13 People Are Sharing How They Handle Having Opposing Political Views With Their Partner

Being with someone who doesn't share your political values can look different for every relationship. Some people (and relationships) are more than capable of handling the constant disagreement... while some can't fathom it.

So, I asked the people of the BuzzFeed Community who are in a relationship with someone who has the opposite political beliefs as them, how do they handle it? Here's what they had to say:

Note: Not all responses came from the BuzzFeed Community, some responses also came from this Reddit Thread

1."I'm a Democrat married to a Libertarian who was raised very conservative Republican. We talk our differences out. We've never yelled or argued about politics. Talking to him about it is very easy. He is actually turning more and more liberal, and I can see how his viewpoints were shaped over the years."

2."I'm very left-leaning, and my partner leans center-right. We had a one-time discussion that recognized that we weren't going to be able to change each other's minds, so we just don't talk politics. We align in most other areas, so we focus on our similarities and not our differences. So far, it's working well."

—clumsyadmiral286

3."For me and my husband, it’s been really easy. The swing further right by the Republican Party has left a bitter taste in my mouth. You could say he’s educated and converted me. My husband is a registered Democrat, and I’ve always been a Republican. We’re both devout Christians and go to church every week as a family."

4."I'm very center with a more left-leaning past. My wife is center-right with a more traditionalist past. We get on wonderfully because we're both kind and patient and understanding of each other. Just because you don't agree with someone on certain issues doesn't mean you can't talk to them or love them."

—metrofan

5."My husband and I are very different politically. I tend to lean liberal, while his values are pretty conservative. We also tend to view issues at different scales. He's more individualistic and concerned with the state of our household, while I am more interested in systems and their influence. This was challenging for us early in our relationship, but the positives each of us brought to the other vastly outweighed the stress caused by political disagreements."

6."I'm married to someone with opposite political beliefs. The key is understanding why each other believes in specific things, being cool with not always agreeing, and having a baseline agreement, like 'In the end, we just want these idiots to start cooperating for the good of the country.'"

—Anonymous

7."My husband is a lifelong Republican, and I am a lifelong Democrat. We’ve been married for 30 years. We had absolutely no problems until Trump came along. It was heated at first, and we have now agreed to disagree and not discuss it. Works for us."

8."It was a deal breaker for me. I can deal with some minor differences, but I couldn’t be with someone who felt so differently about those kinds of things. To be honest, I don’t see a lot of relationships that settle on this topic last long."

"Unless you have no political opinions, but I too found that to be a deal breaker. Like not caring to vote at all seemed worse than voting for people I disagree with. Just my preferences, but politics typically manifest from value systems. If your beliefs don’t match, you may not get along well."

—u/elarth

9."My wife is an antivaxxer, and I’m a firm believer in the sound practices of science. We've been married for 20 years, and we don’t talk politics for the obvious reasons. She’s the most caring and wonderful person I’ve ever met and couldn’t be a better wife and mother to my children. Mad respect to her regardless of her political beliefs."

10."Politics don't have to be overwhelming. I'm left-wing; my girlfriend leans right. We have occasional conversations where we just express our views; we don't really debate or try and change each other's minds unless it ties into a relationship issue. In general we have better things to talk about than politics."

—u/dirty_cheeser

11."It can be tricky. Don’t go into controversial topics expecting to win some debate and instead try to learn and understand their position. When political opinions are made, I take them very lightly because I know I will always disagree, so I choose peace."

12."I'm able to have discussions with family about politics but generally it is impossible for me to be friends or date anyone with political beliefs opposite from my own. The issues aren’t in a vacuum for me and many proposed laws directly affect my quality of life."

"Dating someone who supported that would frankly be masochistic for me. It would hurt if I said I was blocked from medical care or something and the person I was being vulnerable to agrees with the policy or put the person who made it in office."

—u/gummytiddy

And finally, here's a really interesting story about extreme political and religious opposition within a relationship:

13."Up until six or seven years ago, my wife was a conservative Christian for many years, while I am an atheist liberal. I was very into politics; her, not so much. She was very into her religion; me, not so much. We got along VERY well with few topics of contention. We just did our things and respected each other."

Note: Responses have been edited for length and/or clarity. 

If you've ever been in a relationship with someone who has opposing political views and want to share how you handled it, I would love to know.