10 Tricks To Survive A Hangover At Work
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Oopsy, did you get wrecked on a school night?
Waking up to the sound of your liver screaming “help me,” hours before your alarm’s due to go off is the absolute worst.
Now don’t panic, close your dry dry eyes, take a deep breath and remember most horrific hangover you ever had; the one where you puked bile all the next day. God that was terrible. But you survived and you will again.
1. First things first: quench that thirst
Restore your electrolyte balance with a sachet of rehydration salts. Y’know, that rank tasting stuff people take when they’ve got the squits. Now stay hydrated throughout the day. That’s an order, y’hear?
2. Do a hangover poo
What? An empty house is better than a bad tenant.
3. Eat a banana
Drinking booze depletes your potassium levels. Bananas are high in potassium, and gentle on your delicate stomach. Eat one, why don’t you.
4. Keep eating
Grazing throughout the day will help you avoid a blood sugar crisis. Eggs, miso soup and oats will help boost energy levels and are full of vitamins and amino acids. Really you should avoid greasy foods as they irritate the stomach and, contrary to popular belief, don’t soak up the alcohol (your body already did that while you were sleeping, soz) but whatever gets you through the day.
5. Limit your caffeine intake
If you need to take a micro-skive by the coffee machine, get a decaf. Too much caffeine will give you the jitters and make you feel anxious about all those drunken texts you sent. Sorry sorry.
6. Go for a lunchtime walk
You may be crying and doing watery sick burps by the end of the street but the fresh air will do you good.
7. Shut yourself in the disabled loo for a bit
Lay some paper towels down on the floor (or don’t, depends how desperate you’re feeling) and take a restorative power nap. So your boss might think you’ve gone for a gargantuan shite. Who cares? A wee bit of shuteye can do wonders for alcohol-induced fatigue.
8. Don’t look at yourself in the mirror too long
Staring at your face in the mirror won’t make you go back to normal, it’ll just wig you out even more. Avoid, avoid, avoid.
9. Keep shtum
Sure you’re feeling bad, so so bad, but your colleagues? They don’t need to hear you moan about it. Protect your reputation and spare them the details. If you need a shoulder to cry on text a mate form last night. If you were flying solo, write your woes on a tissue and eat it.
10. Big up yourself
You made it to the end of the day. Turn around, lift your hand over your shoulder and give yourself a massive pat on the back. Yeah it was self inflicted, yeah that nightcap was a sh*t idea but you survived, like an absolute champ.
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