How I Won a Bidding War on My Dream Home (Without the Highest Offer)
Think the highest bid always wins when it comes to buying a house? I did, until I managed to get an offer accepted on a house even though someone else in the ferocious bidding war offered a lot more.
When my husband and I found our current home — an impeccable mid-century complete with vintage pink wall oven — I knew we’d be in for a fight. The sellers had priced it low precisely to spark a bidding war. Since it was also further out from the city center than we’d intended to move, we were positioned to offer more than asking, but we still had a firm ceiling.
So, with a limited budget, creativity became key. And happily, the strategy worked so well that the sellers chose our offer over one that would have put beaucoup more bucks in their pockets.
Here’s the thing about selling a house and negotiating a home price: Yes, price matters (of course it matters!), but a lot of other factors can come into play. My friend Michael Downey, a seasoned real estate professional in my home of Louisville, Kentucky (and partner on several projects), shared something that transformed how I think about this: “Most people are moving away from pain, rather than toward pleasure.” Understanding this subtle but critical difference helped shape my approach.
Read the Room (and the Real Estate Pro)
The secret to a winning offer starts with playing amateur psychologist. You need to figure out what’s really motivating the sale. Inside tip: The seller’s agent might be more willing to share that information than you’d expect.
Agents “want to make the most money with the least effort,” Michael says. “If they believe that you will make it to the closing table … that is very valuable to a Realtor who wants to be able to say to their seller, ‘yes, go ahead and book the moving truck.’”
But will they really spill details? “Usually the folks that go into real estate are chatty, and they like to talk,” Michael says. And often, he points out, they’re someone who knows the seller well. A casual conversation might reveal exactly what you need to know to put together the perfect offer.
Even without inside information, you can learn a lot by asking seemingly casual questions like “Are they staying in the neighborhood?” or “Why decide to list now?” Michael notes. “Sometimes just how they react may give you some good intel.” You might even pick up clues during showings — graduation photos or baby pictures can tell a story.
Use an Escalation Clause to Stay Competitive
First, an essential tool: Use an escalation clause. An escalation clause meant my offer would automatically increase if someone bid higher, up to my maximum. It keeps you in the game while protecting you from overpaying if nobody else is willing to go as high as you are.
Offer Maximum Flexibility on Timing
I knew timing was make-or-break for these sellers. They had a reverse contingency, meaning they needed to find their next house before agreeing to close on this one. So instead of pushing for a quick close, we gave them up to 180 days to find their perfect place. That breathing room was apparently worth more to them than extra cash from a buyer who might have needed to close more quickly.
Take the Stress Out of Inspection
I made it clear up front that there would be no nickel and diming over inspection items. Anything with a repair cost under $10,000 wouldn’t even be discussed. The magic words? “Inspection is for information only.”
This is not quite the same as an “as-is” offer, as it protected us from big-ticket issues, but it gave them confidence that the inspection period wouldn’t turn into a second negotiation (my pet peeve when I’m the seller!).
Remove the Biggest Pain of Moving — Moving!
Having experienced the magic of a move manager, in our offer we included a gift card to cover packing services from the company we’d used. The sellers took us up on this, and I’m certain it was as huge a relief for them as it was for me.
Make the Clean-Out Easy
Here’s another stress-reducer that clearly resonated: We told the sellers they could leave behind anything they didn’t want to deal with when they were moving. No need to clear out every last item or worry about heavy furniture they weren’t planning to take along. They definitely took advantage of this offer (anyone need a cat tower or sewing table?), which told me it was also something they’d been worried about.
Prove You’ll Make It to the Closing Table
The sellers could be confident we were fully vetted by the lender. This wasn’t just a prequalification — our offer packet included a complete approval for more than our bid amount.
As Michael puts it, “People can write contracts all day long. None of that matters until you make it to the closing table.” This reliability factor can make your offer more attractive to not just the sellers, but their agent, too, who likely is advising them on which offer to accept.
Altogether, even though our offer was far from the highest, it was the most attractive, and got us the home I knew we were meant to have.
Beyond Price: What Matters More than Money
The moral of the story? In a bidding war, your bank account may not be the silver bullet. Instead, put yourself in the sellers’ shoes. What would make their life easier? What would give them peace of mind?
Whether you’re working with an agent or going it alone, remember that, yes, money talks, but some things say more. Get creative, be flexible, and focus on solving the sellers’ pain. You might just find yourself with the winning bid, even if it’s not the highest one.
Further Reading
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