Women Who Live Alone Are Sharing The Things They Do To Help Them Feel Safer, And It Sucks That The World Calls For This Level Of Caution
Unfortunately, though living alone has its perks, living alone as a woman may require extra precautions and safeguards. So, I recently asked the women of the BuzzFeed Community who live alone to share the things they do to help them feel a whole lot safer. Here are some tips and tricks that are not only helpful and clever but also show just how far women have to go to protect themselves:
1."I have bear spray and wasp spray at the front door. That will stop almost anyone."
2."Aside from allowing my Rottweiler mix to bark for a few minutes a few times a day outside, I talk to my 'partner.' I'll holler when I leave through the front door, 'Door is locked — I'll be back soon!' or 'You're on your own for dinner. I'll be home later.' I do this, particularly at night. I make a ridiculous scene of celebrating when I get home after an Uber ride, acting like I'm so excited to see my man and hurrying to the door. Or I'll fake a call and tell 'him' to turn the porch light on. I also wear a fake engagement ring whenever I'm in an Uber alone. Basically, I'm owed an Emmy for my performance. People are creepy, and I'm paranoid."
—Juliet, 37
3."Talk radio. I ask my Alexa to play NPR the moment I step into my apartment so that if someone is potentially listening in the hallway, it sounds like people are having a conversation (and it's usually a good balance of men and women. Bonus: I learn a lot of interesting things."
—Anonymous
4."I have a long-ish piece of plastic pipe in the well of my bed. Pipes look innocent, but they are whips that can break bones, and people don't realize this. Makes a great weapon."
5."I have a metal gate door installed at my house's entry. That way, I can open the front door and see who's there without them being able to get in. If I will be away from my house, I flip on the manual garage door locks. I also have a living room lamp on a timer."
6."I'm very careful about who I give my address to; I wait several dates before I let someone know where I live. My whole family uses the Do Not Disturb feature on our phones liberally, but we have an override set up for calls from each other. If I'm calling anyone in the middle of the night, it's important!"
—Anonymous
7."My grandmother used to keep a pair of men's shoes outside of her apartment door. She was widowed young and lived alone for about 50 years. I hope everyone stays safe!"
8."Overall, I feel very safe living alone. However, I do keep a switchblade on my nightstand. My sister's mother-in-law (another independent woman) gave it to me when I moved out on my own. Someone has banged on my door in the middle of the night a couple of times, so it feels good to have the blade beside me."
—Anonymous, 32, Washington
9."If you go to the laundry room at your complex, always lock your door. Even if you're gone for a few minutes, always lock it."
—Anonymous
10."When walking home, if I am on a darker street or passing people late at night, I sometimes talk on my phone and pretend I'm meeting someone. I'll say things like, 'Oh, I'm a block away; I can see you!' and 'I'll be home soon. You have my location, so you should know!'"
—Anonymous
11."I went and bought thick wooden dowels to put in all of my sliding doors and windows so they can't be opened. I bought some baseball bats at a garage sale and have one behind my front door and next to my bed. This is all in addition to my big dog sleeping with me. I feel super comfortable that no one is getting through without one hell of a fight!"
12."I have a double last name on my door so that it looks like two people: Smith Jones."
—Anonymous, Ohio
13."When I order food, it's usually an amount that can feed two people so that nobody thinks it's just me in the home."
—Anonymous, 34, Pennsylvania
14."I never walk from my car to the front door holding my house key. I make sure to hold the bunch in my hand, or my car key specifically, so that if someone is watching me, they won't know which key opens the front door. I think it'd be more of a struggle for an intruder to go through the several keys on my ring, so I hope by not making it obvious which key opens my door, it deters creeps and makes me less of an 'easy' target."
15."I took my grandpa's advice (he's a retired sheriff) of keeping my bicycle lock within reach whenever I'm home. A nice piece of heavy link chain with a big fat padlock attached to it can be anything between deterring and lethal if you swing it hard enough."
16."I don't live in the best part of town. It's not terribly unsafe, but there have been some scary instances, including one where a clearly intoxicated person pounded on my door at 2 a.m. and wouldn't leave. Because I live on the top floor, I have a fire ladder that I can use to make a quick escape if needed. I also have a little handheld stun gun I carry whenever I need to take my dog outside. Living on the third floor does add some extra security, but I still want to be prepared."
17."I have a camera on my door, and I'm friends with people who live nearby. When I don't have time to stop and chat, we at least smile and wave to each other. That lets people know it will be noticed if something happens to me."
18."This was COMPLETELY intentional, but I live in an apartment where it's close to the police. Like, so close that I could walk there. I also got to know the police so I can trust them."
—Azalea, 28
19."I used to set a couple of empty glass bottles under each ground-floor window. If someone were to try and break in that way, they wouldn't know the bottles were there and make a huge racket. I'm a really light sleeper, so the noise would definitely wake me. It's awful we have to think this way."
20."I keep two hammers next to the bed — sometimes I keep one under the pillow after watching too much SVU. I also keep bells on my doorknobs."
21."Before I got my guns when I was younger and living in an apartment, I made sure every room had a hidden weapon. The living room had a super large, heavy mag light under the couch, every window had a very sharp knife jammed between the window and sill, closets had mace sprays, the bathroom had bleach in a spray bottle, and there was even a knife hidden under the tablecloth of the dining room table. In the kitchen, I hid knives between canned goods and in the fridge, and I had a Louisville slugger bat by the back and front doors. If someone were dumb enough to break in, they would be leaving in a body bag."
—Anonymous
22."As a single mom of two, I have a security alarm for my house that has a door chime function so I know when anyone enters or exits."
—Anonymous
23.Lastly: "I take Krav Maga. I'm a lot stronger than I used to be; I finally know how to throw a punch and various kicks, and I've been told I throw a monster elbow. A push-kick to the gut or a groin kick should do the trick if you want someone to get away fast. With both kicks, it's all in the hips, and you want to kick through them (which is true with any strike). I couldn't recommend Krav more. It's a martial art that's more like fighting on the street, and it encourages you to do whatever it takes to stay alive — including not fighting in the first place. I think it's especially important to learn now that we're going to have that orange man as President of the United States yet again."
Well, looks like it's time for me to order some bear spray. If you're a woman who lives alone, what are some things you do to help you feel safe? Let us know your tips and tricks in the comments, or you can anonymously submit them using this form!
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
