20 Million People Have Watched This Woman Stick Up For Herself In The Delivery Room Right After Giving Birth
Giving birth has to be one of the most magical, yet terrifying things a human can do.
While the internet tends to make light of some of the reasons why it can be scary af, the reality is maternal mortality rates in the US have been on the rise, particularly during the pandemic and especially among Black people, according to the CDC.
That is why it's so important for expectant parents, particularly mothers, to advocate for themselves throughout their pregnancies and during their labor and delivery.
Recently, a video of the moments following a new mother's labor and delivery went viral on TikTok with 20 million views.
TikTok: @taylor_._mae / Via tiktok.com
The mother in the video is 22-year-old Taylor Locke, known as @taylor_._mae on TikTok. She's a stay-at-home mom from Ohio. In the video Taylor is holding her newborn baby as doctors and her midwife seem to be shuffling around them. Then her midwife says, "We're gonna cut the [umbilical] cord cause your placenta is trying to come, okay?"
Taylor then asks her, "Is the cord white?"
The midwife responds, "Well, it's its normal color." To which Taylor responds, "I wanna wait until it's white to cut it." She then appears to look up at her midwife who doesn't seem to respond to her.
In the caption of the video, Taylor wrote, "You deserve the labor and delivery that YOU want. Don't be scared to speak up. This is my third baby, third unmedicated labor and delivery...third hospital birth, and second time delayed cord clamping."
"Delayed cord clamping or optimal cord clamping, is waiting for the umbilical cord to stop pulsating and being emptied of blood after the baby is born," Emily Ma'Umalanga, a 33-year-old midwife in Sydney, Australia, told BuzzFeed.
"After birth, a baby is still receiving blood from the placenta while we wait for the placenta to detach from the wall of the uterus... Some amazing benefits of optimal cord clamping include increasing the amount of iron and hemoglobin in a baby’s system (reducing the risk of iron deficiency in the first year of life), encouraging the transfer of immunoglobulins and stem cells, which assist in the repair of tissue damage and organs, and potentially increasing the baby’s blood volume by over 30%."
A lot of mothers had strong reactions in the comments of the video. One person commented on the lack of response from Taylor's midwife, "The silence after you stated what you wanted SPEAKS VOLUMES. You go girl!"
Many people commended Taylor for her assertiveness. "It's the look in your eyes after you tell her you want to wait ... like, 'you BETTER listen'!"
And this person shared that they had a similar experience. "Girl yes!! I said the same thing and then 2 minutes later they asked me again. I don't get why they do that."
On the other hand, this person shared that they benefited from having an advocate in their delivery room. "When they went to cut the cord the nurse stopped them and said ' did y'all not read the birth plan she made?!'"
And finally, a lot of people expressed their support for delayed cord clamping. This person said, "My hospital said delayed cord clamping is the new standard and I'm so excited about that."
In an interview with BuzzFeed, Taylor explained how she was able to have the confidence to advocate for herself in that moment. "Being a third-time mom, I am very aware that I am the one in the delivery room who is in control, unless something is medically wrong. I knew what I wanted and I knew if cutting the [umbilical] cord early was medically necessary my midwife would have expressed that."
Taylor acknowledged that it was "weird" that her midwife "didn’t show any acknowledgement after I expressed what I wanted," and that she "would’ve liked at least an 'OK' to acknowledge my wishes." But she also defended her midwife.
"I want to make it very clear that she is a great midwife, and I enjoyed my experience with her. We had discussed my birth plan multiple times during prenatal appointments, but like many doctors, she sees a lot of patients, so I’m sure it’s easy to miss something or forget, and I don’t hold that against her."
However, when Ma'Umalanga saw the video she had a different reaction. "There were so many things that bothered me watching that video. The fact that the midwife insinuated that the cord needed to be cut for the placenta to be birthed is incorrect and not backed by evidence. There is no reason that a placenta can’t be birthed while still attached to the baby by the umbilical cord."
"I also feel like the midwife was somewhat dismissive when this woman asked if the cord was white. Replying with 'Well, it’s its normal color' is not really answering this woman’s question. It’s a vague response."
"Most importantly, the midwife should have been speaking to the woman with a bit more respect. It’s so important that we as midwives respect a woman’s choice during her pregnancy, birth, and journey into motherhood," she said.
However, Emily also made sure to extend some grace to the midwife. "It’s probably not fair to have too critical an opinion without knowing exactly what was going on in the room at the time... Our system is poorly set up and is burning out a lot of midwives, so I think we also need to be kind to this midwife... It doesn’t excuse treating women disrespectfully, but it may provide some insight into why she reacted the way she did."
Emily said she's glad there is a cultural shift that is empowering women to advocate for themselves in the delivery room. "However, this puts so much pressure on them [women] to know all there is to know about labor, birth, and babies. It’s not very fair. Women should be able to trust their care providers, but unfortunately not all care is equal and not all care providers have the same approach to caring for women."
"Having a known care provider, also known as continuity of care, is such a game-changer for women. When a woman is able to gradually build trust in her midwife or doctor it makes a huge difference to her experience."
Emily shared some advice for midwives who are working with a mother that is making a choice they may disagree with. "Your main role [as a midwife] is to be a support for her. If there is genuine concern that a woman might not be making a safe choice, provide her with unbiased, evidence-based information."
"This involves NOT using scare tactics or coercive language and includes presenting information in a way that is easy to understand. Then, once you’ve given her the information, give her time to ask questions and make a decision. If time permits, leave her alone to discuss it with her partner or support person. Then, when she makes a decision, respect it, even if you don’t agree."
What do you think about the midwife's response? Do you know of anyone who's had a similar experience? Let us know in the comments.
