I Can't Stop Wheeze-Laughing At The 24 Funniest Tweets By Women This Week
Hello! We are mere days away from the end of December and 2024, and I cannot agree with this more:
December should be a rest month, working always feels wrong in December.
— SCAM GODDESS (@DivaLaci) December 17, 2024
Anyway, here are the funniest tweets by women this week:
Make sure to follow these funny ladies on Twitter!
1.
i was sooo locked in today. didn’t get anything done. but i was like super aware of it
— chase (@_chase_____) December 13, 2024
2.
Whoever designed the iPhone photo update should have to explain themselves My phone just made a video to music of all my passport photos
— haleytalbotcnn (@haleytalbotcnn) December 14, 2024
3.
THEY GOT SABRINA CARPENTER 😭💀 pic.twitter.com/WsjEHyj0lo
— kat ミ☆ (@berrysaphhics) December 15, 2024
4.
I talk to my daughter about how yes “fat” is a normal descriptive word but could hurt people’s feelings & it’s best not to comment anything about anyone’s body. So I’m in the kitchen & hear her go “no we can’t move the couch close to the wall bc mommy’s butt is…. very serious.”
— ❀ white nik ❀ (@niknyxx) December 16, 2024
5.
Cat’s in the Cradle, Christmas version pic.twitter.com/ztZWZe2vyc
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 16, 2024
6.
Man these end times are taking forever
— L (@Ann_Hedonia1) December 15, 2024
7.
Im gonna hold your bald spot when i say this
— لا حولَ (@Idgafwarvet) December 15, 2024
8.
it is so crazy how many hours are actually in a day when u wake up before 11:30 am…..wow………do people know about this
— trish (@ULTRAGLOSS) December 14, 2024
9.
You don't scare me. You're not a trip to Costco on the weekend 10 days before Christmas.
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) December 15, 2024
10.
“oh dude you’re gonna want to see this” i yell to my dog from the other room upon seeing 2 squirrels on a fence
— kenzi (@kenzianidiot) December 15, 2024
11.
Flirted with two guys separately and then found out they are best friends and they sent me a selfie of them together with no caption so I just sent back a voice note of me making train noises. Ball up top.
— Ted (@Tedoffthegrid) December 15, 2024
12.
I have a partner who will always do little things to surprise me but today he sent me flowers because it’s the anniversary of George W. Bush getting a shoe thrown at him. I told him months ago that I considered it a holiday. Never had someone pay attention to my nonsense before.
— cinnamon bun (@notsofiacoppola) December 15, 2024
13.
one thing about Ireland Hinge, these guys LOVE to take pics with the lads. Each profile contains about 25 men with the same haircut and detective Caitie has to figure out which one I’m actually talking to
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) December 16, 2024
14.
what happened to circling back after the holidays!!!! why does everyone need everything now!!!! what is going on!!!!
— Maria (@mlstrat) December 17, 2024
15.
this weekend i participated in a white elephant with a sort of new group of friends. the gift i gave? a curated box of my favorite desserts from throughout nyc. the gift i received? a taxidermied toad
— Anna Krauthamer (@AnnaKrauthamer) December 17, 2024
16.
“how do you get stuff done?” bitch with tears in my eyes 😭
— ً (@soibulma) December 16, 2024
17.
guy at the bar just said “my boy used to work at a michigan star restaurant”
— Karli Marulli (@karlimarulli) December 15, 2024
18.
— mariana (@pastapilled) December 17, 2024
19.
just got diagnosed with cant stop kissing my cat on her perfect little nose disease
— holiday cheermeister (@gardeinqueen) December 16, 2024
20.
daily affirmations 1. i am goated2. i can post on instagram it's okay3. no one is out to get me
— R (@ri6nee) December 16, 2024
21.
Me: *spends 4 hours comparing gift prices on several sites to save $4*Also Me: *spends $33 on pizza because I shopped too long to cook $6 chicken*
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) December 15, 2024
22.
i know i didn’t text back despite “being on my phone for seven hours straight” but you have to understand i was on the escapism phone. the responding to texts phone is different.
— bridget 🌸🐝 (@wholemilkbitch) December 17, 2024
23.
problems cosmo magazine led me to believe I would have as an adult:- going from day to night- wearing incorrect jeans- the man I’m dating is disappointed that I don’t violently rattle his testicles like I’m shooting crapsproblems I actually have as an adult:- aaaaAAAAHHHHH
— Janel Comeau (@VeryBadLlama) December 18, 2024
24.
hey girl are you a holiday gift ribbon because you're spiraling.
— Case (@Cactuscali1991) December 17, 2024
Don't miss the funniest tweets by women last week:
19 Tweets By Women That Made Me, A Fellow Woman, Laugh So Hard I Forgot My Own Name
