos of the wedding party after the ceremony. The film didn't advance properly, which she knew, but she didn't say anything about having to reshoot them. As such, we had no pictures of the wedding party or any way to recreate them. When we found out what happened, my wife and I were furious. There was no excuse for not telling us about having to reshoot the wedding party pictures. We also had no pictures of us posing with various guests — just lots of photos of the backs of people's heads at the reception.
This destroyed my wife's friendship with this woman, and they never spoke again. Our families were disappointed because we had no wedding pictures to give them. The bottom line is not to save money by going cheap on the photographer or videographer. You will most likely regret it; we certainly did."
17."My dress had a large bow across my backside. My only excuse was that it was the early '90s, but it is deeply embarrassing to look at the pictures."
18."Too many guests — around 300. A much smaller wedding would've been more comfortable and enjoyable for us. We are both introverts."
—Anonymous
19."The person I chose to marry. Red flags were flying, but I didn't know what love bombing was then. I also got pregnant early into our relationship and thought we had a great relationship, but really, I was in love with love, and being love-bombed didn't help that situation out at all. We got married before we even hit one year of dating. His temper and narcissistic personality traits started showing themselves a few months later. We've been married for almost 15 years, we have two kids together, and I've been unhappy for years. I started therapy a year ago and am in the process of researching divorce lawyers. I am discovering just how expensive divorce is. A few pieces of advice: Be aware of love-bombing, NEVER get married during the 'honeymoon' phase of a relationship, know and love yourself before getting married, and DON'T EVER SETTLE."
—Anonymous
20."I wish I would've taken the time to get ready and ensure my makeup, outfit, and hair were perfect. I did my makeup at home that morning, went and got my hair done, and then let my bridesmaids take over the suite to get ready. I was more concerned about them feeling their best. In all my photos, you can see me wearing my green shoes instead of the beautiful, sparkly ones I had picked for the wedding. I just was in such a rush, I forgot! Looking at the photos, my hair was not how I imagined, my makeup should've been refreshed, and those green shoes just make me giggle!"
—Anonymous
21."My mother-in-law-to-be was very, very sick. We had a short engagement so that she could be at the wedding. My husband's parents wanted all their friends at the wedding. They were paying for it, and I knew how much it meant to them, so I went along with it, but it really was strange that I didn't know about a third of my wedding guests. She ended up passing away three weeks after the wedding, and that night was the last time most people, family and friends, saw her. I do not regret it, and I'm happy we could do that for them, but if circumstances had been different, the guest list would've been much shorter."
—Anonymous
22."I had my future sister-in-law as one of my bridesmaids. She made the day all about her, complained constantly, and would go missing at crucial points. While we were all getting ready before the ceremony, she even told me she sure hoped her boyfriend would propose that day because it would be the perfect ending to the day."
—Anonymous
23."My biggest mistake was marrying the wrong person for all the wrong reasons. I've been married twice. My first husband was my childhood crush. Looking back, I can see how it was a horrible idea. Long story short, I was chasing self-validation by convincing a guy who just wanted someone that he wanted me. He wanted to be married because all his friends were getting married, not because he wanted to build a life together. We were young and on a super tight budget. My mom and I did the food, and a guy I worked with took photos as a gift. We had the reception at the clubhouse in my mom's neighborhood. I made all the bouquets. I think the wedding came in under $2,000, honeymoon included."
"While my ex was a fun, great, likable guy, he was a terrible spouse. Any effort made before our wedding (and there wasn't much) ceased the weekend we married because 'we are married now, so I've done my part.' It took us longer to divorce than we were actually married because of state requirements. I had to handle all that, too, and he made it as difficult as possible. Because I wanted out so badly, I found him an apartment, packed his stuff, and moved him in.
Fast forward a few years when my now-husband and I discussed getting married. After telling him about the disaster that was my first walk down the aisle, we went to the courthouse one day at lunch and got married. We told no one. We asked some random people to be our witnesses, and that was that. He hadn't been married before, so we had a ceremony about a year later. We hired a photographer and caterer and had it at a small, affordable venue. It was completely stress-free for both of us since we were already married. It was lovely having that little secret between us, too. We are celebrating our 24th anniversary this year. My advice is this: If you wouldn't want to be stranded on a desert island with your partner indefinitely, don't get married. All marriages require work, but they shouldn't be all work, and all the work shouldn't be done by only one of you."
—Anonymous
24."A few things! I would've made a must-have photo list. When we got married, our daughters were in the bridal party, and I didn't get any good professional photos with them from that day. I also would have chosen a different photo booth vendor. Ours was bad (lack of props, lack of energy). I also would've spent more time dancing and talking with my guests at each table. Overall, it was the best day ever because my husband is amazingly awesome!!"
25."I regret not trusting my gut about our photographer. She was expensive but highly recommended, and we were impressed by her portfolio. We were required to pay half up front to book the date, and then, not long after, she did our engagement shoot. The pictures came out HORRIBLE. We chalked it up to her having an off day, and we didn't want to lose the $1,500 deposit. Well, on the wedding day, she was MIA for most of the reception, and we had barely any pictures. I should have trusted my instincts and taken the loss. It was a beautiful day that lives mainly in my memory."
—Anonymous
26."Not trying on the dress before the big day. I didn't have anyone to help me get ready and couldn't zip up the dress by myself. My sister-in-law and the wedding planner had to help; one had to hold the dress shut, and the other had to zip it up."
27."We picked our wedding venue because it had fantastic food, a great view, and an overall great facility. We were about to sit down to eat when an older family friend came up and wanted a photo of us. We obliged, which started a line of people who also wanted photos. Photos led to having some drinks; before we knew it, the food was taken away! No one saved food for us, and the coordinator never came to tell us to eat! Lesson: Make sure you eat! Or, if you're a guest, remind the bride and groom to eat!"
—Anonymous
28."I regret hiring a wedding photographer who fought me on what I wanted! I really wanted candid shots and to take bridals in a nearby city. She assured me I would regret those choices, so she staged all the photos, and we took our bridals in nature. I went along with it because she's a professional and has done hundreds of weddings. I hate all of the pictures. They aren't my style or my husband's style at all. We look awkward and out of place. I wish I had gone with my gut and just found someone else. Just because something is a common practice for most weddings and people getting married doesn't mean you have to conform. Don't settle."
—Anonymous
29.And: "I loved our wedding day, but I wish I had cared a little more about the small things. I tried so hard to be an 'easy' bride and not be labeled a bridezilla. It backfired because I should have had more flowers, thought of more songs, taken more pictures, etc."
—Anonymous
Did you make any mistakes with your wedding? What do you regret about your big day? Tell us in the comments or share your story anonymously using this form.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
